wondering :hug: can i do this

Wow i kinda freudian slipped myself. When i saw this thread title in my posts, it sounded - well it didnt sound just technical, did it??

I texted t and asked for a snow day or two so that i can continue with my decluttering. That is very assertive of me. To commit to doing it. Even to say i want to do it. Well, i SAY i want to, but taking steps towards accomplishing things - its like i have to hide them from myself so i dont get spooked. But i havent been feeling spooked lately.

I need need need to declutter around here, so I am with you. Argh.

Good for you..for committing and getting something accomplished!

My house also needs MAJOR decluttering so I understand! That's great, hankster! I'm in a blizzard now. so may have a real snow day!!

I say good job telling the therapist what you want to do.

Okay, i didnt do much yesterday, but i did take a shower. Yeah i am one of those non-showerers. I remember the first time i decided not to take a shower. Definitely a slippery slope of depression and loss of self esteem which was non existent to begin with or whatever. Anyway mondays shower made it a lot easier for me to get up and get going on tuesday.

Also last night i texted t to confirm tuesday off, wednesday on. And i added some stuff about the super bowl cuz honestly i think he thinks that when i ask for time off, that i am mad at him or interviewing other ts, which i am not. Maybe i should say transferentially, not honestly. Then there is his countertransference - he still gets a little defensive. But i just asked for what i wanted, and gave him a little something too. Look at me being nice! Because thats how people should treat each other. A t is not a robot nor a whipping boy. My parents would remind me that i belonged to them, they made me, i was theirs. Gross. I am a child of the universe

So tuesday early afternoon and i have 3 loads of laundry in (i love apartment building laundry rooms with mass quantities of appliances!). So maybe the answer is yes, i can do this. Without getting killed.