[growlycat]

I feel like an entitled brat even complaining about this. I see in between therapy contact as a bonus, a favor, a gift , at least for me.

T forgot to check in with me as he offered to. Then again, I'm not sure if my GMAIL had an outtage this week because I seem to have 3 days where I didn't get anything (and my gmail is pretty spam infested)

I'm hoping that it is a glitch and he didn't forget me. Until I can reality check with T, I feel really uneasy, like yup, here it is. He doesn't care.

It doesn't matter whether it is an extra bonus or not. What matters is the feelings this awakes in you. (I'm sure you know this, but at least for me it can be helpful to have that kind of thing pointed out to me even when I am already aware of it.) It's good that you realise that it could very well be a technoglitch.

Can you write down, for yourself, how it makes you feel and your thoughts around it? Maybe that can help you keep the thoughts contained until you next see your T?

There is also a third option: that something came up that took precedence. As in, maybe his child was in a car accident and is now in the ICU or something.

I hope your T gets back to you soon.

[ThingWithFeathers]

I know that feeling, it's a horrible one. I'm sorry you're feeling so rotten about it. I think it really is possible that it got lost if your email account was playing up. But I know that doesn't help the questioning and self doubt. Even if your t wasn't able to check in with you, there could be a very reasonable explanation - it certainly doesn't mean that your t doesn't care for you

There's also a chance that he thought he sent you an email, but didn't. Intending to do something can feel real to the mind, as though it's something that's been done. How old is he?

Emails go both ways. Why not just email him and say something like, you were eagerly awaiting his email checking in with you, so you're doing the check in with him instead? People forget, get sidetracked, things come up. It is very unlikely about you, and certainly not about him not caring about you.

[stopdog]

I don't think it is unreasonable to feel disappointed in such a circumstance. Therapists should not say things they don't mean. If the therapist did just forget, that does not negate your feelings nor does it mean you should just let it slide. Tell the guy about it. One does not have to worry about the feelings of the therapist, and telling them they have failed is something a client gets to do.

[guilloche]

I'm sorry Growlycat... I agree, feeling forgotten totally sucks, especially when the other person *offered* to do the check-in in the first place!

Not sure if it helps, but sometimes emails also just get lost. It sounds ridiculous, but it actually happens (I have no clue how). I had a friend send me an email about something, then immediately send a followup a few minutes later. I got the 2nd email, and the only reason I knew it was #2 was because he referred back to the first one, that never came to me!

Sometimes it helps to think about that when I reach out to someone, that they might have tried to contact me and it got lost in cyberspace... I hope you're able to reach out to him and let him know how you're doing!

[Inner_Firefly]

Growlycat, so sorry and your feelings are valid for sure. When something like that happens with me, in the end it usually turns out there is a glitch or T had something big happen in her life and was too overwhelmed to reply on time. I hope this is the case for you too. Are there any good memories of T's past caring that you can hang on to? It seems like his offering to check in on you is in itself his intention to care about you, though of course you would still feel forgotten when you don't hear from him. Let's hopefully it turns out fine in the end!

[growlycat]

Thanks everyone!!

I took the advice many of you gave me and I reached out to him. I essentially said that I'm not sure if my memory is correct, but I am pretty sure that he offered to touch base with me this week.

He wrote back, concerned that I was up late worrying about this (ugh, curse you gmail time stamp) But no, he did not offer that this week. He's not sure what is prompting this.

I swear that he offered to contact me this week because I left therapy feeling relieved that I didn't have to ask for this. I even wrote in the "Dear T" thread about this.

Is it possible that I misunderstood something he said so much? Or, he is busy and doesn't recall saying this. Or he said something that sounded like offering to call or email.

I hate feeling like he doesn't care and just didn't follow though. I know it is my past making this possibly likelier than the others.

Fighting the urge to cancel my next appt

[stopdog]

I would go with he forgot he said it before I would assume the client was wrong. Was this the cbt guy?

[growlycat]

Yes, SD, this is the CBT guy.

I think he forgot or whatever he was saying was so unclear that I came away with the wrong impression.