[stopdog]

An attempt at a positive thread about therapists/therapy. Please try to give the not awful parts of therapy/therapists you might find.

I shall start:
The first one stays back and I can write and tell her about some things without her trying to interfere or getting all smothery because I just want to tell someone who is not involved and who won't get all upset or make horrible attempts to be comforting at me and usually she will not talk or write back and screw it up.

The second one explains or at least attempts to explain what the point of what she is doing (and sometimes what the point of what the first one tried).

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

Quite, with your T you can talk about all the things that you cannot with friends and family, who does not judge, who is sympathetic but helps you understand where feelings and moods come from, why there are understandable reasons why you might feel the way you do, kindly points out where you thinking is unhelpful, who points the way to how things might be different, and who helps you overcome difficulties - because it is very hard to recover on your own, no matter how much you want to and how hard you try.

[ThisWayOut]

In general, T is a more safe place to bring all the "ugly" and be able to work through it with minimal judgement... I say generally because all of the recent switching of therapists has minimized that sense of comfort.
T is also a "neutral third party" that can provide better reality checks about things. She's not emotionally involved (or not as much so) as my family or friends. In theory, she listens and hears me rather than just trying to solve problems.

[gayleggg]

I like my visits with mine because I can depend on him helping me see things in a more logical way. And he helps me stay in-tuned with my mood at the time and helping me note any depressive thoughts or notions.

[Nammu]

My very first T was a great guy, a phd psychologist. Very understanding and professional, kind of like the father I always wished I could have had. He took a long time to Dx me and his Dx has held up after all these years.

All my other t's were female and easier to talk to about the details of the abuse.

Not about any t in particular but therapy in general I've come a long way from that terrified disassociated person I was. My cPTSD is under control thanks to them all. I still struggle with BP but therapy has taught me to be aware of my mood states and how to better cope with them. If nothing else they can tell me when I'm not noticing the mood shifts and give warning.

[KayDubs]

I'll bite.

My T is really the very first person who's taken me 100% seriously by not diminishing my experiences, nor accusing me of being manipulative, nor telling me what I feel, nor speaking on my behalf. Everything I bring to the table, incredibly deep or totally shallow, is fair game. I've learned more about myself and my engrained patterns/behaviors over the past few years working with my T than I did in my entire life prior to that. And because of the relationship with my T, who actually respects me, I'm cultivating relationships with others who actually respect me, and it's so outrageously rewarding. In summary, my T is great at what she does and I am very thankful to have stumbled across her after all these years. Better a late start than never!

This has been a very difficult month for me. Today marks four years since my sister passed away after a long bout with cancer and going through a difficult bone marrow transplant. I haven't really needed to be in regular therapy for the last year, but I contacted my T and have seen him a few times in the last week as for some reason this year has just hit me harder; I've been feeling pretty raw.

I appreciate having a therapist who I can pick up with when I need to, and it is almost as if no time has passed. He knows where I'm at; we don't have to start over. I have some work to do to get myself back on balance again, and I know he will help me get there and then I'll probably go on my way again without him as it should be for me. I like that I have gotten to a place where I have enough autonomy to function on my own most of the time, yet enough strength of vulnerability to ask for help when help is needed. It is a very empowering dynamic.

[healed84]

T is there for me when I need him. His openness to read my emails, let me text him, take me to the place of my trauma has shown a commitment to my healing. He pushes when he should and apologizes when he shouldn't of pushed. He lets me get mad at him all I want, and will talk to me about it.

I am glad he is my T

I have many positive things I could share and have shared in different threads. My current therapy journey has been an amazing one as I look back on it from the vantage point of bringing it to a natural close. My T has taught me to help myself, in a very real way to become my own therapist, if that makes sense. Last week she told me that I do "profound work", and it is she that has taught me so to do.

[Ambra]

It's the only place where I can exist entirely with not only the good but also the bad. My therapist doesn't always look for obscure hidden reasons in whatever I do just because she's my T and I'm the messed up client. Eg: once I showed her a drawing, she liked it, asked if she could keep it, I said sure, she kept it, end of the story. This attitude makes me feel comfortable. Plus she cares but won't throw herself out of the window if I'm in pain or bring something really bad. Which is really good as I'm not the one who needs to have it together there.

Oh, I almost forgot. My T has a new puppy. He had a dog he had to put down last year because of severe back problems. All very sad for him. It took him some hunting to find a good breeder (he's a German Shepherd lover), but he finally did and got the new puppy last month. Had to look at the baby pictures. I happened to be wearing my "Stubborn Scottish Terrier Tricks" t-shirt, so the dog conversation was a bit inevitable. T said "stubborn" was an appropriate word to have on my chest that day; not nice T--not nice. I like that we can give each other a hard time and chat about our regular lives a bit.

[NowhereUSA]

I appreciate my T's non-judgmental stance and his willingness to accept my dark sense of humor and even laugh with me.

1. Accepts me the way I am.
2. Has gone out of her way to advocate for me to get good treatment when my psychiatrist refused.
3. Has a great laugh and sense of humor, listens well, and is honest about herself and her therapy.
4. Knows what she is doing most of the time; and when she doesn't, says so.
5. Agrees to not do the kind of therapy she likes to do, and sticks to it (for the most part).
6. Responds to emails and phone calls and is friendly about both.
7. I just plain like her.

