Is not having a supervisor a deal breaker for a T, or am I just being overly picky?

My ex-T didn't have a supervisor, but she worked in a practice with other T's, and they consulted every week. I didn't worry about it too much.

My t is in private practice going on 20 years and does not have a supervisor. She does have her own therapist that she talks to twice a month she's told me. I didn't actually know she didn't have a supervisor until awhile back when I got all freaked out about how I would find out if she died (since we do only phone sessions now) and she admitted she didn't even have a professional will at that time, and didn't have a supervisor either. It was an "interesting" time in my therapy working through that fear.

I've had therapist trainers with over 20 or even 40 years of experience who still saw a supervisor now and then for difficult cases, but normally this isn't a requirement. A young and inexperienced therapist in supervision still bears most of the responsibility for his/her clients and a therapist with as much experience as you describe does not legally even have to see a supervisor. The fact that she has both personal therapy and peer supervision tells me that this therapist cares about her work and doing her best with more input than just her own. I also understand needing warmth from a therapist, though I also think that the level of warmth you need may be something you also build together with time. This therapist is right to say she's not a mind reader and I think that she needs to get to knoiw you and your needs before really giving you what you need.

There may be cases in which there's nothing wrong with a therapist exactly, but you just don't feel the connection. I think it's always okay to go for a therapist you feel more connected to, for no apparent particular reason. But having read some of your posts before, I have to wonder ... if you're doubting your decision at all and if you still (at least partially) wish to remain with your current therapist, will any other therapist be enough for you? I don't know exactly how come you're even looking, but ending a significant therapeutic relationship is a loss and you're probably starting to grieve, and I imagine it's very difficult to go to another therapist, no matter how thoughtful, experienced, even warm or whatever qualities you may be looking for. I'm just thinking out loud here, in the end of course you've met these therapists and know what's best for you.

This is just my opinion, but I'm really big on gut feelings. If you don't feel like it was a correct fit in your gut, in your soul, I don't think it's a good fit. And I'm overly systematic and practical in every other area of my life (I'm a physician), but for certain things, I think you just "know" if something is "right" or not. If you need someone warm, you need someone warm. Just because someone has a billion years of experience doesn't mean they'll be the correct person for you. Quantity often doesn't equal quality...

It's an ethical requirement in the UK for therapists to have a supervisor so no, I wouldn't be prepared to see one who wasn't in regular supervision.

Is it in Canada (OP is in Canada)? What the rules are per country and licensing body makes a difference from what I've read.

Is it a legal requirement for experienced therapists in the UK to have a supervisor? I know some therapists from the UK who are also supervisors and I was under the impression that they chose but were not under an obligation to have more supervision. But then again, we didn't discuss UK law. I'm just curious.