[InRealLife45]

So, my therapist just suggested that my issues run too deep to ever successfully treat clients. That under times of stress (finals, assignments due) it will become apparent to my professors, and maybe I should look into becoming a lifecoach, because they have no governing board, and it only costs $2000 for training versus $50,000 for a masters program.

And that I will run into difficulty repeatedly in finding a practicum placement (not to mention a job) with my criminal record. (Hit and run, petty theft)

That when she was a Professor and a student was unplaceable for reasons of personality/bad interviews, the students got placed at the schools mental health center bc no one else would hire them, and that I might face a similar reality, because if there are 50 other applicants and none of them have a criminal record, why would they hire me?

(She doesn't know I'm in school, and that I have the highest grade in all my classes) I didn't tell her bc she says things like this to me that are very disheartening. She's been discouraging me from going to get my masters for a year and a half, suggesting I get a job where I do paperwork so that I don't have to interact with people bc I have "personality issues." But other people in my real life don't see me like that.

I feel really discouraged and like dropping out of my program.

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[bounceback]

You can do whatever you want. Don't let her stop you from your dreams. I don't know why you stay with her. She sounds very critical and you can't be honest with her. A true therapist might try and tell you to wait until you are doing better or tell you the pros and cons about the job but I never heard of one talking to someone like yours does.

I am sorry she said this to you.

[LonesomeTonight]

That's discouraging...Do you have an academic advisor at school who you could talk to? How recent were your criminal charges? I see you're in Canada, so I'm not sure how criminal stuff works there. I know in the US at least the petty theft would be a misdemeanor, and jobs tend to ask about felonies rather than misdemeanors. For the hit and run, I assume it depends on the circumstances, like if anyone was injured, etc. (I have a DWI on my record--got pulled over, didn't hit anyone or anything--but I got probation before judgement and went through probation without problems, so I haven't formally been convicted of a crime).

But I'd see if there's someone in your program that you could talk to. Or maybe your university's career center.

[ragsnfeathers]

Originally Posted by InRealLife45

So, my therapist just suggested that my issues run too deep to ever successfully treat clients. That under times of stress (finals, assignments due) it will become apparent to my professors, and maybe I should look into becoming a lifecoach, because they have no governing board, and it only costs $2000 for training versus $50,000 for a masters program.

And that I will run into difficulty repeatedly in finding a practicum placement (not to mention a job) with my criminal record. (Hit and run, petty theft)

That when she was a Professor and a student was unplaceable for reasons of personality/bad interviews, the students got placed at the schools mental health center bc no one else would hire them, and that I might face a similar reality, because if there are 50 other applicants and none of them have a criminal record, why would they hire me?

(She doesn't know I'm in school, and that I have the highest grade in all my classes) I didn't tell her bc she says things like this to me that are very disheartening. She's been discouraging me from going to get my masters for a year and a half, suggesting I get a job where I do paperwork so that I don't have to interact with people bc I have "personality issues." But other people in my real life don't see me like that.

I feel really discouraged and like dropping out of my program.

Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk

So she thinks you wouldn't be good working with people but she advises you to become a life coach? Seems kind of odd.

Do you think she's helping you in other areas? I'm wondering how useful she still is if she has no faith in your ability to do what you really want to do and what other people seem to think you can do.

One thing that she said that I'd heed is, it would be a good idea to find out from the school how your history is going to affect internship placements and employment prospects.

[Nammu]

I fire her and find a different T who is more supportive, especially as you are already in a program and doing well. A different T might try to help you achieve your dreams not tell you to give up your dreams. Personality problems can be worked on and overcome in therapy.

[InRealLife45]

Originally Posted by ragsnfeathers

So she thinks you wouldn't be good working with people but she advises you to become a life coach? Seems kind of odd.

Do you think she's helping you in other areas? I'm wondering how useful she still is if she has no faith in your ability to do what you really want to do and what other people seem to think you can do.

