Random - appearance in therapy

Having my hair up or people messing with it is a major trigger for me so it is always down, no matter what. It has been down to my knees as a kid when I wouldn't let anyone cut it, and it has been in a pixie cut. I cut it because people kept"boinging" my curls, but in the end I loved it so I kept it short for 3.5 years. When I cut it, T was very interested into why as I told her it was a trigger. Now it is near my elbows and will probably get another drastic cut as summer is here and this hair is toooooo thick lol. I have noticed that when I am cycling upwards I tend to just cut it off. Or when people keep harnessing me to mess with it I will threaten to cut it lol. I think my T wanted to know the reason because she wanted to see if I was manic or not.

If I get something new, I have to "show it off" to T. Other than that, I'm in jeans and a hoodie, lol. Sometimes I change jackets, and if it was a really good week, I'll dress up in colorful clothes. This week I'm contemplating a cute dress or short shorts. I never wear clothes this short and revealing, but being a teen, my friends told me to live a little and so far I like them! Never wear a dress either so that one was a huge shift. Shocked my mom, lol, so it will probably shock my T.

Thinking more about appearance in therapy... my T has got to think I'm a bag lady....lol... I never actually "look nice" in therapy. I typically throw on yoga or athletic pants and a t shirt and in I go. I go after work, and wear jeans to work... but due to the nature of my job, I usually need to change before I go...so I run home quick and change. I'm not one who typically cares what I look like, as long as I'm clean and my clothes are too. I am pretty **** as far as being clean/not smelly when I go anywhere. But I am a jeans/sweats/yoga pants and t-shirt kinda gal...

The only time T mentioned my hair was when I completely changed it. I had blonde shoulder length, and one day on the spur of the moment I decided to shave it all off. Which revealed my non blonde roots. They did leave me with abiut 1cm! Now, it was to raise money for cancer research, for shave for a cure.......but there was no pre planning!

T did a massive double take when he came to get me from reception. Haha. Told me it really suited me. Funny. He also thought it was very courageous. T is not ine to judge people negatively on their appearance though.

Has been interesting to watch peoples reactions towards me, and notice some assumptions they make since having very short hair. People can be dumb! Especially family.

When I broke my elbow, I cut my long hair to care for it more easily and have kept it short since. I'm naturally a blonde, but wanted to be different, so I dyed it red. Ex-T noticed, but never judged one way or another.

Somehow, she did try to figure out my mood on clothing which I found to be hilarious considering that I only wear black. But she did tell me if I wore color, she would be extremely worried.

What she did judge me on was posture: how I sat. If both feet were on the floor, I was feeling okay. If one leg was tucked under me, I wasn't doing good. If I had both feet crossed under, I was happy. And if I was holding my purse, I was scared. She was right on all of these things.