Couch 94 - Blowtorches R' Us

Hey Hankie!! lol. He's good. We're good together again too! We are renewing our wedding vows this December on our 15th anniversary.

Thats why "fine" is not on the feelings and emotions wheel??

You don't have to...that's your prerogative. If you did, then you wouldn't be stopdog!

Fine is my favorite thing to be. If I am fine, everything is going along as it should. I will not have it maligned.

Thanks Chopin!! Don't know if you read back any on the couch or not... but I ended my therapy back in April, and then met with t in person a few days ago (hadn't seen her in person in 2.5 years!) when she was in town for a couple days. We had a really nice visit, talked for about an hour & a half and then went for a walk around the resort she was staying at. It was wonderful seeing her again. She did encourage me a bit to go back to school - I've been attending lectures at a "Friends of Jung" society lately and loving them. They're attended by mostly practicing t's, so it's interesting hanging out with them! Glad you are doing well!!!

Well, I could have said it just based on what they taught me...after all, I go to school online. I participated in a residency this month where ALL we did was practice skills. Apparently I have some because I didn't get kicked out of residency (several folks did). Actually, my prof told me I have what it takes due to my time on the couch as a client and my struggles with mental illness. I'm glad some good is coming from it...lol!

I could really use a hug. I'm having a bit of a hard time lately, just too much going on and going wrong, and I got home from a trip today (only wanted 24 hours off from my life to visit family) and my dog was so ill (husband did something careless) that I had to turn around and go to the emergency vet, and she has to stay there overnight. And I think she'll be fine, $1500 later (which I so don't really have), but I don't feel fine. I am SO *7#8ng out of FINE and I don't know where to buy anymore. I'm sleep deprived is all too, I imagine. I don't know what I am, tired of conflict, I had to give up and leave (my own!) dinner table because of the bickering that is like pollution set to choke me to death. I'm totally fine, except I don't like how much I'm thinking about wanting to be dead and killing myself, except I'm sure I don't much mean it, that really I just mean WORLD STOP please, and give me 5 minutes to catch my breath. I graduated college, just this past week (thanks all for the cheers) and I am pretty sure... 80% if I can hold out for..... two more weeks, until the ceremony, my life will be better and more balanced by then. I cut back at work a tiny bit, I cashed out my 401k to pay off some bills (hard to be totally happy about that one though) and I don't have any more coursework to do... that and a few other things probably mean life will get easier...

except see...

I thought life would get easier now, and I came home to my poor baby so sick that she wasn't even glad to see me! That's pretty shokingly bad for her,

and the vet already called and said she was doing better-

she won't die, I don't think,

Except... last month, or 6 weeks ago, the heart failure started, badly, so I'm too aware of her mortality now, because it's going to kill her sooner or later, and it's too many ups and downs for me.

I'm sorry to hijack the couch. If I wasn't being really selfish, I wouldn't mess up the whole tone of the couch, but... I couldn't think of where else better to say anything. And ltos of you are very nice and understanding. I am just sobbing now in a messy way. I need to figure out my way to better. Time to pull out the ole self-care booklet, make a drink, find some music, wrap up, take it easy, yada yada, and try and sleep.

Glad to hear of all of it!! I've actually stayed away because being here isn't always good for me, so I haven't read back any. Plus I'm done with therapy myself (although I plan to find a really good one that I can see as a T myself. I do not want my issues bleeding over into my counseling because I experienced it from the client's side in spades with my last T. I've now had a professor and an expert at the ACA that have given me good reason to complain to the licensing board; however, I have no interest in ruining her life. If I did, it would be because I want to prevent future clients from harm).

Dude you were demonstrating on here some mad skills. You were always very open with me, witch that i was!. That was a magical summer here, btw! I think never to be duplicated.

(((Leah)))

(((Leah))) and some more extra hugs too.

Aww for cutie kitten, hugs for Leah and BayBrony's babies, RIP my little chihuahua (died today) and welcome back the Pekingese who moved back in with us.

Tomorrow starts a helluva week with school winding down, jobs, IOP, and several schedule changes. This will require juggling on several people's parts, fingers crossed nobody gets forgotten.

Hugs for those who welcome such things, and a sedate nod for those anti-hug Couchies. Good night everyone.

Awe, I'm sorry your chihuahua died. Take it easy, sounds like you too have a lot going on!

I'm channeling her.

One day, I hope!

Sorry to hear about the old pets. I have an old boy who is in his elderly decline too. It is hard to lose them or have them be sick.

ok my big girl pants are getting work out today . called T about issues. she may or may not call back . my stomach turning with nerves and all. and well I was at it decided to call the shoulder specialist I have been seeing to demand an MRI. why when in pain do you need to jump through so many hoops to get an MRI to be sure you are not damaging it more with PT . how can anyone know what is going on . or the PT people when they say they are not doing more damage when no one knows what is really wrong

An update on "my" Birkin handbag - i just saw on the news that one was sold at auction for $222,000.00 USD. It was hot pink crocodile with white gold and diamond hardware. Just to put our problems into perspective

I will own a Birkin before I vacate earth. I have a bucket list it has one thing on it...

kidding.

maybe.

You'll never know... haha

I was inspired by your big girl panties, Granite, and emailed my T with details about how suicidal I was last week, what the actual plans were, weird way I kept myself from doing anything, and asked for help with a better safety plan. He emailed back almost immediately telling me how glad he was I shared and saying we would talk about it tomorrow. So. Hopefully if I fall off into the pit of despair next time, I will have a better plan than just asking H for help.

Maybe if we all pitch in, we can each have it for a few days. But we'll have to take out a mortgage!

Well done!

MKAC - I am glad he responded well.

Others - I don't get the appeal of birkens that cost more than what I paid for my house- do they last forever, carry a lot of stuff, or some other cool thing I don't know about?

All of the above, SD, all of the above

They FEEL so amazing too. Ha. If I had one I'd just sit and pet it all day.

Evening couch. I survived that last day of school. I am taking a personal day tomorrow since I can. Spending the morning of my personal day with C, then to come home and try to clean a little bit (key work TRY) before heading to CVS. I have CVS tonight 8-12, I will need to come right home and get to sleep as I have to be at C's at 8am. I like C though, so it is worth it. I can always take a little nap after C if I need to.

Need to make space in my room for the mini-fridge. Will need help getting it inside after I do. I had to borrow a dolly from the custodial department at school to get it from the classroom to my car today. I don't really need a mini-fridge in my room, but I don't want it sitting in my car all summer. Hmmm... or maybe I should add it to the crap of mine in my grandma's barn for storage. That may be a better idea. Have to call and see when my brother is not working (he lives with her) to have him help me get it out of my car and into the barn. I think I will do that.

Well, I need to rest a little before CVS, I am worn out from the kids being off the chain today.