[silverlining345]

I've lost all desire to get better or get well. I've lost desire in everything.

[Leah123]

This may sound odd, but.... I've found sometimes we just really need to acknowledge those feelings, do what other people might call wallowing in them, but is really just giving ourselves a rest from an exhausting struggle of trying to muster up energy for optimism or over-achievement. A lack of desire is usually transitory, and if you accept it, you will get to the next stage in time. It's okay to be worn out. I used to be so afraid I would break if I admitted to that, that if I got stuck in that place, I'd NEVER make it out, but I absolutely have, more than once.

Can you wait it out safely, or are you suicidal?

[silverlining345]

I think I can wait it out. Although I've been feeling like my life is pointless.

[wotchermuggle]

I, too, have have found that sometimes it's okay to say, "my life feels like s*** today, but I've had good days before and I'll have good days again." Sometimes, life f-ing sucks and it's okay to acknowledge that without heaping more guilt on top.

[Leah123]

Sometimes it helps me to vent too, I hope if there's anything bothering you, you know this is a pretty good place to unload it.

[SoupDragon]

I too sometimes feel that life is pointless and sometimes when I accept that, I find some point in it for myself, simple things like listening to the sounds outside, birds, cars, night sky and just even noticing my breathing and then I can become in awe of life and find it quite special.

Maybe the point in life is not some big thing, but the small things.

[ruh roh]

I don't know how long this has been going on for you, but it's been a struggle of mine for years. When it gets to be unbearable, and feel endless, I know it's physiological. No degree of trying to work with it, or be with it, is useful. I've had to go the med route, which helps on one end, but is equally despairing on the other.

What has helped me is finding things that physically give me more energy (fresh air, laughing at cat videos, walking my dog). Even though it doesn't give my life meaning, it helps get air into my brain. Lately, I've found some peace in accepting that I just don't know what the point is, and that's okay. I don't know why this has helped me, but it has.

I guess I mostly just want to say that I understand.

[silverlining345]

I went for a short run today. I had to force myself.

I think the depression may have grabbed me up again or it may be from the grief of losing my uncle on May 21st.

[spicedlife]

I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I am new here but I learned from my T that a person can have what is called a depressive episode where one might feel suicidal or feel the same way you do right now. My T said that a major stress event can bring it on and that there is a beginning and thankfully, an end. It happened to me recently and really scared me but she was right! I said " oh happy day" it would be nice if someone had told me this could happen years ago!