It's like my t has forgotten about my feelings for her

Hi Shakey, sorry you are having such a rough time lately and I am glad that your t has been tgere to support you. Having been a willing participant in abusive relationships I know how hard it wad for me to leave at the time. It takes a lot of courage to walk away.
I am sorry but I think you are handing too much power over to the t when you say " I owe my getting out to my t" . Yes, I am sure she supported you and encouraged you to leave but YOU lefy not her. I hope you can give yourself that credit because a t only helps you making your own decisions.
In relation to my own t, I am still uncomfortable in calling our relationship abusive.

Thanks for that I think if I start to view my relationship with t like that if could help me too. I know why I am so attached to her is because I have no outside support or attachments. She means too much to me.
We actually never review our goals or my progress. T just keeps a mental note of how I am doing and sometimes she reminds me how well I am doing. She has had a pivotal role of my integration I this year. It's hard for me to leave because I have so much work to do with her. I know her response was far from ideal and her forgetting is bizarre but I am sure that she knows what she is doing and I need to trust that.

He'd agree with you there - he keeps telling me things like that. It's complicated though. There's a whole set of unfortunate circumstances that ultimately led to me leaving, and a whole set of poor choices on my part that led to those circumstances in the first place. T (and others) have told me that I am to be commended for dealing with those situations as I did. I see it more as cleaning up a huge mess of my own making. What else am I supposed to do as a responsible adult? I don't want to have to be all grown up and responsible (I was a parentified child), but there is no other viable choice. So maybe that's why I give that power to my T. I want that little piece of childishness for now. At least it's safer to do something like that with my T than with an abusive spouse.

It is safer with t and it's normal to want to be taken care of by somebody and especially someone safe.
You are incredibly strong shaky. It might not feel like it but you are and it took guts to leave an abusive relationship. You took back your power and did what's best for you.
Only you know the time that's right to do it. I am getting better at removing myself from abusive situations. My t takes a lot of risks and in many ways she reminds me of that character in the film Anger Management. Dr ruddy or something, Jack Nickelson plays the therapist part and at first you think this guy is completely crazy but then you see he is doing everything for the good of his clients. T is a little crazy and most of the time I have no idea what she is doing but if you sit back and let it happen it works.

Maybe developing outside support is a good goal to work on. That was actually one of my goals, developing friendships! So far so good 😊

It's my major goal actually. I was never great socially and over a decade of subtle isolation tactics certainly didn't do me any favors. I figure when I'm able to have relatively anxiety-free social interactions again I won't need therapy anymore. Or I'll be close to not needing it anymore...

It's been a long difficult journey that I am still working on. I have improved so much though. I find it hard to believe how bad it was five years ago. Well worth the struggle, the pain and the embarrassment. Now trying to prepare myself to start dating again. That should be terrifying!

Dating! ARGHHHHHHH! hides