[JaneTennison1]

I am having a real problem since we've started talking a lot about certain feelings and things that happened in the past. During the week I can feel angry and emotional, play out conversations with my T and even write things down to discuss but as soon as I get into session I shut down.

I answer things yes/no/maybe. Can't discuss in detail. Even reading the emails out it feels like a stranger wrote them and I shrug and don't want to discuss. I emailed about an issue I wanted to talk about, it's hard for me to start on it. We chatted a bit and T asked to come back to it next session. Next session comes around and she's asking me about something else and complimenting how calmly I can discuss it.

I wanted to scream. I am calm because I am not letting myself feel this. It's not a sign of doing better but of hiding it. Finally I bring the topic up AGAIN that I am looking to discuss and she says " Oh yes, I'm sorry you did say you wanted to talk about that well we can now" With TEN MINUTES LEFT

It's a very hard thing just to say at the start please lets talk about this. I have tried asking her to bring it up, emailing her, reminding her and we do not discuss it. Instead she asks me about this other topic that I am sure is relevant but not where my brain is and so I'm not sodding anxious about it right now but this does not mean I have gotten over it.

Sorry for the rant, hope any of it makes sense. I'm so frustrated and now I have to wait another week, I'll fume about it all week and then probably shrug and smile and say nothing come therapy time.

The process is hard!

[ThisWayOut]

I'm sorry you ate struggling with this too. I find myself doing it a lot. I've got no useful tips, but wanted to say I can very much relate.

[dj315]

I could have written what you said myself. Like ThisWayOut said, I don't have any useful tips, but I can relate. I'm in the thick of it now. After almost two years of therapy, it's like a ****storm of emotions was released about a month and a half ago and it's led to so much frustration with both myself and my T. Because like you said, I can't feel or really discuss anything that I feel so strongly during the week actually in the session because it feels ridiculous once I'm sitting in front of my T. And unless I'm over-the-top anxious or exasperated with something, I don't think he picks up that something is eating away at me and seems genuinely surprised when I mention that something has been bothering me. He's not a mind reader, so I guess I should expect that

My T is really good about jumping in with things that are glaring problems, especially if I've emailed him about it, so I'll give him that. I'm sorry that your T isn't catching the hint (or many hints, for that matter) that this topic is really bothering you. I know it's really hard, but maybe just take a deep breath and jump straight into mentioning it yourself at the very beginning? Tell her it's hard for you to discuss but you really, really need to. She should be okay with taking however long it takes to get it out, whether it's in one session or a couple--It's kind of her job

Good luck! I hope things go better next week. It's hard to be patient though--I know.

[InRealLife45]

Originally Posted by JaneTennison1

I am having a real problem since we've started talking a lot about certain feelings and things that happened in the past. During the week I can feel angry and emotional, play out conversations with my T and even write things down to discuss but as soon as I get into session I shut down.

I answer things yes/no/maybe. Can't discuss in detail. Even reading the emails out it feels like a stranger wrote them and I shrug and don't want to discuss. I emailed about an issue I wanted to talk about, it's hard for me to start on it. We chatted a bit and T asked to come back to it next session. Next session comes around and she's asking me about something else and complimenting how calmly I can discuss it.

I wanted to scream. I am calm because I am not letting myself feel this. It's not a sign of doing better but of hiding it. Finally I bring the topic up AGAIN that I am looking to discuss and she says " Oh yes, I'm sorry you did say you wanted to talk about that well we can now" With TEN MINUTES LEFT

It's a very hard thing just to say at the start please lets talk about this. I have tried asking her to bring it up, emailing her, reminding her and we do not discuss it. Instead she asks me about this other topic that I am sure is relevant but not where my brain is and so I'm not sodding anxious about it right now but this does not mean I have gotten over it.

Sorry for the rant, hope any of it makes sense. I'm so frustrated and now I have to wait another week, I'll fume about it all week and then probably shrug and smile and say nothing come therapy time.

my t does this too. absolutely no follow through on topics we agree to discuss "next time." she offers no structure, no guidance. its like asking a 2 year old what he wants to do every day, and going with that, and if he cant think of anything you just do nothing. i really think a t who offers more structure would be best.

or just accept that your t is unwilling to "accept responsibility" for the topic in session- something mine has refused saying its not her job-- and figure out ways to structure it yourself.

something ive tried to make communicating easier is to record myself reading whatever it is id like to share with my T. much simpler to press play on a recording and while its playing its easier to reconnect with the emotion you had when you made it. also you can do it at the start of session rather than waiting 45 minutes to build the courage to do it at the end.

(i use my ipod for this). hope it helps.

many people are like that when they start therapy... it really does take time to open up in therapy, but you will, and your therapist will be fully aware of this.

[Chummy]

I was like this in all my therapies. I only started expressing my feelings more when I started therapy with my current therapist. It got easier to talk about things because she was good. She asked the right questions. I'm still having trouble expressing my feelings. I get quiet a lot. I think a lot before I answer or tell something.

[LindaLu]

Originally Posted by JaneTennison1

It's a very hard thing just to say at the start please lets talk about this. I have tried asking her to bring it up, emailing her, reminding her and we do not discuss it. Instead she asks me about this other topic that I am sure is relevant but not where my brain is and so I'm not sodding anxious about it right now but this does not mean I have gotten over it.

Jane, I sooo get this. I wonder if there is some devious training in clinical psych programs that teaches Ts to be like that. Its super annoying. Ive gotten pretty firm and said, I told you last time we need to close this loop and this needs to happen now. Its annoying to leave it up to the C...really the T should inquire about the previously announced topic, not let a session wander until last 10 minutes. Grrr. Sorry youre having that experience.

[JaneTennison1]

Originally Posted by 8888an8888

many people are like that when they start therapy... it really does take time to open up in therapy, but you will, and your therapist will be fully aware of this.

I've been in therapy for about 16 months. We spent a while dealing with the facts of what happened but the feelings are much more complex.

[JaneTennison1]

Originally Posted by LindaLu

Jane, I sooo get this. I wonder if there is some devious training in clinical psych programs that teaches Ts to be like that. Its super annoying. Ive gotten pretty firm and said, I told you last time we need to close this loop and this needs to happen now. Its annoying to leave it up to the C...really the T should inquire about the previously announced topic, not let a session wander until last 10 minutes. Grrr. Sorry youre having that experience.

Exactly. It drives me crazy. She keeps bringing up topic A and then using the fact I don't lose my mind as evidence I'm doing well. I am not doing well. I'm devestated and angry and I have told her as much but she just never explores those topics.

[JaneTennison1]

Thank you everyone. I appreciate the support. I emailed my T and of course she didn't respond because therapy is for during therapy and not email but in some ways it just frustrates me further because I just want to be heard. I'm sure it will all be sorted on Thursday I just can't survive until then.