Therapy is not "real life"

I don't think the modality has much to do with it. As with all things therapy, it seems to be about the interaction and relationship with the therapist, regardless of modality.

I would think the cbt part is the idea of taking what one learns and applying it to outside life.

I don't look at it as if I have learned things from the therapist that I go and apply in real life. I don't consider therapists real in my life nor therapy a real sort of thing. It is like theatre of the absurd to me.

I think the relational set up in psychodynamic therapy brings your needs to the surface (when I say you, I mean clients who have these issues). I've found that this is more intense with psychoanalytic-oriented therapists who can use neutrality and blank-state more often. The more neutral they are, the more it's like the parental set-up (for those who had emotionally unavailable and neglectful parents), and you start to project your feelings of your parents onto them. The more blank state, the more you project--even to the point where they can almost 'become' the parent from the past. And in becoming the parent, it draws out the original attachment dynamics and strong, repressed needs. That is the therapeutic material with which to work. I also think being totally blank state can be dangerous to some with trauma histories.

I found the opposite to be true, for reasons outlined above. Sometimes I think people who don't have this reaction with psychodynamic therapists don't have these unfulfilled needs, are highly defended against them, have secure attachments, or other reasons. Either that, or the therapist is more active and less neutral, or a combination of both.

Personally, I repressed my needs for so long as a self-protecting defense against never getting them met by my parents, starting at a very, very young age. A non-therapy relationship brought them out (brought me 'alive'), he was an 'unavailable man' and turned out to abusive, and this brought about a PTSD reaction. I'm guessing this is what happens with CTPSD a lot: a relational trauma or loss brings about repressed ways of relating altogether.

IMO-the problem with repressing needs, for one, is that ability to feel truly loved, joy can be limited or repressed too, leading to inability to self-actualize.

I don't understand. My relationship with T is exactly like my other relationships?? I don't rely on her that much either, I don't believe Ts can remove their personal bias ultimately, just bc they believe they have a role doesn't mean they're not unconsciously trying to meet their own needs.

Frustrated...
What is real? What is life? What is real life? What's not real-life?

Please don't try to explain...just sayin'...

I think he means that therapy is a controlled environment and doesn't reflect the outside world and personal relationships. It's a safe place to discuss anything you want and also learn new coping skills without fear of judgement. That's all, it didn't mean that the caring is fake, just not the same as any other relationship and it's important to remember that.

Perhaps I "use" my therapy differently than a lot of people on this forum. To me the opposite of real is "fake" and I don't see what's particularly fake about my therapy. It is very goal oriented and though we discuss emotions and the past, it's not an attachment based therapy.

To me what is not "real" are the irrational anxieties that had me in knots last year, and sometimes still can. But the thing is, I don't need my therapist to be my mom, my dad, my best friend, my lover. I need her to be my therapist and my doctor.

So maybe I don't see it as artificial as others do because it's a very goal oriented practical therapy. Or maybe it's because I'm a medical practitioner and spend a good portion of my life on the other side of the exam table listening to patient's problems, both emotional and physical, that it doesn't strike me as "not real"