[20oney]

Ok.. So pretty much, I started talking to an online counsellor, weekly.. It, so far had been ok.. I don't really have the guts at the moment to see someon face to face. So this is what in trying first..
The first 2 sessions, we're slow, we didn't get anywhere really.. This one today, felt like we started getting somewhere.. As in I finally got to say something's that have been on my mind..
She told me, that at first it's likely, to feel worse before feeling better.. I guess that means we haven't really got anywhere. I feel the same..

Every week though, it seems like a struggle to make it a week without talking.. I just think. All the time, think about what I want to say, how I want the session to go.. All that..
Is that normal?
I just don't really know.. It like I'm just desperately waiting to talk again.. It's really weird for me.. I have absolutely never shared emotions like these with people before !

[Ididitmyway]

Hi 20oney,

It's great that you started somewhere. Can you talk to this therapist more than once a week? Or is this something you can't afford? This should get better with each week as you unload more and more.

[20oney]

Originally Posted by Ididitmyway

Hi 20oney,

It's great that you started somewhere. Can you talk to this therapist more than once a week? Or is this something you can't afford? This should get better with each week as you unload more and more.

She is only available 2 days a week.. and I can only work with one of those days.. I'm sort of worried, what happens if I get sort of attached to having this person around to talk to...

[Ididitmyway]

If you get attached, then you'll get attached. There is nothing you can do about it. Will the attachment be for better or for worse? I don't know. But it's better to risk whatever this attachment may bring than to stay alone and isolated without any help. Basically, all we do throughout our life is taking the risk of getting hurt in relationships. But that doesn't stop us from continuing to get attached to people because this is just a human condition..

[buggles]

Originally Posted by 20oney

Ok.. So pretty much, I started talking to an online counsellor, weekly.. It, so far had been ok.. I don't really have the guts at the moment to see someon face to face. So this is what in trying first..
The first 2 sessions, we're slow, we didn't get anywhere really.. This one today, felt like we started getting somewhere.. As in I finally got to say something's that have been on my mind..
She told me, that at first it's likely, to feel worse before feeling better.. I guess that means we haven't really got anywhere. I feel the same..

Every week though, it seems like a struggle to make it a week without talking.. I just think. All the time, think about what I want to say, how I want the session to go.. All that..
Is that normal?
I just don't really know.. It like I'm just desperately waiting to talk again.. It's really weird for me.. I have absolutely never shared emotions like these with people before !

20oney. I started with a therapist 2 years ago and before our second scheduled session i was on the phone trying to get a sooner appointment. I had so much to unload that i just felt i couldn't wait any longer to pick up where we had left off. For the first time i really felt i was able to share some things that were bothering me. And i am still going. I STILL find it hard to share my emotions and feelings. I have serious trust issues. For me, i would rather do it online or via message or whatever because i want to hide if i can, BUT the other part of me needs to see her reactions and body language because that is how i develop trust. I like that sometimes we can just sit and connect without saying anything. I really need that, especially at the moment.

So i am sure your feelings are normal, especially if its been hard for you to trust in the past. Well done for starting on this journey.