Yrs back, another client had given T a gift. Can't even remember what it was now. I noticed it and T took it out if the room by my next visit. I can't remember the conversation around this. I remember feeling cared about. That T took my feelings into consideration. (she's very good at keeping therapy free of other clients. I've never in 11yrs seem another client and T said that would never happen.
Last week I noticed there was a little pottery ornament on her book shelves. She asked if I wanted to look at it. I said, OK.
Then she asked if it was OK to keep it there? I remember thinking that it must be a gift from another client. T said as she replaced it that it was an American Indian trinket.
I thought about this client having had a holiday and bringing it back for T. All these thoughts happened in a nano second. AND apart from a little curiosity, this time, I was fine with T keeping the gift in our room.
Probably because I believe now that T 'giving of gerself' to another doesn't threaten what I have with her. That T has enough for all. That felt better this time.

[iheartjacques]

The room I'm in as white bland. All the stuff in there isn't his. He just rents the office. So I don't worry too much about what's in there.

But would you if the room was 'his'?

[iheartjacques]

I don't know actually b

[LindaLu]

My T meets me in her home office. I'm scared someday she'll move entirely into one of her rented spaces which will be very institutional. Most of the time being in her home office is very comforting but something seeing something new reminds me that she's married or has other clients and it's a little uncomfortable. Guess I'm still working on the "sharing my T" concept.

My ex-t talked of having psychotherapy trainees as clients. I imagined her enjoying cosy chats with them about therapy, and enjoying this far more than having to face emotional me. I know that new T will never mention another client to me at all, she has never said it but I just know it

My T has pictures of his kids and grandkids in his office as well as every little trinket and gift clients have given him, from little happy meal toys from kids who were clients to artwork from adult clients. I actually really like that. We've had conversations over the years about these things. Each is very meaningful to him and he can tell you exactly who (obviously not by name) gave them, what the meaning behind them was, and something about that person ( again, not at all in any identifiable way to me). I find it nice to know he cherished those gifts and the people behind those gifts, often many, many years later. Perhaps it is one reason it never felt threatening to me because it is so clear how much caring he had to go around and that caring is still very genuine even after those clients are long gone.

I think it's not so obvious in the beginging. T's caring that is. If there are deep seated trust issues. For me it's had to grow. I don't care what someone might say, my mother had tons of puesdo caring phrases.
She'd twist reality so much that you can't believe your eyes or your ears.

[Ellahmae]

The way T's office is decorated there are only a couple of things I can tell are from clients, the two things I've brought in. The rest could just be decor. No photos of family. Nothing that you would know is personal. I often wonder though what is hers and what is something someone brought in, but it doesn't take away from my therapy or my relationship. I think I like that I can't tell what was from clients or what she placed there. I think if it was obvious it might bother me. Not sure.

[divine1966]

I frankly don't pay attention what's in her office. It appears rather bland. I am not sure if it is deliberate to eliminate distractions. Not much decor. Maybe it is better this way. I am very easily distracted so having things to look at would distract t me

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[AncientMelody]

Originally Posted by Brown Owl

My ex-t talked of having psychotherapy trainees as clients. I imagined her enjoying cosy chats with them about therapy, and enjoying this far more than having to face emotional me. I know that new T will never mention another client to me at all, she has never said it but I just know it

Don't be so sure about this. Speaking as a medical practitioner here, I enjoy and am in my element far more when I am caring for my patients than when I am socializing or instructing a medical student.

[musinglizzy]

My T has personal photos in her office. She also has a painting on canvas I did for her a year ago hanging on the wall. The only time I have an issue with "others" is if she's texting or taking personal calls during my session. I also was quite uncomfortable when she had her daughter waiting for her in the waiting room during one of my sessions. I felt very self conscious about that. Uncomfortable, and guilty that her daughter had to sit out there and wait for me.

[ThisWayOut]

My T has all sorts of stuff around her office, and I have no idea where any of it came from (except the unicorn and the dog, becuase we have had conversations around both of those items). Plenty of what she has could be gifts from clients or friends or family members or simply things she got for herself.

I've never been bothered by the thought of T having other clients, or them "being in the room" like that. Though that might have to do with me really needing to know I am *not* special in any way, shape, or form. "special" comes with strings. I want no strings attached in my safe therapeutic relationship.

Last T had stayed back at an organization just to finish seeing me through a longer termination. It ended up being worse. When I found out I was her only client left there, I started to fear that she would want something from me because of it. I quit soon after that...

Previous T's have had various gifts and items in their offices from other clients. One T seemed to get new gifts almost weekly. :shrugs:

[musinglizzy]

Don't most T's have a no gifts policy? Mine does...although she accepted the painting I'm quite sure to spare my feelings should she have said no. I'm thankful for that. Unfortunately, the more I see it, the more I don't like it. I'd love to give her permission to trash it.

[Sawyerr]

I don't think I "allow" others to be there. I prefer denying their existence and just really hate the fact that my T see anyone else but me.

I think that I'm fortunate. We've a bare clinic room, so the only personal things are her bag and mine.

And perhaps her cup of takeaway coffee, not even a personal ceramic cup.

Even the pen seems to be stationary from the hospital.

There sometimes is another case file or two stacked with mine, so I know others are there, but they're not client's gifts so I can have the illusion of being the only outpatient patient...

I suppose she has received small gifts such as cards or trinkets before though.

[justdesserts]

My t's office feels very much like a living room, but all the decorations in the room (the paintings, the sculptures) are his and are connected to his personality. He has a bookshelf full of books, some of which are gifts from other clients. I've also given my t gifts--two books, but the books I've given him he doesn't keep in the office. I've seen other clients come and go from his office, but I don't mind knowing he has other clients.

[musinglizzy]

Originally Posted by justdesserts

My t's office feels very much like a living room, but all the decorations in the room (the paintings, the sculptures) are his and are connected to his personality. He has a bookshelf full of books, some of which are gifts from other clients. I've also given my t gifts--two books, but the books I've given him he doesn't keep in the office. I've seen other clients come and go from his office, but I don't mind knowing he has other clients.

Same here. My T's office looks like a living area. It's cozy. I find myself staring at the book shelf during every session. I also don't have an issue with other clients. There is never anyone after me, but always someone before. I am curious of her other clients and do look at them as they leave, just to note their sex, approx. age, and their facial expression. I haven't seen a single client to came out of there looking distressed. I do every session. So the only thing I think of while seeing other clients is how happy I am there isn't anyone after me, so I don't feel self conscious over looking like I was in there falling apart.