Not giving up

Has anyone tried to push there therapist away, be mean on purpose, shut down in therapy,Send Nasty emails.
I have let my guard down and I started to let my therapist see the "The Real Me" I have told her some things I Never have told anyone before. The fact I'm getting close to her is really scaring me. The fact she truly cares, the fact that she is ok with hugging, the fact that she calls me on my ******** is really scary. The closer I get the harder I push.
She told me " She's not giving up or terminating me regardless.
That it's my choice to end services. She said she's not giving in, she's not going let me push her away. She said she knows I'm scared. OMG I'm so scared.

Has anyone had a similar experience? Does anyonelse push away?

I've never gone to that extent, but I have considered it. On a side note though, I did choose to show her some self harm scars that she said was me testing her to see if she'd be "repulsed" or would stop caring for me, etc.

I think that it is wonderful that she recognizes/validates your fears and struggles and is willing to help you navigate through those no matter how messy it gets.

I have been mad at my T, told her she sucks, picked her apart meaning telling her all the ways she doesn't care or is too tough. I have also told her I pick her apart and push her away to avoid being close to her. That it's hard to be close to her. That I'm scared she's going to hurt me.
She recently told me she's not going to abandon me, that I can't push her away, she won't push me away and I need to stay in therapy but she can't make me stay. It's helped with my trust issues but I still don't trust her 100%.
This week she pushed me hard and it's the first time I still feel connected and secure in between sessions. I think my trust is getting stronger and my attachment more secure. It feels so much better.