[melania]

Can someone tell me is it safe to talk to T about another T who crossed the line? I don't want to cause him problems, I think it would be easy to find out who he is if I told and if my T will know who he is and what he did- can she report him?
I really don't want to do anything bad to him but I need to talk to someone who understands me, I don't know where to go. Sometimes I think I can go through this on my own but sometimes it seems like hell, I can't see any help anywhere, maybe all I need is time to heal this.
My choice is not to report him and I will not change my mind so I want to know how to ask for help myself not causing problems to him, if my current T would find out who he is and report him, she will destroy my trust, she will destroy me but I'm worried she would think she is right.

[growlycat]

If ex T crossed the line and you told new t, I think new T has to report it but I'm not sure.

It does seem important to talk about it and I hope that you can do so anyways. You can't be responsible for what happens to ex T. Ext made his own choices.

Correct me if I am wrong, but didn't you say you are pregnant by this other therapist? I don't know how you cannot be honest with your new therapist about who the father is and the circumstances that preceeded this pregnancy and why the pregnancy is probably particularly stressful for you and have your current therapy be terribly helpful for you. That's a lot of lying and covering up to keep straight in order to avoid the real issue. I do hope you can find a way to be honest with your current therapist. I know you don't want to report the offending therapist, but perhaps it is time to put yourself first rather than protecting the person who took advantage of you. You need to go into parenthood as strong and proactive as possible. You are in a difficult situation; I hope you can find a way to regain your own healthy control of your life.

[ThisWayOut]

I agree with both above comments. I know it can be hard though. I hope you can reach out to process this with your T. Perhaps telling her your fears about discussing somethign big with her, what you are afraid would happen, and how you feel about possible actions...

I'm so sorry you are in this situation, melania. I have no idea what the laws and ethical guidelines for therapists in Lithuania say, so it's hard to know whether your current T would be required to report him or not... but I really think that you deserve to have somebody help you through this situation, and I hope you can find a way to tell your T. You shouldn't have to go through this alone.

[precaryous]

I don't know the laws where you live...whether a subsequent T is required to report.

I had a similar situation to yours. I told my subsequent T about what happened but I refused to give his name. Without a name, she could not report him.

I am glad you are looking for someone to talk to about the exploitation. It's difficult if not impossible to make sense of it alone.❤️

[PinkFlamingo99]

I know here, ethical violations are at the discretion of the therapist about whether or not to report. However, sexual violations like that are required.