[Jordy]

Usually I never reach out to T in between sessions, but I did so two weeks ago and had a crisis intervention for my suicidal thoughts. I've been a bit better afterwards and saw her again last Friday.
But over the last 2-3 I've been slipping down again... I don't want to fall apart, I don't want to be so needy, I don't want to bother her, I don't want to disappoint her... but I'm not sure how long I can go on like this without her help....

[NowhereUSA]

If she's said it's okay, then it's okay. Some weeks I email my T practically every day. Other times not at all. To be fair though, he doesn't have to respond and I don't expect a response. He has, at times, responded and it's been helpful.

Idk. I'm paying him to be my T, not to like me. I mean, sure it's nice if he likes me but I have issues with people liking me so maybe I'm not the best person to ask?

[SnakeCharmer]

If you're slipping back down into suicidal thoughts, reaching out to your T is a good thing. Just out of pure human feeling, T's don't want their patients to harm themselves. If you need help, it's better to reach out than to do something regrettable.

It only becomes a problem if patients do it manipulatively, just to get attention or to create chaos. Some people do that. But that doesn't sound like you, Jordy. I've read many of your posts and you sound like someone who's honestly struggling and trying to get help.

If you're slipping back toward suicide, it's better to ask for help than to suffer in silence. Take care.

[Jordy]

I know she doesn't want me to harm myself, and she has told me to call her if I need her. And yes it would be nice to talk to her, but I'm still coping with skills. I haven't harmed myself in any way and don't intend to do so.
It's just that I want some relief from these constant negative thoughts and I just can't seem to get any...

[NowhereUSA]

If you think it'll help, I would. Sometime I e-mail my T just to dump the negative thoughts somewhere so to speak.

Originally Posted by SnakeCharmer

If you're slipping back down into suicidal thoughts, reaching out to your T is a good thing. Just out of pure human feeling, T's don't want their patients to harm themselves. If you need help, it's better to reach out than to do something regrettable.

It only becomes a problem if patients do it manipulatively, just to get attention or to create chaos. Some people do that. But that doesn't sound like you, Jordy. I've read many of your posts and you sound like someone who's honestly struggling and trying to get help.

If you're slipping back toward suicide, it's better to ask for help than to suffer in silence. Take care.

I think it's important to note that while there maybe people who do it "for attention" often it's because they don't know how to get what they need and so by the time they reach out, they're falling apart.

Remember how much better you felt when you reached out to her last time? That's what you can expect. This has been building for a long time. She knows that. No backsliding allowed!

[Jordy]

The thing is I worry she may want me to go in-patient this time or at the very least take some time off work. I just can't do that...

You can decide that, though, right? And did she give any indication last time that would be the next step?

[Jordy]

I can decide that as long as she's convinced I'm no danger to myself... if she doesn't she'll call an ambulance right away.

And yes, she said it doesn't have to come to that, but it is an option.

The therapists I've had (and current pdoc) would see reaching out as life-affirming more than life-threatening. And if you don't think you're at risk, they shouldn't either. It's the reaching out that makes the difference, imo.

[healed84]

I reach out when I feel like I need to.. Whether that is for suicidal thoughts, unexpected things coming up, etc. That being said, its generally in the form of email, and he has control of when and if he responds or even reads it. So, I don't feel so bad about emailing. My T, though, said he would let me know if my reaching got to be too much. I guess what he was trying to get at is, is reach out when you feel it is needed.. and we will talk about it if it gets out of control. Generally, he thanks me for keeping him in the loop when I email him and tell him that I feel myself going down, so I get that reassurance that it is ok.

[Jordy]

So you think she's more likely to hospitalize me next session if I don't reach out before then? Didn't think of it that way...

No. I just think that you don't have to worry about that if you reach out to her. Sooner would be better (for your sake), but that's up to you.

[Jordy]

T just emailed me back about some job applications. Just reading her words and realizing she's thinking of me at nearly 11pm makes me feel so warm and fuzzy inside. I can't believe this woman is supporting me much more than my parents ever did...

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