Deciding what to talk about

In the days following therapy I usually have many lightbulb moments and make connections that I think will be necessary to talk about in my next session. Sometimes i write them in my journal and sometimes i don't. I often forget them! However, by the time it comes to my next session, the topics either are forgotten or they just don't seem so important anymore. So here I am, therapy is tomorrow and I have no idea what I want to talk about, or I have 3 ideas and they all seem equally important or unimportant. The last few weeks I have gotten to therapy a couple of minutes early so that I had time to sit in the waiting room (which is always quiet) and close my eyes and meditate just for a minute or two so I can relax and then see what comes to mind. It feels like this may be just as valid a method as any topic that I have written down.

How do you all decide?

hiya....

Well.... all the things that you said... You are right on. I do start percolating the day or three before session and similar to a prayer... lol.... that is a meditation of sorts too ..yes? in making a list of what needs to be looked at and dealt with and free associate what I might like to persue that I have not.

Also, sometimes I go in and ask my T if there is any place particular he would like to go today... and still again..sometimes once started or even just once in the room my emotions and thoughts ...and he evokes different things that just seem to spew forth.

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sister said:
How do you all decide?

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I don't! There are times in which I want to tell him something specific, but that doesn't mean we are going to talk about it. For example, I feel like it is important for him to know that I did some SI, but that doesn't necessarily mean we are going to talk about it. Being all analytically obsessed, I now go to therapy with the pretense that whatever is ready to come out, will. I often bring my journal with me, but not often with the idea that I'm going to read something specific. I believe in the effect of the therapeutic situation on what I talk about. I don't think I could decide beforehand because I rely on the environment of actually being with T to steer me where I want to go. I told him 3 sessions ago, that I SI'ed. We acknowledged it, and also acknowledged that although I have told him about my SI many times, we have never talked about it in depth. T said that it's okay-- it's just not ready to come out yet.

When there are times in which I feel at a loss, I say to T, "So. What do you want to talk about today?"

Sometimes I give him "homework" at the end of a session. This is because things always get particularly intense at the end. His homework is to remember what we were talking about and bring it up again at the beginning of the next session, so we can continue with that. He always remembers.

My T asks me to 'begin where you are' and whatever comes out we begin with. It leads to many interesting places and she makes associations that can lead to more interesting places. The hour flies by.

ECHOES

Echoes... That is interesting. I might observe that where I am might just become apparent once I am in there as that is where is a safer more relaxed place.... so that may come out while I am there but it might take some time to come out.... depending...

Was that obtuse enough..lol?

I often have something I want to talk about, or several things. The most important thing seems to rise to the top during the week between sessions. Often things that I thought I wanted to talk about at the beginning of the in between time since less important as the session approaches. Sometimes I stick to what I identified as most important in the session. Sometimes I am not sure what to start with, but T trusts in the process for me to bring up what is most important for me to talk about. Sometimes to begin the session, I don't have a direction or the direction I have chosen is hard to get started on. T is very patient and just has me sit there until I am ready to bring up what I need to. He doesn't pressure me or babble and distract me. He says just give it time, and it will come, let it come. And eventually it does come and I can start. Sometimes what comes up surprises me, but it is never the wrong thing.

I journal a lot between t sessions and usually something will stick out of the journals and we will start there. I am not very good at verbalizing and do much better on paper so it is much easier to get going from a journal. Maybe I will "graduate" into being able to spontaniously starting my session.

BB

Hi Sister,

Sometimes this happens with me, as well. I sometimes write during the day I am going to see the T when this is happening, and then something generally comes forward. At least with me, when this happens, I think I am having a hard time and am scared about talking about things in therapy. When I write things down on paper, I think it seems a little safer and things come forward. I give the paper to the T and then we can start from there. He prefers I talk aloud, but sometimes he'll be willing to take a piece of paper. I doubt that other people have these sorts of experiences, but anyway, I think that happens with me.

Take care,
ErinBear