Yes, it's true, ha ha. A devout follower of analysis, I am. But I need to take some drastic measures to control my impulsive spending. I told T that I need to do something drastic to change my behavior. He said that in the meantime we can still analyze why I am doing the spending. I told my T: "Do something cognitive to make me stop shopping!" So he goes, "Okay. STOP SHOPPING!!" I said, "Are you serious?" And he said, "That's about as CBT as I can get." And I said, "Yeah. Me too."

I am about to decrease my full-time work schedule to part-time because of my internship. You would imagine I would be able to think of the consequences and stop spending. But no. T talks about how I don't have control over it and the 'safety' of impulsive spending vs. my other impulsive behaviors like SI and crazy driving. I tell him, "Thanks for encouraging it. Yell at me! Make me stop! Do something!!" But he's right. He's just pointing out what's true.

Help.

I was thinking of adding up a budget of what I will need for each week, putting that money in my wallet, and leaving my debit and credit cards at home.

I neeeeeed some CBT or something. Any drastic measures will be welcomed. Any ideas? Anyone cure an impulsive spending problem?

[SecretGarden]

Sorry my friend. Cut up your charge cards. Works like a champ... for the most part. Painful but effective.

I still have an ebay thing sometimes but maybe the internet (boards) have taken up some of my need for that. I really do not know... but having no credit cards REALLY assisted with that. Any purchases are from my debit card or checks. That helps to limit it. I also do my checking ... bill pay on the internet..so I know what I have going out pretty much and what (pittance) there is left. Having a husband and an additional income to pay bills....you are fortunate.

I would like to know more of the connections and need. I think that part of my gig was in the aquistion .... not necessarily what I would do when I got it. Note the IT applies to pretty much anything.

I also eat too much... but hey...planning a trip to the grocery store shortly...lol Steamed shrimp sounds good for dinner.

I think I need to go a step further and only carry cash-- leave my debit card home... Because whenever I want something, I just whip out the debit. Maybe this will help me learn how to manage with what I have. Hopefully learn to budget, and wouldn't want to be left with nothing in my wallet in case of an emergency. My credit cards are maxed out at this point.

[MissCharlotte]

Yes, cut up the cards AND leave the debit card home. When you make your budget, add 10% for those things you forgot and leave a little extra cash for some goodies, so you don't feel like you are totally denying and punishing yourself. Good luck! Been there, done that.

I just did it. I cut them up. All except 2. I am going to keep those 2 at home though. Maybe one day I will be able to carry them when I can control myself and use them properly. And of course I didn't cut up my debit card, but I am going to take out what I need for each week, and leave it at home. I put all the cut up cards in a ziplock bag and I will keep it as a reminder.

[withit]

Way to go, Pinksoil! With your determination and perseverance you will go far....

[(JD)]

Reframing is always good

How about telling yourself that you are experimenting with reduced income? (This is so you don't feel like it is a permanent thing...that can make you feel trapped and out of control) Your new (good) efforts are to see how "cheaply" you can live for "this day" "this week" and to find out what you really enjoy rather than feverishly spending out of a stress reaction?

You know this is a good thing. You know you will feel more in control once you succeed. You know that this way you will have money for the things you really want to buy in the future.

GOOD WISHES!

[tangerine]

Hiya,
When I was first learning to budget I would get gift certificates for everything that I had budgeted for the week- groceries, cloths, entertainment ect. Then I would take out a small amount in emergency and spending cash. Then I would turn my debit and credit card over to my boyfriend. It may seem extreme and time consuming but it made me accountable to someone, forced me to stick to a budget and gave me time to work on the issues that were causing me to overspend.

It's taken a while, but I can now pull out more cash during the week ( and have some left over at the end of the week - yeah ) I'm also thinking about regaining "control" of my debit card- at least for a couple of trial weeks.

Best of luck, it can be a hard thing to stop compusive spending, but I believe that you can do it!

[sunrise]

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_Sky said:
You know that this way you will have money for the things you really want to buy in the future.

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Like 2 therapy sessions per week!

[Christina86]

((((((((pinksoil))))))))))))

My way of curing the urge to spend money ... I make sure I go shopping with my friends whenever possible. They know I'm bad at impulsive spending, so they tell me - you're only allowed to spend this much, or DONT BUY THAT. And I get severely po'ed when it's something that I want, but then I think about it later and ask myself if I really NEED it.

Seperating the WANT from NEED is important in my books.

Or you could always shop around for the best prices for stuff you "want". You'd get so tired looking for the best deal, you might wind up quitting looking and not buy the item at all.

Good for you for cutting up most of your credit cards. I can't get a credit card for the very reason that I can't budget if my life depended on it!

Do you experience any sort of emotional "high" when you buy something? Can you try to find some other activity that isn't destructive to you or your bank account?

Good luck. I'm just glad that when my money is gone ... it's gone. No credit, yay.

[(JD)]

Please think twice before closing any credit card accounts. Your credit is based upon how much available credit you have, how much you owe, and how long you've had the credit account. Cutting up the cards without closing the accounts is good, imo. But if you simply must close some, pick the latest ones open, keeping the ones you have had the longest.

(Credit is based upon your available credit versus how much you owe. If you close an account that you owe nothing on, your credit takes a tumble....because they use a ratio. The only time having too much available (unused) credit will hurt your credit score is if it far exceeds your annual income. Just thought you'd wanna know )

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_Sky said:
Please think twice before closing any credit card accounts. Your credit is based upon how much available credit you have, how much you owe, and how long you've had the credit account. Cutting up the cards without closing the accounts is good, imo. But if you simply must close some, pick the latest ones open, keeping the ones you have had the longest.

(Credit is based upon your available credit versus how much you owe. If you close an account that you owe nothing on, your credit takes a tumble....because they use a ratio. The only time having too much available (unused) credit will hurt your credit score is if it far exceeds your annual income. Just thought you'd wanna know )

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Thanks so much for explaning, Sky. And also, thank you for the reframing. We studied reframing 2 semesters ago in school, but I'm not very good at using it on myself.

I still have a ways to go before I pay off any of the cards I cut up. I will make monthly payments for awhile before I can think about closing out the accounts.

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canders7 said:

Do you experience any sort of emotional "high" when you buy something?

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Thanks to EVERYONE for responding. Your ideas were wonderful. Maybe CBT isn't so bad.... for some things!!

After I cut up the cards, I went upstairs and gathered 3 pieces of clothing from last week's impulsive spree and returned them. I looked at the things I bought and realized that I didn't even like them so much--I had purchased them with the emotional 'high' that Canders asked about.

This is going to be hard, but I need to do something drastic. It's basically do or die-- I will only be working only 21 hours per week now. I need to get my *** on track.

[(JD)]

Good idea about not closing accounts you owe on... for more reasons than this: they can demand full payment!

Good for you for returning the stuff! I hate having to do that, but recently with the dog food poisoning, I was taking bags of dog food that the dog wouldn't eat (in trying to find something new) back almost daily!

BTW have you called and asked for better interest rates on the cards with balances?