![]() |
FAQ/Help |
Calendar |
Search |
![]() |
|
View Poll Results: Does your T ever look at you with a long intense period of eyecontact? | ||||||
Yes my T sometimes gazes at me for long moments. |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
41 | 63.08% | |||
|
||||||
No, my T never does this. |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
7 | 10.77% | |||
|
||||||
We have long periods of eye contact but it feels like ordinary eye contact. |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
11 | 16.92% | |||
|
||||||
Other |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
6 | 9.23% | |||
|
||||||
Voters: 65. You may not vote on this poll |
Reply |
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
#51
|
|||
|
|||
I don't personally struggle with eye contact with real people. I don't struggle with it around the therapist either - I just don't have a need to look at the woman and it does not help me to do so. I can look at her if I want to do so or feel a need to do so. I personally only care about the oxytocin idea in relation to animals. I don't look at the therapist unless angry so I am in no danger of being oxytocined by the woman.
My mention of oxytocin is more as a possible explanation why some clients find it so good to look at a therapist. And why some therapists, consciously or unconsciously, seem to employ the stare so much. And I don't think all therapists are trained the same way. Certainly ones I talk to about it in my professional life do not all report the same types of training. I had a therapist about 15 years ago that I only saw for a 2-3 of months. It was always a struggle with that one but I quit because she decided to sit in silence as I shook - we sat in full silence for two whole appointments and then I quit. (she said I couldn't just quit - she was batshit crazy). The first one I see now has more trouble with silence than I do at this point. I would rather have silence than her talking at me. If she had stuck to questions I would not mind it so much - but her statements are pointless to me. (the batshit crazy one was not better at talking - I just wanted some direction in the form of questioning).
__________________
Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
![]() UnderRugSwept
|
#52
|
||||
|
||||
SD, I appreciate your use of oxytocin as a verb.
__________________
"Take me with you, I don't need shoes to follow, Bare feet running with you, Somewhere the rainbow ends, my dear." - Tori Amos |
![]() Lauliza, stopdog
|
#53
|
|||
|
|||
I am usually against verbing - but it seemed to fit here.
__________________
Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
![]() Lauliza, UnderRugSwept
|
#55
|
||||
|
||||
.
I have no clue because I never look at T. For all I know T could be sleeping or messing with his hair or... No oxytocin happening here. It's amazing that people can look T in the eyes.... |
![]() musinglizzy
|
#56
|
|||
|
|||
The other day I kept looking into Ts eyes while he talked ...to the point he looked away..
![]() |
#57
|
|||
|
|||
Same here...I look at my T when I get there and when I leave, but don't face her during session at all. My choice. So I don't see what she's doing....
__________________
~It's not how much we give but how much love we put into giving~ |
#58
|
|||
|
|||
I have no idea.. I rarely look at my T.
|
#59
|
||||
|
||||
I didn't think of it is a purposeful "tactic", but rather a by-product of all the attentiveness, compassion, and intimacy in the therapy setting. At least that is what it felt like to me. And I had no clue as to how to handle that. So I yelled.
Sigh. |
![]() Anonymous40413, feralkittymom, secretgalaxy, UnderRugSwept
|
#60
|
||||
|
||||
She does. It's one of the things I love most about her, but it's also very painful for me (the whole eye-contact thing).
__________________
Sometimes you leave the homes you build, but most times, they leave you. |
![]() secretgalaxy
|
![]() secretgalaxy
|
#61
|
|||
|
|||
Oh ya. I call it "intimacy bombing" because it's like she's dropping a nuke filled with puppy love and other therapist-related uranium. Especially with that gravitational pull thing she has going on with her eyeballs. She's like the snake from The Jungle Book.
I can't even reliably predict it. Sometimes I look up randomly and she's sitting there cheesing like : )))))))))))!!!!!!!! To which I have to say, though, fair deuces. Some days when she's looking down at her notes I pull some very childish "neener-neener" faces. Occasionally she'll comment on my expression because I default to "resting ***** face" without realizing it but it's basically just a blank template for all the unrefined things it does when she's not looking. |
![]() Sawyerr
|
#62
|
||||
|
||||
He just looks at me while he talks to me or while I'm listening. I don't see any thing particular about it.
My son's psychiatrist has what I call his "assessing" face. When he's listening and it looks like he's looking at me and weighing me up. |
#63
|
|||
|
|||
Sometimes my T says "Look at me" and I usually look at her mouth when she says that. I don't pay attention to the rest of her face. I can't talk while looking at someone's face. But when I promise something or when we make an agreement she usually wants me to look at her. I hate that. And even then I look at her mouth - not her eyes.
|
#64
|
||||
|
||||
Therapist gaze.... thats a new one for me. Can not say if it ever happened or not as I tend not to notice things sometimes.... ok so that may sound odd but I am known for been a strange puma sheep.
![]()
__________________
A daily dose of positive in a world going cuckoo Humour helps... ![]() Last edited by Ford Puma; Apr 26, 2015 at 12:10 PM. Reason: add a word |
#65
|
||||
|
||||
My therapist does it with me at times. As for me that gaze says "I'm attuned and really invested in getting what you mean". At the beginning I felt like she was analyzing me, but now I just perceive it as caring and focused on what I try to say.
It was totally new to me because I'd never had someone looking at me with such interest as person. I learned to be familiar with it and now I don't feel threatened by such gaze anymore, I find it nurturing instead.
__________________
Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end. |
Reply |
|