First appointment experiences ?

Hi Everyone, I've made an appointment with a therapist and it's a first!
I was wondering if anyone could share with me the experience you had when making you're very first visit with a therapist. It would really help me out! Thanks

Hi

My first visit was easier than I thought. I was so stressed and anxious I was shaking. She asked me some questions and got a feel for things. I like her and here we are a year later.

Both first appointments I have had have been the same. Mostly housekeeping (policies), a brief overview of why I am there, and then some questions. I found it to be an easy session both times.

My first session was very similar - housekeeping (policies, pricing, scheduling, a bit about him, how he likes to work things, etc), and then he asked what brought me in. It was very gentle, and he did what he could to make it easy to talk to him.

One of the biggest things was my T reinforcing that there are no timelines. I Can open up when I'm ready and talk about what I want to, when I want to, and that while he would challenge me at times, he wouldn't push. This seems pretty common among therapists.

I did this not too long ago! It was much easier than I thought. I filled out forms, T began with what brought me to seek therapy and the conversation flowed from there. T asked general questions and went over policies.

The woman just asked some questions about why I was there and about my family. I had a panic attack. Time ended and I stood up and she asked if I wanted to make another appointment - I said I would call after thinking about it.

I've seen several therapists. First appointments for me tend to go like this:

- Show up early. There's *usually* a clipboard in the waiting room for new clients to fill out paperwork. (You might not have to if they had their paperwork online and you did it in advance). Some therapists have minimal initial paperwork, and some have crazy long forms that will ask you to detail out every distressing incident in your life. If there's anything that you're not comfortable with, you can skip it. If the therapist pushes, you can tell them that you're not comfortable talking about it yet (I find this much better then getting triggered and unable to talk about anything, and gives you a good way to gauge how well a therapist will respect your boundaries).

- The therapist *should* be close to on-time. Some will come out, collect the paperwork, then disappear for a few minutes to review it, but some will take you right back.

- Sometimes it's hard to tell where to sit, depending on how the office is set up. It's ok to ask. Or just pick the most comfy chair if you're feeling brave

- I don't know why, but the therapists I've seen always seem to want to start with the unstructured, "so, what brings you in today?" type questions. So, you might want to think a little ahead of time about how to summarize your situation (or not, if you're not the anxious planning type).

- They'll probably have plenty of background questions for you. At this point, they're trying to get an overview of your issues, your family history, what's going on in your life now, and (I'm guessing here) how you approach things.

- It's 1000% OK to bring in questions for them. There might be things that you'd like to know to help you decide if it's a good fit. Even if there's not, I'd encourage you to ask a few questions to see how they react. It's a good way to see if they can a) answer them without getting defensive, b) poke a little bit for unresolved craziness in the therapist, and c) see how well they can understand and respond to your questions. I'd be worried if I asked questions and the therapist wasn't able to explain things in a way that felt clear to me, or if they were constantly misunderstanding my questions, or going off on long tangents and taking too much time.

Examples:
- One therapist I saw had been recommended to deal with dissociative stuff. I was asking her about "phase oriented treatment", because I was told that I needed that, and had no clue what it was. Her response was, "Hey! I've been a therapist longer than you've been alive... " - wow. I would have been OK if she had just told me she had never heard the term before, and maybe explained how she approached things, but that felt very defensive to me, and like she wasn't going to welcome any questions (which is bad for me, I ask a lot of questions.)

- Different therapist, I told him that I didn't understand therapy, and wanted him to tell me how it worked and what the "rules" were. I really, truly was trying to figure out what I needed to be doing. His response started with, "well first off, I'm not going to sleep with you... " I didn't hear anything else, that completely freaked me out. It felt like it came out of nowhere, and in retrospect, I'm sure he thought he was being *reassuring*, but it really was just plain creepy. Ick.

Last thought, at the end, the therapist will likely ask if you want to schedule another appointment (unless they tell you outright that they don't feel qualified to deal with your problems, I've never seen that happen on a first visit personally though!). It's OK to say that you need to think about it, and will call them. I like that approach, so that I can go home, reflect on the session, and see how I feel. If you feel like it's a great fit, by all means schedule another visit right away. But, it's no big deal if you want some time to think about it.

Good luck! When's your session?

I'm not going to sleep with you!! Yes creepy and crass, not reassuring in any way.

I completely agree with asking questions.
My therapist is the first one I've ever seen and thank god she is professional and has good boundaries (mostly, she's not perfect of course) because when I first saw her, I had no idea what to ask, didn't even want to be there and with someone unprofessional it could have ended very badly.

I think asking the therapist what their credentials are, how they work, what their speciality is, are all important questions. It's a good way to judge whether they become defensive or not.
I was reading "In Session" and the author has a whole chapter about that: clients should be asking questions because after all, they are paying for a service and they should get the best, that fits their needs.

Good luck!

This is one for the record books. Eew.

As for my first appts, I've been doing this a long time so I'm at the point where I mostly listen for stock therapist talk and generic techniques used to get information, which I hate. It's one way I weed them out. I want someone who can have a natural conversation, even in the context of a first appt where she's mostly gathering information and sharing how she works. If she can listen and treat me like an individual and not act like a therapy machine, I will schedule a second appt.

Wow @ "I'm not going to sleep with you."!

I wanted to add that with my T, forms were left in the waiting room for me to fill out. T had told me during our initial conversation to look for the forms. I got there 20 minutes early which gave me plenty of time to fill it out. Once we talked in the session, T put the form on the desk (did not even glance at it) and we started session with "How are you?/What brings you here today?).

As for the sex comment lol....when briefly going over policies, T simply said that if I disclose that I have been physically involved with another T, he will have to report it (this was one of his reasons for breaking confidentiality).

With my first T I hadn´t been in therapy before and I had no certain expectations. I said to the agency I wanted a woman, I think I also told them I wanted someone with quite a long experience of being a T.

I remembered I talked quite much, I was a bit nervous and I didn´t take in the T that much.

Now, I´ve seen several T:s for evaluation and I have different experiences with them all to some extent, in some ways the experiences are the same. Some T:s have used more or less a questionnaire, I personally don´t like that. Some T:s have talked too much in general terms, about issues in society and such things. That didn´t work for me either.

The T:s I liked have been those who let me talk quite freely but at the same time gives me questions to show me they´re interested in what I tell them. Unfortunately I´ve experienced that some T:s try to seem more generous, more available and less biased than they really are. Therapy is sadly also a business.

Thanks for the comments about the "not going to sleep with you" response from past-T. It's good to know that it wasn't just me being crazy to think it was an icky, weird comment!!!

Good luck, TheDepressedArtist! I hope your session goes well!

I hope yours goes well.

My first session was mainly him talking about the process we'd follow, what our aims might be, and how it would work. He essentially set up or explained the methods and reason for them, and then I answered background type questions.

I think the understanding I got was very helpful later.