One thing that she said that I'd heed is, it would be a good idea to find out from the school how your history is going to affect internship placements and employment prospects.

I called the licensing board already, they said its no big deal, theyre only looking for violent/sexual crimes.

But in regards to placement/job it is up to the individual places where I apply how they would feel about hiring someone with two misdemeanors on their record. Common sense dictates that they would prefer the candidate with a clean record, so I'll likely lose out on my first second third fourth etc choices, but theres still a chance that SOMEONE would hire me, however slim.

It probably would be a good idea to see an academic advisor about the effect of your criminal record on your future prospects. That does seem like an important aspect to look into.

[SkyscraperMeow]

I'm sure there's an answer to this, but why are you seeing this person still ?

Sounds like she invalidates you, is trying to condemn you to a life defined by the parameters of the mental illness she's decided you have and believes that your past criminal activity will be some impediment to being a successful professional ever.

I don't understand why you'd expose yourself to this toxiticy, let alone pay for it. Is there some way you can find a better therapist?

It's interesting that you say you are in the program, (meaning you were accepted into it) and you are getting top grades, and yet you're considering dropping out on the sayso of this person? Why?

[rainbow8]

If you were a T, would you treat clients the way your T treats you? If a friend told you the things you post about your T, what would you tell her? I think you can become a good T, but you need a good T first.

[Favorite Jeans]

Originally Posted by InRealLife45

So, my therapist just suggested that my issues run too deep to ever successfully treat clients. That under times of stress (finals, assignments due) it will become apparent to my professors, and maybe I should look into becoming a lifecoach, because they have no governing board, and it only costs $2000 for training versus $50,000 for a masters program.

And that I will run into difficulty repeatedly in finding a practicum placement (not to mention a job) with my criminal record. (Hit and run, petty theft)

That when she was a Professor and a student was unplaceable for reasons of personality/bad interviews, the students got placed at the schools mental health center bc no one else would hire them, and that I might face a similar reality, because if there are 50 other applicants and none of them have a criminal record, why would they hire me?

(She doesn't know I'm in school, and that I have the highest grade in all my classes) I didn't tell her bc she says things like this to me that are very disheartening. She's been discouraging me from going to get my masters for a year and a half, suggesting I get a job where I do paperwork so that I don't have to interact with people bc I have "personality issues." But other people in my real life don't see me like that.

I feel really discouraged and like dropping out of my program.

Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk

Remind us why you continue to see this woman?

You need to figure out what keeps you going back there. She sounds mean and unhelpful.

[clairelisbeth]

Why on earth do you continue to pay this a**hole to abuse you and put you down? You deserve so much better. A truly compassionate and supportive therapist can only serve to better help make you the therapist that you are capable of becoming.

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[unaluna]

Ha - shes pretty brave, talking like that to someone with a criminal record. Wait until there isnt a big bulletproof shield between you two...

Shes an idiot. Shes lost her way on this. Its not her place to make pronouncements. You are someone with real life experience

[Ad Intra]

Clients have the right to choose what best for their life, bottom line.

[scorpiosis37]

As some others have pointed out, I think you need to figure out why you're choosing to continue in this unhealthy relationship with your T. You have even said in previous threads that it's dysfunctional. It must be speaking to or re-enacting some kind of pattern from your childhood or other unresolved issues? I think this is probably something you need to resolve before taking on your own clients.

[Petra5ed]

She doesn't sound like a good fit for you as a therapist.

[JustShakey]

I think she's hit a new low IRL. Don't let her opinion get in the way of your dreams. More people that you might realize have criminal records. It may take a little extra work to get where you want to go, but what's a little extra work after making it through the criminal justice system in one piece.

[JaneTennison1]

I thought you said as of November this woman wouldn't be your T anymore? I know you are having a difficult time parting ways, but really who needs enemies with "helpers" like her.

I know that feeling. An old T of mine told me I shouldn't be a T myself, and had the nerve to suggest I be a clerk at an information desk if I wanted a job to "help people". After all, why help people through some of the most difficult emotional times of their lives when I can tell you a store's bathrooms are in the front-right corner?

