T noticing things you do/bring in therapy

Mine does that too! I always wear a sweater --even now because of scars. She'll pick my sweater or coat up off where I dump them on the floor next to where I'm sitting and put them on an empty chair and say she doesn't like seeing my stuff on the dirty floor.

I had a t who commented on my clothing every single session. She seemed to always like my shirt or shorts or pants or skirt or shoes, or even the paint on my toenails. It drove me crazy and I hated it. It just seemed fake to me that she could like something every single time I saw her. And seemed shallow of her to comment on it all the time too. The t I see now doesn't comment on the way I look or the clothing I wear and I'm glad. She will comment on things I bring in, so she does notice.

Using my appearance as a way of gauging my mood would be totally ineffective. I am always very put together (makeup, clothes, hair, nails) regardless of how I feel. Even if I'm feeling depressed, I don't LOOK like I am. I suppose you could say that my depression doesn't get that bad then-- which is probably true. But there are definitely times I feel great, and times I don't-- and there is no way to use visual cues to tell the difference

I am somewhat disheveled and wear sneakers or loafers and khakis and oxford cloth shirts 99% of the time no matter what unless I have to be in court.
Judging my mood on appearance would not be accurate.
The first one was snotty at me one time about wearing a coat at the appointment - I was cold and kept it on and she kept commenting on it despite my assurances that I knew when I was cold or not and could dress myself. The only other time I wore in a coat she was freakish about telling me not to forget it - there really was no making her happy so from then on I never wore a winter coat or jacket in - I leave it in my car or on the bike.

The second one I see has never said a word about appearance at all.

Oh I can so relate. I always look well put together and so does my house. Always. Doesn't mean anything

Heck I tried to look good when I was in the hospital brought by ambulance to ER after bad accident and my car totaled last week. I was on a bed with neck collar on in major pain in head neck and shoulder and deaf on one ear. And I managed to pull my compact out to see how to fix my hair and make sure I don't look like a mess lol lol lol I cried so my mascara was smeared, I was mortified! Lol lol



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On occasions when I'm overly perfect in my appearance those are the days I'm feeling the worst inside.

I'm super high femme and do not ever leave my house unless my hair, clothes (even my workout clothes are stylish and fierce) and makeup are on point. i love being dolled up and do so regardless of how I feel so my appearance isn't a good metric for gauging my emotional state. fortunately T doesn't use it to take my emotional temperature any more than I use his appearance to take his.

I haven't gotten a lot of affirmation for my looks until recently. partly to easily looking 15 years younger than my chronological age and that having real social currency now that I'm in my 40s and live a suburban life where most women my age are dealing wrinkles and aging in a more typical way.

T thought I was 24! and was floored I was around the same age as his wife who is stunning but looks like a 40ish y/o woman. so sometimes his comments on my appearance are often because of that. it's something we talk about a lot because I'm still not comfortable with suddenly being considered really attractive.

I used to carry my purse on me before it fell apart, and my T commented on when I didn't bring it in. And one time one of my Ts noticed and commented that I wasn't wearing my wedding ring.

Yup same here

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My t always comments if I wear T-shirts with sayings on them or have done something to my hair or have new clothes. I often wonder why or what significance it has for him.

I see my T twice a week, and I don't think she'd notice if I had new clothes on. That's weird to me. I did bring a backpack in once. My only purpose for bringing it was to hold it. I knew I might have a rough session, and the only pillow in her office is behind her back in her chair. It was too warm for a jacket or sweatshirt, so I brought a backpack that had a couple books/notebooks in it. She did ask me if it was new. I didn't like that. It wasn't new, but she would never have had a reason to see it before that day.

Sometimes T makes a remark about my clothing, jewelry or etc. I usually wear all black.

I don't agree. Or rather, the exact same "presentation" will mean different things, or nothing at all, depending on the person. People are welcome to judge me by my clothing if it makes them feel better, as long as they don't tell me about it - they would be wrong no matter what they thought, but that makes no difference to me.

I always look put together. I would never show up looking frumpy or looking like I haven't had a shower. That would never happen. I also always wear make up. I never cry. Yet I'm depressed.
It annoys me that those things (that I'm sure my therapist notices but hasn't ever commented on, thank god) are supposedly things used to gauge my state of mind.
I was told I wasn't depressed by another (male) therapist because I looked fine on the surface. It was very unvalidating and I left furious.

He commented on liking a new handbag I brought to session.

However, a few sessions later told a little story about how my anxiety and my past are like a really ugly and heavy handbag I may have to carry around for the rest of my life.

1. What happened to the hope? CBT T was always saying how he thought he could help me??
2. Leave my accessories out of it!!

I once wore a tshirt I found and bought ironically that said "head over heels in love with life!" And my old pdoc who NEVER cracked a smile laughed really hard. I was like, "what? I thought it was a nice message."

T has never commented on my appearance, but I have noticed him looking at my jewelry. One time I had a long necklace on and he kept glancing down and looking at it. I tend to play with my bracelets or rings, so he notices them as well.

When we have actual in person sessions (which is rare because we are on different sides of the world) she notices EVERYTHING. Every.little.thing.
I miss it. I miss being seen.