T noticing things you do/bring in therapy

I had a friend who wore the same stained sweatshirt everytime she saw her pdoc to screw with him. It had tweety bird on it and a huge grape juice looking stain.

I don't wear much make-up either. Only some foundation because I'm self conscious about my skin. I never wear eye make-up, because I'm afraid I might cry, in therapy or before. And I don't want that all over my face.

My T once commented on my hair. I had colored a little bit darker. She said that's a sign I still care a bit about my looks/appearance. She said lots of people with sesvere depression don't care about their looks anymore. But how depressed I'm feeling, I will shower every day, I brush my teeth, wash my face, brush my hair. At home I walk around in sweats. But when I leave the house I do try to look at least a little bit decent. I don't want to give people any more reasons to looks at me with disgust.

I think appearance is very important. It's the way we bring ourselves into the world and relationships and says so many things. I can't think of appearance as not relevant - but at the same time, I don't think it's always necessary to discuss it in therapy at all. Sometimes, though, I find it useful to see how things change. It can speak to a greater change on the inside. But it's important to explore it in therapy when necessary, rather than a therapist jumping to conclusions about what a change might mean. Sometimes it means something, other times it doesn't.Sometimes it means something entirely different from what others (therapist included) might expect.

He never did that. I don't think he's the kind of guy who notices if you're wearing a new shirt or something. He did notice body language. I could always see him looking at my hands or legs when I was making nervous movements. Or when I'd say I was feeling fine, he'd sometimes say that I looked more relaxed then before.

T knows never to judge where I am basses on appearance. Often I will dress up more to mask where I am emotionally. Sometimes I dress up because I am in a very dark place and hope that feeling I look better it will help my mood some. T comments that I learned at an early age to put a mask on and I do it a lot.

I think that pdocs have historically been predominantly male and have tended to consider that a woman attending to her appearance is a sign of good mental health. There's something that doesn't sit quite right with me about that.

my T notices my clothes and appearance. like if im wearing something new or if i look pale.

T notices the length on my sleeves. The longer the more I'm battling SH or self-esteem. I always shower and brush my hair the day before seeing her and make sure I am presentable for session. If I dressed how I do in the house or look how I feel, I think she would be beyond concern. At this point I only shower if I have an appointment with her. I brush my hair maybe twice a week, as I go to work and need it to look decent.

I definitely relate to this. at first I was kinda like "slow your roll, dude" when T started commenting on my clothes. but then I realized he's a metro and loves talking about clothes, the performative nature of gender and he wasn't being weird. sometimes I bring in sacks of new makeup and do weird in person YouTube haul type things. which he's surprisingly a good sport about. we talk a lot about the male gaze, body image, size confidence (I'm built like skinnier Jill Scott and he says "I own it" which makes me lol bc he's so WASPy.). he says my style is cool which makes me laugh because I totally dress like goth toddler pretty pretty princess.

She doesn't mention things like clothes or hair, which I would hate. She's only commented on physical appearance when it was health related. Each time, her observation was relevant and helpful. She's very good about not looking me up and down, like some have done.

My individual T will compliment my clothes or shoes sometimes. She's very stylish, so I always feel good if she likes something I'm wearing. Of course, it's possible she's just trying to make me feel good if she knows I'm having a rough time, but it seems genuine. There was one day a couple weeks ago where a patient in the waiting room complimented my shoes, the receptionist complimented my purse, and then my T also said something nice about my shoes. I was like, wow, apparently I'm really looking good today!

My T also has a kind of running joke about offering me water or coffee when I come in. I always bring my own bottle of water that I stash in my purse, but she still asks. She was trying to come up with more creative ways to ask, and the one day was like, "Need any libations?" One of these days I should just ask for coffee, just to throw her!

Marriage counselor never comments on anything I have with me or am wearing (he...is not the most stylish), but I can tell sometimes he's observing things. Like watching as I set my iced tea or water on the table, noticing that I'm playing with my hands or a necklace or my hair. Etc. Just not saying anything.

Since I almost always come in with a fidget toy if she sees I didn't bring one she will start looking through her desk for something for my hands to play with while we talk. Sometimes I say "I don't need one today", but then I move around too much, so it's just best if I bring one.

I don't bring anything but mine comments on my clothes sometimes. We both like clothes.

