[musinglizzy]

LOL...so, I don't sleep much (I get maybe 24 hours a week), and I didn't sleep at all last night. Had T today, and I got a little emotional...and being tired helped that I'm sure. She came and sat by me and invited me to put my head on her shoulder. I "laid on her" for the last 20 minutes of my session...but I fell asleep! She had to wake me up at the end of the session. A little embarrassing.... lol

[IndestructibleGirl]

This is really cute! I hope you feel wonderful for it.

24 hours sleep a week, ouch. I could not survive on that!

[musinglizzy]

I feel a little embarrassed about it...lol. But obviously I felt comfortable and safe, or I'da never allowed that to happen.

[Gavinandnikki]

Yes, comfortable and safe. What better place to have a bit of recharging. Did you feel rested after?

You must get more than 24 hours/week! Your mind doesn't like that. Sweet dreams tonight.

Aww that is cute. Try to take power naps in the middle of the day!

[JustShakey]

Awww, lucky! I'd love to fall asleep on my T

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Thats great that you felt safe
When my t and i were still in the same area, i used to fall asleep on her shoulder. She would let me sleep for a bit because she wanted me to know what it was like to feel that safe. One time we had a session late at night and we BOTH dozed off

[musinglizzy]

I felt awkward when I woke up....wasn't asleep for long....I feel a little rested now because I took a power nap on the couch tonight too. Once, awhile back, my T said she wished I'd just lay back on the couch and sleep. Just sleep my session away, where I'd not feel so alone. I remember thinking I'd have never felt comfortable coming in and laying down, whether awake or asleep, for a session, but also thought it would be weird to sleep with someone watching me. Well, she wasn't watching me....she was holding me. Still can't believe I passed out. I was trying to stop myself from crying, she wants me to, but I hate to cry.... so I was focusing on her heart beat and her breathing, and that was it, I was a gonner.

I think that safe and secure experience might stay in your unconscious and give you more security in your future sleeping and waking life.

[iheartjacques]

Wow. When I go, it's usually quite productive and I don't come out tired if I've gone in dead on my feet

[musinglizzy]

Unfortunately, I didn't stay productive yesterday. I was fairly active the first half of my session, but the second, I was close to a shut down. I don't know if you cry during sessions ever, Iheartjacques, but when I do, typically shut down is imminent. I'm working on that part. So based on yesterday's session and my feelings involved with it, I'm glad she just left me be. She seems to know when to push, no, give a gentle little shove, and when to just go with the flow and let me do what I'm going to do.

[LindaLu]

I've come to session exhausted and worried I might fall asleep during a relaxation exercise. You have a great relationship with your T that this happened and you're both ok with it. It is a little embarrassing for you but sweet for us to read. Thanks!

That's an expensive nap.

[Ellahmae]

Mine is always trying to get me to take a nap - never thought of it that way at LS! Next time she mentions it I'm going to tell her I can sleep for free at home.

I've never actually fallen asleep in session, but I've fallen soundly asleep on the fantastic leather couch in the waiting room more than once and he's had to wake me up. That couch is one reason I go early to appointments; it is the most comfortable couch I've ever sat on.

[AllHeart]

It's an adorable story. Moreover, it's a powerful story. To feel so comfortable, safe and trusting with your T is a blessing.

I hope this experience will allow you to continue to make yourself vulnerable in her presence. Being vulnerable can be a catalyst for getting rid of those nasty feelings of shame. Ick.

PS - There is no shame in crying! I bet if you cried in front of your therapist you would feel immense relief!

[musinglizzy]

AllHeart, thank you, your post touched me. I have never slept real well. Especially when Im not at home. So to fall asleep there (as dead tired as I was) amazed me. And to fall asleep on her, even moreso. I DO feel very vulnerable...but I do feel safe with her, if that makes any sense.

BTW, as far as the expensive nap, my insurance pays for my therapy. May as well use it as well as I can, since we have to pay $150 a week for it. It's good insurance, just expensive. I could see T every single day, and they'd cover it. There is no limit.

She wants me to cry. She's always talking about the benefits of crying.... and for the most part, IF I cry at all, it's a few sobs in her office. But I'm always ashamed, and turn away from her. I mean, back facing her, whole nine yards.

I grew up in a home where it wasn't ok to cry. "keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about" is what I heard daily. So I can cry if I choose to let myself (which I don't), but in front of others I have a hard time.

She spent months getting me to this point. I used to shake uncontrollably, Even my hair would shake, to keep me from crying....that's how hard I fought it. Now, the tears come. I still shake and try to fight it, but it's feeling more comfortable now because I'm being encouraged to do so, not ridiculed. I'm thankful I have the kind of T who will come sit by me and hold me while I cry. I longed for that a lifetime ago.... first to have permission to cry, then to have someone support me while I did. It surprised the heck out of me when she did it the first time. I sort of initiated it, I asked her if she could come sit by me, or if that was "against the rules." She said "I was just going to." She wishes I would cry more.... but it's all I got. Unless I absolutely lose it at the wrong time, I never cry in front of anyone. Except her now. I do feel safe, comfortable and trusting of my T. Almost to a fault. I don't know exactly how she felt about my falling asleep.... at the end of the session she was waking me up, and I heard her say "you fell asleep!" Then went on to lecture me about how "you need more sleep, my dear! Please try to get some sleep tonight." Hey, I got 4.5 hours...which is making progress!

[musinglizzy]

Therapy again tomorrow. (I see her twice a week). I fully intend to STAY AWAKE this time....lol

[x5darkangel452]

I can't imagine my T every letting me do that, but it's wonderful to imagine!

[InRealLife45]

Originally Posted by musinglizzy

I felt awkward when I woke up....wasn't asleep for long....I feel a little rested now because I took a power nap on the couch tonight too. Once, awhile back, my T said she wished I'd just lay back on the couch and sleep. Just sleep my session away, where I'd not feel so alone. I remember thinking I'd have never felt comfortable coming in and laying down, whether awake or asleep, for a session, but also thought it would be weird to sleep with someone watching me. Well, she wasn't watching me....she was holding me. Still can't believe I passed out. I was trying to stop myself from crying, she wants me to, but I hate to cry.... so I was focusing on her heart beat and her breathing, and that was it, I was a gonner.

.
my t used to do this, too. it was nice. enjoy it.