[rainbow8]

I'm trying to figure it out but not too much. Don't want to spoil it! Friends and family write or say the word "love" to me but T signing her email "Love, T" satisfies me in a different way. It must be the transference, I assume. Her love makes me feel safe and comfy, like a Mom's love should be. Like the love in my poem, The Blanket of Love, and the love I feel when T holds my hand. In my last session I told T I wished she would write "Love, T" instead of "sending love" but I didn't think she actually would do it! Seeing that satisfies me and I don't to email her again right now.

It's so weird how much that word, coming from my T, means to me, especially since I did have a Mom who loved me. For some reason I grew up craving that love anyway. For now, I'm satisfied with seeing it in T's email to me. I know I'm repeating myself, but I have to in order to know it's real. T is changing not only my neural pathways but my heart! Like when actress Sally Field said at the academy awards when she won years ago, almost in disbelief: "You like me. You really like me!" I feel like saying to my T: "You love me. You really love me!"
( I know the limits and the kind of love it is but that's okay!) I'm content with the therapeutic relationship and that's huge for me.

[Inner_Firefly]

That is so wonderful and beautiful! Thank you for sharing! Your T sounds like a very good T. I am happy for you.

Just my opinion - It all produces the same hormone, oxytocin...I hear you wanting to say it to your therapist over and over. I think eventually you will be able to say it to the child in you, and that will be enough. The catalyst that your therapist has planted inside you, the love that we didn't feel from our parents — they loved us the best they could — will eventually be the love from the adult you that you can give the little girl inside you. The little girl is finally starting to be filled up (by your therapist for the moment).

I know some people don't like to speak about the inner child, but I could not explain it any other way.

It's been a joy to watch you evolve. Happy journeying!

[Crescent Moon]

I know exactly what you're talking about - and it is a beautiful and precious thing.

I wish my t would say that. She never would though.

[rainbow8]

Originally Posted by Inner_Firefly

That is so wonderful and beautiful! Thank you for sharing! Your T sounds like a very good T. I am happy for you.

Thank you! Yes, I have a T who works well with me.

Originally Posted by therapyworked4me

Just my opinion - It all produces the same hormone, oxytocin...I hear you wanting to say it to your therapist over and over. I think eventually you will be able to say it to the child in you, and that will be enough. The catalyst that your therapist has planted inside you, the love that we didn't feel from our parents — they loved us the best they could — will eventually be the love from the adult you that you can give the little girl inside you. The little girl is finally starting to be filled up (by your therapist for the moment).

I know some people don't like to speak about the inner child, but I could not explain it any other way.

It's been a joy to watch you evolve. Happy journeying!

I appreciate your words very much, and I'm so glad you're back so you can observe my progress.I've read about oxytocin and I agree with you. I also agree that the little girl inside of me is getting the love she needed. Or starting to. I am so grateful to my T. No other T dared to express love to me!

Originally Posted by Crescent Moon

I know exactly what you're talking about - and it is a beautiful and precious thing.

Yes, it is amazing, and I'm so glad you've felt it too. It must be what an infant feels when it bonds correctly with its mother. I still feel satisfied, just thinking about what T wrote. I emailed her that I feel a warm, protective coating all over me. I know that sounds weird!

Originally Posted by 8888an8888

I wish my t would say that. She never would though.

I'm sorry your T wouldn't say it to you. Are you sure? My T didn't for 5 years, but she showed me how much she cares in other ways. I don't mean to make anyone jealous. I never thought my T would say "love". You never know!

[Partless]

Yeah, what a T says or does or not say or do, those are so powerful. Especially in certain stages in therapy. I have at times gotten mad at a T for something that in retrospect was no big deal at all. But at the time every word, every gesture, everything meant so much. To tell someone, a true stranger, deep secrets, to expose your vulnerabilities, and yet to be accepted and liked and valued, it's exceptionally powerful.