Difficulties after a break

How do you react to therapy after a break? I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced what I seem to: the first session after a break all is well, after the second session I get overtaken by emotions, I re -experience childhood emotions that vary from feelings of rejection , humiation, feelings of self loathing, I would like to hide, I struggle not to cry.

How long of a break did you take? Was it you that initiated the break?

Yes, those feelings, though present during the break. They're held back until T returns. Sometimes they're there immediately, others they take some time to reveal themselves.

One more session for me and then my T is on a break. She hasn't had one since January, but I find myself, after she gets back, having a hard time connecting again. I just don't want to talk. Feel like I can go on without therapy. It's hard to get myself in therapy mode again to talk about things, even though while she's gone, I notice the void. I hate it. All of it.

Have my first session today after a break. I'm actually missing her before I've even gone like I know the 45 min won't be enough. It will be awkward. I always walk in to her room feeling low for needing someone's help. Last session before the break was rough so I guess we'll small chat and then try to talk. My emotions are all over the place today from thinking I should just quit because my focus is too much on her to thinking I can't wait to see her. Unfortunately, it will all depend on her reactions and mood.

I feel your pain!

We only missed a week. My T was away. In the past it didn't seem to make any difference if the break was due to me being on vacation, or to my T.

Horrible emotions. I'm trying my best to ignore them.

My last session with T was after a 3 week break. I went in and cried. I'm not even sure why. Maybe because she was so warm and kind? (at first) and it just about destroyed me. I need her to be the bad guy I imagine during the break. If not then I miss her.

I tend to pick mine apart which I think does the same thing - makes it so I don't miss her as much. I used to tell myself I didn't need my mom when she would make me mad. That's what I do - tell myself I really don't need her, I would be fine without her. Unfortunately, I'm really good at it.

Previously I've really struggled, and interestingly now I think about it I think it has been a delayed reaction, the first session back good, the next one horrible. I've struggled during breaks too. However, last week we had a break, T cancelled session the night before which I was fine about but now I just feel meh about going back, I couldn't care less if she cancels again this week.

The delayed reaction thing is funny. It also seems to be a totally unconscious thing for me. I feel fine, but then after the session the feelings creep up on me, by the evening and the next morning I don't feel good.