[20oney]

For weeks I have just been feeling so down. I've been thinking. A lot. Lots of stuff going through my head. Endless amounts of stuff.
I've also had a difficult time at work since returning from holidays. It's been frustrating at the best of times.
I just want to talk to someone. About everything.
I had a rough patch a few years ago. I had absolutely no support from anyone ever. As much as it is in the past, it is what has shaped my life today.
But it bothers me. It is like it's eating away at me. Just getting ready for my head to explode.
There's only so much one person can hold in right?
Well I've held my whole life in. Everything. I have no comfort talking to anyone.! I've always been reserved and shy. Don't get me wrong, I've got some great friends. But they're all useless to talk to.
Even my boyfriend, he just doesn't get that behind the smile, I'm not so happy.
I Donno.

I want to talk to someone, I want someone to just push and push me till I talk, I tell them everything. I just want someone to notice and to not let me just brush everything off as yeah I'm perfectly fine.

Argh. I can't just talk on the net. I cannot connect with someone like that.

[growlycat]

Talking on pc seems weird at first but there are lots of supportive people here.

Are you in therapy or thinking of starting?

[20oney]

Originally Posted by growlycat

Talking on pc seems weird at first but there are lots of supportive people here.

Are you in therapy or thinking of starting?

I'm not in therapy. I don't know if I could do it. I Donno, if I could, I would try.

When I first started therapy it was the first time I have ever felt understood, valued and listened to in my whole life and it was huge. That is not to say it is easy to open up, but when you feel that someone finally understands you, it is a very intense feeling, and immensely healing. From what you describe, I think therapy could be valuable for you.

Hug.............

Therapy can be tough, but well worth the effort.
You may need to try out a few therapists before you find the one that works best, but it is worth the effort. It gave me an outlet I so desperately needed. It is definitely worth a shot.

I am talking a lot more than I ever have in my life. I found the chat rooms here. I've been visiting them since the Fall. I can tell the people there exactly what is going on with me. More times than not, someone there has been through the same thing. My therapist actually encourages me to hang out there. I don't feel so alone anymore. Yes I have met some real jerks there, but I have also met some very nice, caring, special people.