NYTimes article from a therapist

msxyz · May 25, 2015, 07:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Perna

A therapist is not a poet, does not study or want to be a poetry critic and over time, I would think a therapist could be forgiven for being bored or annoyed or whatever given that not only is the client not using the therapist and therapy as it is set up to be used but refuses to even try to adapt to the therapist and therapy as it is designed. There are limits and structure and he ignored all of them.

I imagine some would say it was "his money" and he should be able to hire the therapist to be a "friend" or whatever he wants, it's his therapy but the therapist does not have to take on everyone, just because someone wants to hire them. Therapists take on clients that interest them and whom they think they can help, those they think they can work with. This poor guy was not too much about "with" and probably did not belong in therapy at all, just as he belonged in the group home because he wasn't able to care for himself adequately (and sounds like that group home was not, either; I was appalled they didn't know he was in his room and had never left and had died).

I don't think it's the client's job ever to adapt to the therapist. That's the therapist's job.

There is no one way therapy is designed to be, supportive therapy is very much a thing and he seemed to have great use for that. Not everyone can do exploitative therapy and those are often the people who need therapy very much so because of their problems or suffering.

growlycat · May 26, 2015, 06:48 AM

I feel badly for the guy; he was barely "tolerated" by the therapist until he died. Then his story became great fodder for a NYT article.

I agree that T comes off as a condescending jerk. Was Sylvia Plath just a "depressive"?

Ellahmae · May 26, 2015, 07:57 AM

This. My T and I talked about when a therapist has to go through the grieving process for a client as she had just been to a funeral of a patient. It was very, not sure of the word to use, but it brought me comfort and it also helped me understand a little more of the depth that at least my T can/does feel for me even though some of the time I have a hard time believing it. So while I think this article was in "poor judgement" I do agree with the quoted piece below.

Quote:

What do you do when a patient dies? For psychotherapists, relationships with patients are far more than casual; they are often intense and deeply cherished. Especially if we’ve not had time to prepare, we can feel the same as if we suddenly lost a close friend or even a family member — devastated. Worse, it’s often a lonely mourning.

unaluna · May 26, 2015, 08:23 AM

Actually one of the great old ts - i searched and searched and finally found his book - my work with schizophrenics - i think his name started with a g - did sit and join his clients in their delusions and that is how he eventually reached them.

I think the problem is, we want to bring our ts into our maze, and they want to lead us out.

stopdog · May 26, 2015, 08:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hankster

Actually one of the great old ts - i searched and searched and finally found his book - my work with schizophrenics - i think his name started with a g - did sit and join his clients in their delusions and that is how he eventually reached them.

I think the problem is, we want to bring our ts into our maze, and they want to lead us out.

I do want them to understand what I am telling them about the maze. I do not believe a therapist can lead me out and I think it is arrogant of them to think they can. I don't want a therapist leading me at all.

unaluna · May 26, 2015, 08:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

I do want them to understand what I am telling them about the maze. I do not believe a therapist can lead me out and I think it is arrogant of them to think they can. I don't want a therapist leading me at all.

My t is helping me de-hoard. That is my maze. I was talking figuratively leading me out of a maze. Sometimes you are so quick to disagree with me that i think if you gave yourself 5 seconds, you would see you dont not agree with me.

stopdog · May 26, 2015, 08:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hankster

My t is helping me de-hoard. That is my maze. I was talking figuratively leading me out of a maze. Sometimes you are so quick to disagree with me that i think if you gave yourself 5 seconds, you would see you dont not agree with me.

I like you but I do disagree with you. Even if I took ten seconds.

I did know you did not mean a literal maze.

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NYTimes article from a therapist

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