[precaryous]

Does anyone talk to themselves or shout out, in private, to stop an unhappy thought?

I have the habit of talking out to myself. If my mind has drifted away or flashed to an unhappy memory or thought, I might say, "No!" - or similar word- to stop the thought. It's a nervous habit, I think. Many times I catch myself trash-talking myself when I remember something....Like, "I hate you!"

Well, I told T that many times I trash-talk myself worse than anyone has ever trash-talked me. I would rarely ever say to anyone the kinds of things I say out loud to myself. I can't type most of these words here because they'd just appear as ***** .

Sooo, my assignment is to make a list of things I say out loud to myself.
I warned her that these words are far from nice. I discovered I can swear like a sailor...I think I have even made up new swear words in the heat of the moment. I don't normally swear IRL unless I lose playing a video game. Lol.

The more I think about, I am enjoying the idea of my sweet little old lady T with soft flowing clothes and big glasses- of having her read my list outloud.
I don't know how we are going to do this...but it might be educational for one of us.

[catonyx]

I talk to myself. Nothing like what you are describing though. I just talk about what I am doing. I also talk to inanimate objects. It used to freak people out where I used to work lol. I'd be taking to the product and working just fine.

I think I have a lot to say and I get anxious talking to people. So I just talk to myself or objects that can't respond to fill that need.

[ThisWayOut]

My dialogue is mostly in my head because my mom's dialogue is always out loud (Live with her atm). When I lived away from her, the dialogue used to be out loud more often. I do talk to inanimate objects often though.

[scallion5]

I do this. I don't know if it's to stop unhappy thoughts or what, but I end up shouting at myself. Mostly it's actually saying "kill yourself you stupid ****"

I also made a list. My T assumed I was having a bad day and something went wrong at work because of the frequency. I said, "not really, the thing at work went really well. this is just my life."

if you figure out how to stop it, lemme know.

[SnakeCharmer]

Part of my therapy was identifying those ugly things I might say about myself or others or life. Then we'd look at the emotions, thoughts, beliefs and activating events that brought it on. Then we'd dispute the thoughts and beliefs rationally.

Say, for example, I was saying I was a ... to avoid the filter ... a goshdarned nogoodniking bum and loser because I fiddlesticked up again because that mothball loving shitake eating soup maker had annoyed my precious eyeballs.

Or similar words.

We'd analyze that, look at it for rating and labeling, cognitive distortions and irrational beliefs. For example, it's an irrational belief that my eyeballs are so intensely precious that no one should ever annoy them and they're a low-down soup maker if they do. It's far healthier to say that I'd strongly prefer it if my eyeballs weren't annoyed and they're really no more precious than anybody else's eyeballs and it's unfortunate that I felt annoyed but just because someone did something I didn't like, it didn't make them a soup maker. And so on in that vein. Using the language that I'd used in my own mind or out loud in private.

We'd also work on accepting that I sometimes use salty language and that doesn't make me a nogoodniking bum, but it would be highly preferable if I didn't dwell on those ideas or actually say them to people because I live in a social environment and there are usually consequences to calling people soup makers.

I also learned to practice "thought stopping" if I start catastrophizing or even making things up in drama llama fashion. I used to do that when I was a school girl. If someone offended or hurt me I'd write a whole scenario inside my head making their actions worse and my wounds deeper and I'd feel that pain. It was maybe a way of avoiding the deeper wounds I could never talk about back then. I think most kids do it to some degree and some people don't learn to stop it.

With thought stopping, when I recognize the catastrophizing, I say outloud: STOP! If I'm with other people I say it to myself. If I'm alone, I say it outloud, rather loudly, and may even hold my arm and hand up like a traffic cop. STOP! That thought is an exaggeration. STOP! That thinking is going to make me feel worse. STOP! That's not true.

Then after some deep breaths I start analyzing my own cognitive distortions and self-defeating behaviors as well as the person I'm annoyed at. I get to analyze their actions, too, without condemning them or damning them to hell or hating them for offending my precious eyeballs. If they've done something that is truly detrimental, I may decide to detach from them or tell them what I'm thinking and feeling after I calm down or try to negotiate some sort of agreement. It doesn't always work to get an agreement, but it does work to calm me down and it keeps me from distressing myself too much. I hope it works for you, Pre.

Originally Posted by precaryous

Does anyone talk to themselves or shout out, in private, to stop an unhappy thought?

Yes. It's repetitive and sometimes nonsensical, but usually just swear words and threats.

Medication has worked wonders for this.

I say "I hate you" out loud to myself to stop certain thoughts. A lot. In English or in my native language. I don't think I have mentioned that to T, though.

[StressedMess]

I say "STOP" out loud if alone, and think very loudly at myself if people are around. I have to interrupt that spinning cycle of intrusive thoughts, or I'll get sucked into it like a whirlpool. The thing is, I haven't quite figured out what to do afterwards, so there is no healing. At least it's a temporary reprieve from angry self hatred.

Good luck Pre!

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[lacerta]

I do this. It's disturbing. I have not figure out how to stop this.