[ScarletPimpernel]

Today is the first session in months that I didn't cry!!! And what's funny, I'm actually really depressed right now. But the depression is actually welcomed after 2 months of extreme anxiety.

She did almost make me cry though. She tried to get me to talk about my Pdoc. I kept trying to dodge her questions. She felt victorious because she was able to get me to talk a little bit about it.

My T agrees with me now: this DBT group is a joke. I'm not going to get much out of it. So she finally gave me permission to use my DBT workbook. She told me to do the sections in the workbook that correlate to the group. We agreed that when I can afford it, I will go to a real DBT group run by someone she knows of.

And I think I'm getting my own car Thursday! I'm so nervous because it will be my first car that I actually own. I'm worried about the responsibility and the fiances, but I'm excited for my independence. My T is going to be so excited. This is a major step for me and have been working towards this for 2 years. I quit driving after a traumatic accident (was side-swiped on the freeway during rush hour and the car spun out of control ). Next week will probably be the first time I drive to my T alone...it's a 40min drive! Maybe my fiance will come with me still a few times

[Ellahmae]

Whoopee, yay!

eta: not because of the accident but because this post made me feel happy/good for you!

[JustShakey]

Oh Scarlet! That's awesome news! You won't know yourself with the independence the car will bring

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[guilloche]

Ooh! Congratulations! Did you get the car? You meant today, right, when you said Thursday? I hope it worked out for you, one of the things I'm most grateful for in my life is that I did, eventually, learn to drive - because it IS so helpful to be able to have control over your transportation like that (oh don't laugh, you know what I mean! It's good to be able to go where you want to, when you want to!)

And - glad you had a tear-free session! It must have been a nice break!

[guilloche]

Just an itty bitty bump, because I'm hoping you got your car!

[ScarletPimpernel]

Sorry. Been so busy the last 2 days.... because I got the car!!!! I love it. I called up my fiance yesterday to ask him if I could go to the store. He responded: "You have your own car now. Go wherever you want to". Lol. I'm so used to asking.

I am extremely excited about the car, but it is also causing me a lot of anxiety. I feel overwhelmed by all the papers, numbers, things you have to do. I pretty much have the insurance squared away. Just need to step up bills going to my email. The loan is done. Just need to figure out when and how I pay them. There was an open part recall (?) on my car, so I have to call up about that. And I found a crack on the windshield, so have to figure out that. Then I need my mom to get her stuff out of my garage so I can have my car at my place (it's at my fiance's grandma's house right now). It needs a car wash, and I need a few things for the dogs. Oh, I have to figure out the radio/computer thingy and remove the dealer stickers and license frame.

Everything is minor and will get done, but it feels overwhelming right now. The last 3 days, I have been out of the house for at least 6 hours each day. That in itself is a lot for me to handle. Once things are in order, I'm sure I'll calm down and then really enjoy my freedom. This is such a huge step towards progress for me. I feel like a real adult now, especially since the car is in my name.

Thank you for bumping this and asking. I've didn't really have time for the forums until now. Yesterday I didn't have time fir breakfast or lunch (really bad when you're diabetic and also need foid to take all your meds ). But today I'm taking a break. For the first time in 9 years, my fiance is taking me out to dinner on Valentines. So I'm going to spend the day relaxing, sleeping, and just enjoying the day!

[SnakeCharmer]

Sweetie, please remember to eat! So happy for you. Can't help but think in my own mind that exposure to fears so often equals lessened fears equals more independence. Good work!

[Soccer mom]

Awesome! Perhaps this new found freedom will help your days pass quickly between sessions and keep your mind busy from the things you're working through. So excited for you!

[guilloche]

Awesome! I'm excited for you ScarletPimpernel! Yeah, it's a lot of stress, but just keep plugging away at your list (and take some time out for food, rest, and self-care!) and it'll eventually be done. Seriously, this is great news!

Yay!

[JustShakey]

Yay! I'm so excited for you!