So I told my psychologist about the whispering and about how I think there are bad spirits everywhere and how I think one is following me. And I also told him that I was seeing my psychiatrist and he said he would send a letter but I don't know what he will say and if he will mention the whispering stuff. If he does though I won't know what to do because I am too scared to say anything to my psychiatrist because I only recently started seeing him and I don't know if I can trust him. Cause I also have well I kind of feel like a lot of psychiatrists are evil and want to hurt me but I have never told them that. I am just really scared about if he finds all this stuff out and what would happen.

[SoupDragon]

I'm glad you were able to share this with your psychologist. I'm sure he will act in what he thinks are your best interests. I hope you are continuing to see him, it is good to have someone who you feel you can be open with so he can help you.

But what about the psychiatrist? ?????????

[Angelique67]

Originally Posted by eden1515

But what about the psychiatrist? ?????????

I'm also glad you told this to your psychologist. Try not to worry about the psychiatrist. They're mainly just focused on meds, they don't intentionally mean to hurt you. You'll be OK.

[cattie-bre]

Hi eden1515,

I also have a major fear of the phycologist/phyciatrist. When I first talked to my doctor about what was going on, she put me on paxil, and did not explain at all what I was about to go threw....just hey here take these pills and you will be fine. A week later, I downed that whole bottle of pills, and ended up in emerg, where they pumped my stomach and sent me home. A week after that I downed another bottle of pills, ended up back in the hospital, but this time in ICU, hearing voices and seeing things that were not there, I spent a week in our local phych ward and was released with a new antiphycotic ( I am not even sure what it is called anymore) 3 days after I was released, I ended up getting in my car, I swallowed all of my pills from the doctor, as well as a ton of sleeping pills, with half a 66 of whiskey and drove my car into a ditch. I was revived twince and spent a week in ICU before I woke up, i woke up confused and disoriented tied down to a bed, with tubes in and out of every hole possible covered in bruises. From there i spent another week in phych, where they did the exact same thing, he are these pills take them and you will feel better. From this experience, i decided that pills were evil, the doctors were all evil, and as far as i was concerned they could all go to hell and I would deal with these problems on my own. I masked everthing with drugs and alcohol, and decided i was fine ( this could not be farther from the truth) I am only starting to accept the fact that I have a mental condition that needs to be properly addressed. I am still scared to all hell that the new doctors are just gonna do the same thing, hand me a prescription and dismiss it like it's not a serious issue.
However, with the right support in your life anything is possible. With the help of a very dear friend, who is going to be with me every step of the way in the beginning, it has made the situation a little more barrable.

I guess the moral of my story is this: Trust is the hardest thing in the world to obtain, and keep. The only thing you can do, is start out with the small things, and work your way up to the bigger things, and always always always trust your instincts. Always remember that you are strong and there is always somebody here to talk to, no matter what I hope my story helps you a little bit, you are not alone

Ok thanks i dont think i can stop worrying though.

Ok but what if he does hurt me?????

[msjblonde]

Do you have someone you trust who could go with you to the appointment? Even if they sit outside in the waiting area?

[justdesserts]

Originally Posted by eden1515

Ok but what if he does hurt me?????

Will you see your psychologist again before you see your psychiatrist? Can you talk about your concerns with him or her?

No i dont have anyone. And i dont see my psychologist before either. I am just really nervous.

[Lauliza]

Do you trust your psychologist? If so maybe you can ask the psychologist to go with you to your appointment.

I cant ask him because i would have to call him and i cant talk on the phone.

[msjblonde]

Do you have the option to email or even write him a letter and mail it?

There isn't enough time the appointment is in a few days.

[Angelique67]

Originally Posted by eden1515

There isn't enough time the appointment is in a few days.

You could print out this thread? To bring and show him?

But then he would know for sure there was other stuff and I would have to explain everything.

[Gavinandnikki]

So explain everything! You can do it. Print this thread and hand it over.

Eden, a good psychiatrist will not hurt you. A good one will listen to you.

Maybe you can write down your fears down - even the fears that he'll hurt you - and give it in a letter?

[stopchewinggum]

The most the pdoc will probably do is give a prescription. I wouldn't worry about it.

[iheartjacques]

Originally Posted by cattie-bre

Hi eden1515,

I also have a major fear of the phycologist/phyciatrist. When I first talked to my doctor about what was going on, she put me on paxil, and did not explain at all what I was about to go threw....just hey here take these pills and you will be fine. A week later, I downed that whole bottle of pills, and ended up in emerg, where they pumped my stomach and sent me home. A week after that I downed another bottle of pills, ended up back in the hospital, but this time in ICU, hearing voices and seeing things that were not there, I spent a week in our local phych ward and was released with a new antiphycotic ( I am not even sure what it is called anymore) 3 days after I was released, I ended up getting in my car, I swallowed all of my pills from the doctor, as well as a ton of sleeping pills, with half a 66 of whiskey and drove my car into a ditch. I was revived twince and spent a week in ICU before I woke up, i woke up confused and disoriented tied down to a bed, with tubes in and out of every hole possible covered in bruises. From there i spent another week in phych, where they did the exact same thing, he are these pills take them and you will feel better. From this experience, i decided that pills were evil, the doctors were all evil, and as far as i was concerned they could all go to hell and I would deal with these problems on my own. I masked everthing with drugs and alcohol, and decided i was fine ( this could not be farther from the truth) I am only starting to accept the fact that I have a mental condition that needs to be properly addressed. I am still scared to all hell that the new doctors are just gonna do the same thing, hand me a prescription and dismiss it like it's not a serious issue.
However, with the right support in your life anything is possible. With the help of a very dear friend, who is going to be with me every step of the way in the beginning, it has made the situation a little more barrable.

