Update on therapist leaving

My therapist emailed a couple of hours after a tough session, that he has an interview for the position he really wants next week before I see him again.............



There is no reason he wouldn't get it, it is a less senior role than the one he has had now for a number of years(he really only wants this because of the location which has limited positions in his field), he is skilled, all his colleagues speak so highly of him and he is a great psychologist........unless they already have someone and are just going through the motions, although I doubt they would interview him if that were the case.

I'm really going to lose him aren't I? This hurts so much..............

((((((( JaneC ))))))) Is there any way you can see him at this new place? I almost lost my long-term T a couple of years ago and it was horrible.

At the new place? No, without doubt, there is no way I could. If he were to transfer his private practice maybe..........but I'd have to drive 2.5 hours one way to see him. I'd almost do it, for stability, but I don't think he would allow me.....and I couldn't afford it privately.

Oh Jane, I'm really sorry. I wish there was a way to make it easier, or to make him not go! If he gets the job, I'm assuming there will still be some sort of transition period (he won't just up and leave with little to no notice, I hope?).

Any chance he'd be open to doing phone or skype sessions? Would you want something like that? I'm guessing it's a long shot, but since you already have a good relationship established?

Thanks guilloche, the support means a lot. Floundering a bit here.

He will let me know as soon as he does I am sure. And he said that he has to give 4 weeks notice to where he currently works. He also said that he wanted to make sure that before he leaves I know exactly where I am going with therapy, who I will see next etc.........

I've looked in to it, as I'd have to go through a government agency and file a claim and stuff. I'm not sure I can face it. What if they don't believe me, or don't think it is serious enough(I mean logically I know it is. I looked at their criteria. Certain laws have to have been broken to meet the criteria, and in my case....almost all of them were). And having to tell a complete stranger.......be assessed.......ugh. I can barely even talk to my own therapist of longer than 2 years about even a small part of this............

Anyway......as you can see I am rambling and living on what ifs, and freaking out about stuff I can't control right now..

As for the Skype etc. Not sure. And anyway......I can't afford it, unless my therapist would consider registering as an approved provider for this govt agency. And why would he do that for me?

I am sorry to hear he is leaving.

Is it usual that he would text you to let you know he had an interview someplace? That, to me, seems odd. Particularly since he should know it would be stress inducing for you.

He emailed me. We do not, ever, ever, text. We have an agreement, from way before he started looking for other work, that he would always inform me if there were any changes to the possibility of him leaving. It has always been a fear. And since, he has agreed to keep me up to date. He is keeping his word.

That is incredibly important to me. He does know how hard this is, but if he didn't tell me in advance, I would feel even worse. So as odd as it may seem (and I get that) therapeutically he doing the right thing. He is doing what is best for me, even though both options cause pain.

Sorry - I was not super attentive to whether it was text or email. I was more expressing surprise that he would contact you outside of an appointment in any fashion to tell you about an interview rather than meaning to focus on the medium. I would find it more stressful to know such a thing, but if it is good for you - then I am glad to hear he kept his agreement to tell you about it.

Yes, it is a little strange to do it outside an appointment......but my appointment yesterday was a dissociated mess and went over time anyway, which is also not common. He couldn't stop the appointment because it would not have been safe. So I guess he felt it important to contact outside of session.

The stress is bad either way. Feeling he had not kept his word would make it far worse for me......aren't we a funny bunch with how we all react differently to things?

Sorry you are having to face that possibility. I have learned/read that if it does have to end, having as many final sessions as you need is critical.

If you can't do phone or Skype with him, i wonder if he'd allow informal check in via email or phone for a time, to ease the transition.