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Occasionally, she does. A lot of it is during the winter though. I'm particular about not hanging up my coat, and she kept saying that everyone else hangs up their coat. Do you want to look strange? That kind of thing. I just don't want to lose my coat. After my first few months of seeing her, she said that my hair looked clean. I pretty sure my hair was always clean but whatev yo.

Mine makes no comment, but I assume she's watching for consistency in grooming and all that. I once had a tiny band-aid and she asked immediately what happened there?

I'd actually like to be complimented on hair, clothes, etc but realize it's not happening in session. And that comes enough from coworkers and friends, so whatever.

Oh...she does notice if I bring a hi-cal soda (an eyebrow goes up). Those are my bad days.

I am always clean before I go to therapy. I make sure of that. Not sure why it matters...but I care about being clean for therapy more than anything else. I pretty much always go in comfy clothes, shorts, scrubs, yoga pants and a t-shirt or sweatshirt. I'm not a dressy person. I always have my hair down, so I can hide behind it. Interesting about the Band-Aid, my T has always asked me about it when she sees one. I don't like it.

I simply don't respond or tell her it is not relevant when she asks questions that I think are out of line. They can ask, but I am not compelled to answer.

I would be put out if the woman thought I cared if she liked how I dressd or wore my hair etc. it has nothing at all to do with her.

Mine has noticed little things that caught me off guard. If I sat in a different place, or did anything unusual. She never said it in a weird way, or pushed it. We would sometimes have to move offices. One time we were in an office (not hers) that was kind of small. It had a desk facing the back wall and a chair for the desk that she sat in. My options were another chair that was rather stiff looking, and a very cushy-looking couch. So we were talking as we went in there; I saw the couch and just plopped down on it, then laid down longways in it and joked that it was time for a nap. She smiled, and said something along the lines of "Hmmm... does this mean something?" It caught me off guard, because I started thinking "Does it??" I said "Yeah.. like I said.. I need a nap!" She looked at me like she wasn't convinced, and we moved on. It doesn't happen very often. And it's never been about clothes, hair or accessories.. except when I was in my deepest depression and would come in disheveled.

She noticed other things from time to time too. But she always verbalized just "wondering" if it meant anything. She never suggested that it absolutely did, or acted like she 'knew' what it meant. I don't remember us discussing her observations. However, it always, always, Always reminded me that she was always looking at/for things I may not be aware of. It didn't creep me out or make me self-conscious though, because she has earned my trust, wholly. I just thought of it as part of her training as a therapist to see things beyond what I might see.

I guess it's kind of like my work in neurophysiology, specifically seizure disorders. Patients will show me videos; I will ask a lot of questions to get good descriptions of what takes place. I frequently see things in the videos that the family will not be aware of having clinical meaning. They are sometimes shocked to find out that the irritability or rage they see in the patient after a seizure is part of the post-ictal state. Or that the patient's weird sensation of their stomach rising before the seizure starts is actually a before-seizure aura that indicates the seizures start focal. So I've always thought of my therapist noticing things as being kind of like that.

My therapist had commented on my weight loss on occasion. It has been up and down but she always seems to notice when I lose a little more. Being able to exercise is a thing for me. She comments on clothes ("I like your she's/pants/coast etc.) at random intervals over the years. I try to reform the favor every now and then.
It feels a bit forced sometimes but I still appreciate it.

Not about my clothing of appearance but if in reading of listening to music, she'll always ask about it. I always bring my journal, the content if which is usually discussed in some manner or other during therapy

I pretty much look the same every time I go to T. I bring my phone and my keys and I dress comfortably because it makes me more at ease. I'm sure she notices what I wear but it doesn't really warrant a comment from her because it's the same type of clothes nearly every time.

Trigger SI

Mine has commented on weight loss. She also commented on SI on my wrist, and when I said she was looking for it she said she was looking at my dress and thinking it was nice, then noticed my wrist. And I thought 'oh, she likes my dress! '

CBT T has noticed new shirts or handbags. Which was nice I suppose until one day he used my handbag in a not so nice analogy.

Exactly, its the way we present ourselves to the world. Granted, everyday we might not feel up to getting ready or lazy, but presentation is important. It says a lot about you.

OK, now I want to know what the analogy was!