Changing core beliefs???

Yeah the evil negative introject. Its THEIR opinion of you, but YOU claim it as your own..

I distinguish between my core beliefs and my core self or true inner nature. I have no desire to change my inner nature. I am resilient, compassionate and brave. I see my negative core beliefs as a sort of psychic injury that cripples the full expression of my true self. Thus as I release them I become more myself which is an empowering idea. But given the deep seated nature of my self hatred, that I never remember a time before I felt ashamed ( shame is the first emotion I remember. ), it seems less like using a muscle and more like the removal of a tumor and then the healing that must come afterwards

I think there is hope. I agree with you BB that these beliefs are so deeply ingrained at such young ages that purely cognitive rebuttals fall flat. But what worked for me was the combination of my T's emotional orientation towards me and cognitive focus because the relationship between us was both adult to child (emotionally) and adult to adult (cognitively). The relationship was hugely important, but it had to be enacted moment by moment at an emotional level, and any cognitive response only worked if it was bound to a reparative emotional response. Over and over and over again. That is what "reparenting" in therapy was to me, and it did replace destructive beliefs with life-enhancing ones.

Unlike FK, I didn't need the "reparenting" aspect of therapy to challenge those beliefs. I was able to do that through cognitive therapy and a lot of practice, practice, practice at becoming deliberately conscious of when those beliefs were at play in my life, actively challenging myself to counter those beliefs, and repeatedly choosing to act on the corrected belief instead of defaulting to acting on the mistaken belief. It took a LOT of time and repetition to internalize new responses and more reasoned beliefs, but eventually I was able to get there, mostly because I became so completely determined to get beyond my past so I could enjoy my life now. For me it was a completely stubborn response. ( My T's have all commented on my tenacity. It's been a quality that has caused me problems at times and driven them a bit up the wall, but ultimately that stubbornness kept me alive and drove me toward healing.)

Great minds Hankster!

I suspect it also depends upon what other influences one has in their life at the earliest ages, and if there are caretakers whose nurturing input tempers the effect of those who harmed. For those whose families were the abusers and who were isolated from nurturing from others, I think more than cognitive will alone is likely necessary. I'm sure I was also helped by a couple of my elementary school teachers, but their influence was limited by circumstance.

This. Your description sounds very like my therapy. I definitely have that same emotional adult to child and cognitive adult to adult dynamic going with my T. It's the strength of the adult connection that supports the weak, fearful childish connection. The child doesn't want to be seen - is afraid to be seen, but the adult feels comfortable, and her comfort is making the child comfortable too.

Possible. In my first 10 years of life there was no one I felt safe with except the dog. I'm pretty f $×÷ed up inside

It also sounds like mine in a lot of ways. ...

Yes I've experienced change. But not by someone telling me 'this or that'. It's by watching and experiencing T's responses to what I say and do. It's being shown that what I thought was true doesn't necessarily mean is true. It's thinking about these things and talking about them.

Yes I have. My core belief was that I was unworthy. I didn't loathe myself, but I didn't think anyone could really care about me. I thought I would be abandoned when I would truly open up or be myself. I had low self esteem.

As a child, I hardly experienced someone being emotionally available for me. Supporting me, always being there for me. Being in therapy, I got another chance at that. Now I had someone who I could always count on, who didn't judge me. Who made me feel safe. That was very healing. Once I was convinced of his support, I could step into the big bad world and practice opening up to friends, coworkers, etcetera.

I feel so different now. I believe in myself. I deserve to be loved. I don't deserve to be pushed around. I have every right to do and say things just as anyone else.

Well done Coco3. That's where I want to be.