I think T. is referring me, I'm numb

I'm not sure this is the right thing to do but I've made a decision. I have a feeling some of you will think it's not the right one but I'm going with it.

I sent her a text saying that I want another chance. I do think there are ways I can change my thinking/my reactions to her/avoiding the grief, etc. So, I'm going to take her suggestion and space sessions. I'm hoping she'll go to every 1.5 weeks before 2 weeks. I'm scheduled through May so this wouldn't happen until June.

for example, something will happen and I will feel hurt. I will get really upset and KNOW it relates to my mom. But, when I go in my session I talk to her as if SHE did it and did it on purpose. She will try to remind me that I'm seeing it the wrong way due to the transference. Going in I KNOW that but I have a hard time. I think instead of acting like SHE did it. I need to say I feel ______ and I know it's due to the transference and it relates to my past because my mom _____. This is relationship 101 - take the "you" out and say " I feel". I would do that with anyone else.

If it's too hard to change or things just don't seem better, then I really have given it all I have. I want to know that I tried everything before I leave. Of course, this is assuming she will agree.

Oddly enough, I'm in a good place. I think I feel like I've got a plan now if she's on board. I'm trying to concentrate on my family and put the negative thoughts out of my mind.

In the meantime, I will look around for T's and see if I find one I like. But, this will buy me time and let me see if I can manage my transference differently.

Again, it might not be the best plan but it's a plan right now. Most importantly, I want to know I gave it everything with her.

I hope it gets better for you soon. Good luck with the plan.

SM, I think that's a good decision. Hope it goes well

If the change won't take place until June then it doesn't seem she is abandoning you for May? Or maybe I'm reading that the wrong way. I do think it is a decent choice. I hope she agrees and it works out. It is so easy to get caught up in the semantics and who is right or wrong but I try to focus on the ultimate goal and let the other stuff go. Punishing my T for the sins of my mom is not helping.

I agree that you seem to be making the right decision. Give it a shot with your current T, but keep your options open. Have you heard back from her text? When do you see her next? Goo luck!

I had may scheduled a month ago. But when she mentioned spacing sessions, she didn't say when so I felt it could be anytime.

No I haven't heard back and probably won't. We don't text and I said no response was needed. I just wanted to have said it. I see her again monday.

If it feels good to you and gives you peace, it's a good plan. You've clearly given it a lot of thought. I hope it works out well

My t and i both accuse each other of sounding like my mother from time to time. Its as if there is a third actor in the room saying things neither of us really means.

Maybe this explains our mutual fascination with the old westerns like The Lone Ranger and Zorro. Its like, who WAS that masked man?? It wasnt him or me.

I hope things work out. You have been making such incredible progress with this t.

!

Soccer mom, first let me say I am sorry you are going through this with your T right now. It must be scary for you to feel this way, (as if your T wants you to leave and not receive her support). I, very recently went through feeling like my T wanted me to leave therapy with her since she had broguht up eventually that she feels I am resisting some things/treatment methods in our work. In part, I realize now and agree with some of the sentiment now. But it had felt horrible to imagine a) that I had maybe pushed her away and b) that she might not want me around anymore. There have definitely been times where I have felt bad for frustrating her, but you should realize this is a part of healthy treatment as most people in life get into arguments since no 2 people are the same.
If you are committed to working on yourself, though, I dont see why she would want to refer you.
Again, sorry you are going through a tough one, I felt I was in the same boat as you a few days ago, hopefully things will turn around for you and her.