I guess the moral of my story is this: Trust is the hardest thing in the world to obtain, and keep. The only thing you can do, is start out with the small things, and work your way up to the bigger things, and always always always trust your instincts. Always remember that you are strong and there is always somebody here to talk to, no matter what I hope my story helps you a little bit, you are not alone

That's a worry, what makes you want to swallow the whole bottle? Three times?

Originally Posted by cattie-bre

Hi eden1515,

I also have a major fear of the phycologist/phyciatrist. When I first talked to my doctor about what was going on, she put me on paxil, and did not explain at all what I was about to go threw....just hey here take these pills and you will be fine. A week later, I downed that whole bottle of pills, and ended up in emerg, where they pumped my stomach and sent me home. A week after that I downed another bottle of pills, ended up back in the hospital, but this time in ICU, hearing voices and seeing things that were not there, I spent a week in our local phych ward and was released with a new antiphycotic ( I am not even sure what it is called anymore) 3 days after I was released, I ended up getting in my car, I swallowed all of my pills from the doctor, as well as a ton of sleeping pills, with half a 66 of whiskey and drove my car into a ditch. I was revived twince and spent a week in ICU before I woke up, i woke up confused and disoriented tied down to a bed, with tubes in and out of every hole possible covered in bruises. From there i spent another week in phych, where they did the exact same thing, he are these pills take them and you will feel better. From this experience, i decided that pills were evil, the doctors were all evil, and as far as i was concerned they could all go to hell and I would deal with these problems on my own. I masked everthing with drugs and alcohol, and decided i was fine ( this could not be farther from the truth) I am only starting to accept the fact that I have a mental condition that needs to be properly addressed. I am still scared to all hell that the new doctors are just gonna do the same thing, hand me a prescription and dismiss it like it's not a serious issue.
However, with the right support in your life anything is possible. With the help of a very dear friend, who is going to be with me every step of the way in the beginning, it has made the situation a little more barrable.

I guess the moral of my story is this: Trust is the hardest thing in the world to obtain, and keep. The only thing you can do, is start out with the small things, and work your way up to the bigger things, and always always always trust your instincts. Always remember that you are strong and there is always somebody here to talk to, no matter what I hope my story helps you a little bit, you are not alone

This worries me because i feel like that sort of thing might happen to me. But i will try amd write it down and see if that makes a difference.

[ThisWayOut]

I've had a similar experience of being really worried going to a pdoc. It was still really scary every time. One thing that helped me was knowing that I I could still reach out to my T if anything overly scary happened with PDoc (and at times, when I was really in a bad space, scary things happened). I HATE talking on the phone. I stutter and freeze and brush everything off. My "professional" voice kicks in and hides everything. There were times though, that I was able to pick up the phone to call T... It took her a few minutes to figure out who I was (I couldn't even say my name in greeting), but just calling and hearing her voice helped...

about being scared of PDoc and letting him/her know: they have experience with clients that are scared of them and/or really gaurded. Hopefully, the PDoc you see will be gentle about it and help you htrough that fear.

I hope you can find a way to breathe through the appointment. As someone else pointed out, good PDoc's will not hurt you.

I do that on the phone someone even asked if I had taken any drugs because I was talking so weirdly once. Ugh I just I am really scared I can't even explain why because I don't really know I just feel bad.

[cattie-bre]

[QUOTE=iheartjacques;4456229]That's a worry, what makes you want to swallow the whole bottle? Three times?[/QUOTE

To be very honest with you hun, the only way I can explain it, is that my brain just cracked. I had times where I didn't understand what was going on in my head, the thoughts racing so rapidly and I jut wanted it to stop. The third time, I honestly remember very little, but when I took the pills it was like I was sitting beside myself in the car watching what I was doing, I wasn't me anymore, I had become this sad crazy little girl who couldn't explain what was going on, I was angry, frustrated sad and happy all at the same time, with racing thoughts, tremors.......the last thing I remember thinking was thank god its finally going to be over. I am however a little older and understand a little better with what is going on, doesn't make things any easier and in the last few years I have developed a few more symptoms. Doctors appointment is only 7 days away......

I just know I feel like I constantly need to scream and I feel like I don't belong in my own skin like something is ripping at me from the inside and I feel like I will explode. Ugh the appointment is later today and I am scared now.