[gasolinerainbow]

Do you tell your therapist everything, or do you ever withhold embarrassing info out of a desire to not tarnish your image?

I'm trying to become comfortable with the idea of telling my T everything, but part of me wants to hold back in some areas, like talking about sexual fantasies I have (not with the T) that I'm ashamed of. Realistically I know that I should probably come clean in order to move past it and see it's not a big deal, but it feels so embarrassing to do so.

Anyone in the same situation?

[iheartjacques]

I talk about most things but not everything.

Yes, but if I waited toll I was comfortable about talking about certain things, that wouldn't happen.
Somethings will always be uncomfortable to talk about. Hence whilst I'm in therapy.

[ThisWayOut]

I look at it more as building trust before I spill all the things. Some things I may not talk about for a long time (if ever)...
it's ok to take time getting around to things.

I am not comfortable disclosing lots of things and I am currently figuring out some transference issue that is causing me to fear my T's judgement (possibly paternal). I anticipate resolving this in time and coming to trust him.

[brillskep]

I have things I'm not ready to tell my therapist yet but I trust that I am getting there. I've already told him things that used to be off-limits. But then, there are also things I've found it's better not to tell him - my overcoming issues of trust in ways which seem to trigger his own issues, which then bring me back to not trying some things. I really don't believe in telling anyone everything, but rather developing the level of trust needed to thrive.

[secretgalaxy]

With my old T I got to a point that I could tell her anything. I saw her reactions to many things I said and they were so calm and reassuring that I could trust her.

My new T is young, naive, and I have no trust for her. I'm probably going to quit before we even have any because she damaged it big time...

[granite1]

I so wish I could .I just cant get over myself .

[stopdog]

I tell the woman the things I believe are relevant to why I go see a therapist. I do not tell the woman everything if I do not see how something is related to why I go.

[SoupDragon]

I think it is OK to have our own boundaries.

Don't tell them. Mine had no respect for what I did tell him. He breached my confidence BIG time. It was awful and remains with me forever.

[Suraya]

I have not told mine everything and it's been four years. I do trust her, but I think it is because some of the things I hold back really would tarnish my image because they are really embarrassing.

^^^Thanks for confirming that I am an idiot for trusting my T. I really thought he was trustworthy. I was naïve.

Some things, e.g. Sexual things or embarrassing stuff (stuff like masturbation *shudders* sorry TMI) i hold back because i am a very easily embarrassed and proud person. But otherwise i try to be completely honest and i tell her everything else.

[musinglizzy]

No, I do not tell my T everything. Sometimes I feel guilty in that it defeats the purpose of therapy, but there are some things I'm not ready to talk about and don't believe I ever will be.

[JaneTennison1]

Not yet but eventually, there's just not enough time for everything all at once.

[nervous puppy]

I was with my previous T for 13 years. I told her the big things, and some were difficult. Some were things I had never told anyone else, ever. But there were still many things left un-said because I...just...couldn't. I wish I had been able to tell her "hey I have things I know I should bring up, but I can't say them outloud".
I didn't know then what I know now that it was a transference issue (maternal) and I was afraid of her judgment. Although, she never, ever, actually did judge me, I just thought she would.
I'm working with a new T and hope to trust more and bring up issues like transference or fears of talking when they come up.

Yes we talk about everything. She knows all the big stuff, the extremely private stuff,and even little things like what i put in my lunch every day and what type of tooth soap i use

[Moodswing]

No I do not tell him everything. He is human and will judge even though they are taught not to judge. It can't be helped they judge.

[VioletBubble]

Originally Posted by Moodswing

No I do not tell him everything. He is human and will judge even though they are taught not to judge. It can't be helped they judge.

This is what I struggle with. Are they really judging or not? My T says she doesn't, but she is only human. But she's been trained not to. But she's still just a person. But she said she couldn't be a judgemental person and be in this profession. But, but, but....

I tell him everything pertinent to my therapy (not everything is pertinent), but I tell him when I am ready to do so.

[Ford Puma]

I provide the necessary information to best communicate my situation to T and thats about it. I would not over do it... just enough.

[laxer12]

I try really hard to tell her everything that I think is relevant. I definitely didn't at first but now I try to be very open with what I'm thinking during session. I have no problem with silence and will often go quiet for a minute or two. T is very patient with me and will let me think for a bit before pressing anything. Sometimes I'll break the silence and tell her what I'm thinking, however this is something I've just recently started doing. Other times, she will break it by asking what I'm thinking.

We had a brief conversation once about being open because she could tell I was holding back but now that I trust her, I don't hold back a lot. But I also don't waste time talking about insignificant things. If it isn't relevant, I probably won't say it.

[JustShakey]

Realistically speaking there is no way I could tell him everything. There's just not enough time for that! I try to use what I do talk about/work through with him as a catalyst to work through the other things.

Some things I'm ashamed to tell her, so I don't.