More: my t has been right there beside me working through my complexes and projections, celebrating with me for both little things and big things alike (I don't think I'll ever forget the way she squealed with pride when I told her I'd published my book of poems), gotten frustrated with me in a human, honest way that in itself was healing for me because she did it with compassion and acceptance even so; and been the epitome of gracious with me when I was anything but (that time we argued and I hung up on her, then called her a couple days later to apologize and ask for another chance which thankfully she gave me), I could go on and on. Therapy with current t has been the absolute best thing I could ever do for myself. Last week, we talked about how I have 'pulled back my projections' and see her as 'only' my t now - not my mother, not my grandma, not any of the other roles I have projected onto her over the years... I told her that I can't just say "only" my t without saying also that she is a skillful, warm and caring t. I think she was really touched when I told her that.

[KayDubs]

Also: my T is funny as hell, which makes my sessions that much more rewarding!

This just doesn't feel right.

[JaneTennison1]

We laugh a lot, it helps me feel comfortable and open up.

[ragsnfeathers]

Current T: Oh gosh, he's honest with me, he lets me ask him anything and so far has answered all my questions, he listens to me and takes what I say seriously and when I say I want to do something differently he's willing to change course (usually), he thinks before responding to me, the few times I've emailed he's answered as soon as he could. When I'm in his office I feel free not just in what I say but just in general. I've only been going to him a couple months but for the first time I see actual inner changes coming from therapy.

Ex T: She cared a lot about me. I was struggling unsuccessfully to find work while carrying around tons of roadblocks. She convinced me to apply for SSDI, talked me through it, did a lot of work on her own time writing evaluations and the like. Without her my sister wouod still be paying my rent. She was always available by email and phone (if I used that). We shared a lot of subcultural history and knowledge, some of it obscure.

[ragsnfeathers]

Originally Posted by licketysplit

This just doesn't feel right.

What doesn't feel right? I'm not sure what you mean.

[Nammu]

Yeah, I have to admit the best Ts I had were nonjudgmental, accepting of where I was in my healing but most of all honest with me no matter how hard it was to hear at the time.

Originally Posted by sidestepper

Yeah, I have to admit the best Ts I had were nonjudgmental, accepting of where I was in my healing but most of all honest with me no matter how hard it was to hear at the time.

Yes, the honesty and straight-forwardness is what I have valued the most. My T's have never played games of saying one thing and meaning another. I haven't had to try to decipher ulterior meaning to their words. I appreciate that kind of candor from them. I think so many people out in the "real" world spend so much time manipulating their language and actions; my T's have never played those kinds of games with me. Thank goodness.

[rainbow8]

There are many positive things about therapy that I want to share. Before therapy, I never talked about my feelings with anyone except my journals. I had a lot bottled up inside of me but was too inhibited to talk about any of it. Therapy changed all that for me.

I was attached to all of my Ts but my current T is the only one who has encouraged me to talk about that attachment and to accept my feelings. She doesn't do straight talk therapy and she has enabled me to feel my feelings in the session instead of merely talking about them. In other words, she's gently guided me past my comfort zone. She's worked with me directly on my anxiety, teaching me breathing and visualizations, and encouraging me to attend a yoga class.

She doesn't put herself on a pedastal; my favorite quote from her is "I'm just a regular person." She is a special person to me, though. She's caring and compassionate and gentle. She has enabled me to tell her secrets that I always thought were TMI.

My T touched me, something no other T would do. She taught me that hugs are nice, not embarrassing. She held my hand, which as most of you know, is especially healing for me. She has made mistakes, but over and over she has proven to me that I am more than "just her job", and that her " love" for me is sincere.

[pbutton]

I somehow managed to ask T if I could have a second session this week. I never ask anyone for anything; that's kind of my 'thing'. Just the very fact that I asked for this is a HUGE step forward for me. T noticed this as well and told me that he knew it was very hard for me to ask & how much work it took me to get to this point. It was uncomfortable, but exciting to see that I am able to try out new things.

My plan is to use the extra session to talk about a chapter in a book I've brought in a few times. T and I have been calling it 'The Really Big Deal'. I have been talking around it for a while. He's read the cover and flipped through the contents, but I haven't shown him my favorite part. It's time for me to share what about it is important to me.

He has done some wonderful things lately, even if a few of them are hard for me to process. One session we went outside and took pictures. So now I have a picture of him on my phone... and also a picture he took of me. That was his idea. Also, we had talked about how I'd love a blanket in the therapy room, He actually brought one in. I flipped out about it, but I still have trouble accepting comfort, so I'm working through all of that with him. He's been very helpful and patient and I am very thankful for his assistance as I work to make changes in my life.

[NowhereUSA]

I appreciate my T's honesty and his willingness to answer my nosy questions.

And also I love that he'll cuss like a sailor with me. My favorite thing he's said to me was, "We care about you, dumbass!"

I laughed so hard and he knows me well enough to know it's exactly the kind of thing I need to hear.

[LindaLu]

As anyone would gather from my past posts my T can be inconsistent and maddening...HOWEVER:

My T offers a space where I can discuss myself and others honestly. She does not have an agenda. She doesn't judge. She helps me get unstuck, define life values and priorities, and suggests ways to self soothe. No other single professional role can do that for me.

And on good days she's a genuinely pleasant/sweet person