This was in my second session on top of that. I quit him after the session.

Sorry for venting on your thread, but you know how hearing these things is very frustrating.

[LonesomeTonight]

You also might be able to relate to some clients better because of your background. And they might trust you more if you've "been there."

[growlycat]

I hope you ask other professionals and your professors for their opinions too. You are putting way too much stock in what your therapist is telling you. Balance it w/other opinions.

Look at it this way---your current T NEEDS to believe that your "problems are too deep". Otherwise, what does it say about her as a therapist? It is easier for her to see you as a hopeless case than to examine her own shortcomings.

Follow your dreams.

[feralkittymom]

I think the hit and run incident will be looked at long and hard, unless you were a teen when it occurred. Why--because it is an example of when fear/panic/whatever overrode an instinct to show empathy and compassion. In most careers, it wouldn't be so weighted, but empathy and compassion are believed to be integral qualities for a therapist, and ones which many believe cannot be "learned" through training.

Excelling academically and being successful in the career are very different things. The former is a good basis for the latter, but it isn't an equivalency, in any career.

Why you stay with this T who appears to be incompetent, why you choose to be so enmeshed with her, why you seem to have an attraction to inflicting punishment and seeking revenge (based on your threads) rather than walking away from such conflict is a lot to figure out and change before you'd be able to treat others safely. It's not her decision to make and her comments are typically out of line, but it is a decision that bears serious consideration.

[Depletion]

Hi IRL, I'm going to be real with you for a second. I've followed your posts here on and off, and I don't think that there's any denying that you have personality issues (but so do I). And the reality of the situation is that you will not be a good therapist if you don't get these issues resolved to a certain extent. But most importantly you won't get those issues really resolved unless you find a therapist that you can have a healthy relationship with. I'm speaking from personal experience here. I have seen a lot of T's and it wasn't until I found the one that I have now that I've started to see some of my personality issues really reduce. She is very caring and supportive, and even though we fight sometimes we always have healthy resolutions which lead to progress in the therapy.

The other thing that I want to say to you is that a lot the T's who hurt me, and delayed my getting better for many years, were people who clearly were not healthy enough to be treating clients. You may hurt the people who you intend to help if you do not find a new T who can truly help you get better. If it is in part your issues that are making it hard to leave your current T then I suggest that you reach out for support to people around you, perhaps in your program. I believe that you are in a toxic therapy relationship that could ruin your whole career. And there is no way you can be a good T if you don't have a good example. Please understand that I'm just saying all this because I want you to get well, and to be able to help people in away that is going to be beneficial to both parties.

[InRealLife45]

Originally Posted by feralkittymom

I think the hit and run incident will be looked at long and hard, unless you were a teen when it occurred. Why--because it is an example of when fear/panic/whatever overrode an instinct to show empathy and compassion. In most careers, it wouldn't be so weighted, but empathy and compassion are believed to be integral qualities for a therapist, and ones which many believe cannot be "learned" through training.

Excelling academically and being successful in the career are very different things. The former is a good basis for the latter, but it isn't an equivalency, in any career.

Why you stay with this T who appears to be incompetent, why you choose to be so enmeshed with her, why you seem to have an attraction to inflicting punishment and seeking revenge (based on your threads) rather than walking away from such conflict is a lot to figure out and change before you'd be able to treat others safely. It's not her decision to make and her comments are typically out of line, but it is a decision that bears serious consideration.

Well, I guess I'll find out eventually how long and hard they're gonna look at it, but when I called they said it wasn't a big deal unless I hurt someone and I didn't, just a minor fender bender. ::shrug::

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[feralkittymom]

When you said "hit and run" I assumed you were referring to a person. A fender bender is a "leaving the scene of an accident" scenario and not nearly the same magnitude.

[growlycat]

I thought the same thing. I thought a hit and run meant running over a person sans vehicle.