[ThisWayOut]

Had my second-to-last session with T today, and it was really good.
she said she disagreed with my self-report of bpd (which I had only mentioned because I had seen it on so much of my medical records I only felt it fair to warn her - kinda like "hey, look, other people agree I'm a horrid monster, so fair warning that you will likely go screaming in the other direction")... we talked about how it's unfairly stigmatized, but also often has very valid and understandable reasons for developing. She maintained that she does not see it in me (little internal happy dance as I think it's a bunk dx... I have yet to meet anyone with a bpd dx that hasn't developed it due to trauma, but that's a whole other thread)
she told me she thought I was good at my chosen profession
she said we can do a joint art project for our last session :dancingchili:
I'm really gonna miss her...

[PinkFlamingo99]

Originally Posted by ThisWayOut

Had my second-to-last session with T today, and it was really good.
she said she disagreed with my self-report of bpd (which I had only mentioned because I had seen it on so much of my medical records I only felt it fair to warn her - kinda like "hey, look, other people agree I'm a horrid monster, so fair warning that you will likely go screaming in the other direction")... we talked about how it's unfairly stigmatized, but also often has very valid and understandable reasons for developing. She maintained that she does not see it in me (little internal happy dance as I think it's a bunk dx... I have yet to meet anyone with a bpd dx that hasn't developed it due to trauma, but that's a whole other thread)
she told me she thought I was good at my chosen profession
she said we can do a joint art project for our last session :dancingchili:
I'm really gonna miss her...

I'm sorry you're going to miss her so much!

I have had the BPD diagnosis too, mostly due to SI. I don't think I have a lot of it, but I agree with the fear of abandonment. I don't know, honestly I get paranoid every time I see a mental health person that they have BPD at the back of their minds as soon as they meet me and will use it against me. I think it comes from having it used against me young when I went inpatient or to the ER for stitches and stuff.

[ThisWayOut]

Originally Posted by PinkFlamingo99

I'm sorry you're going to miss her so much!

I have had the BPD diagnosis too, mostly due to SI. I don't think I have a lot of it, but I agree with the fear of abandonment. I don't know, honestly I get paranoid every time I see a mental health person that they have BPD at the back of their minds as soon as they meet me and will use it against me. I think it comes from having it used against me young when I went inpatient or to the ER for stitches and stuff.

I hate that it's so easily and often used as a label, then it follows you... and some people do certainly use it against you, which sucks. I've been dismissed more than I care to count b/c of that one label. And most professionals don't see anything beyond it. It's really sad and pathetic on their end...
one of the biggest cop-outs I've heard from mental health professionals is the phrase "that's just your borderline speaking". BS. That phrase dismisses the validity and very real experience of the client and paints them into a box... it prevents both the clinician and the client from digging deeper to the root of whatever the client said or did that made the clinician say that. It writes off any hope in that area...
ugh. Ok. Sorry. Getting of my soap box now... lol.

[nottrustin]

Thiswayout. I am glad you had such a great session.

[nottrustin]

[quote=ThisWayOut;4505415]I hate that it's so easily and often used as a label, then it follows you... and some people do certainly use it against you, which sucks. I've been dismissed more than I care to count b/c of that one label. And most professionals don't see anything beyond it. It's really sad and pathetic on their end...
one of the biggest cop-outs I've heard from mental health professionals is the phrase "that's just your borderline speaking". BS. That phrase dismisses the validity and very real experience of the client and paints them into a box... it prevents both the clinician and the client from digging deeper to the root of whatever the client said or did that made the clinician say that. It writes off any hope in that area...

One of the Drs I work with explained BPD to me this way. Typically it stems from when a young child is not getting his/her needs met because of neglect, abuse or whatever. They learn that the way to get there needs met is through "acting out" (not his exact words). If they are hurt then the "caregiver" will seek medical attention or if the child acts "badly" the caregiver will give them attention even if it means negative. Since then when we have somebody with BPD I try to remember that most likely something horrible happened in their childhood to get them to this point. They try to get their needs met in the only way that worked for them in the past.So what they need is compassion not ridicule.

Maybe I am totally wrong?? If I am please tell me as I truly trying to understand it as well as other disorders

[ThingWithFeathers]

I'm so glad you and your t had a wonderful session. I imagine that it must feel fairly bittersweet too.

[ThisWayOut]

Originally Posted by nottrustin

One of the Drs I work with explained BPD to me this way. Typically it stems from when a young child is not getting his/her needs met because of neglect, abuse or whatever. They learn that the way to get there needs met is through "acting out" (not his exact words). If they are hurt then the "caregiver" will seek medical attention or if the child acts "badly" the caregiver will give them attention even if it means negative. Since then when we have somebody with BPD I try to remember that most likely something horrible happened in their childhood to get them to this point. They try to get their needs met in the only way that worked for them in the past.So what they need is compassion not ridicule.

Maybe I am totally wrong?? If I am please tell me as I truly trying to understand it as well as other disorders

Yes! Though they often simply get ridiculed and written off as hopeless...

I am of the belief that the diagnosis as it is generally understood needs changing. It's no longer an accurate reflection of the knowledge around those symptoms/behaviors/thought patterns. Most diagnoses have evolved over time and with new understanding. This is one of the ones that has not, and is time to fix that.

[PinkFlamingo99]

Originally Posted by ThisWayOut

Yes! Though they often simply get ridiculed and written off as hopeless...

I am of the belief that the diagnosis as it is generally understood needs changing. It's no longer an accurate reflection of the knowledge around those symptoms/behaviors/thought patterns. Most diagnoses have evolved over time and with new understanding. This is one of the ones that has not, and is time to fix that.

I think a lot of times those of us who have bad SI issues are automatically labelled BPD. It bothers me because I don't have the anger or a lot of the other stuff, just the self-harm and fear of abandonment... But a lot of people don't look past chronic self-harm. I have a feeling my new one suspects it (and she know it was a previous diagnosis, plus she works in the BPD program at the hospital). It makes me nervous but she's very understanding and patient about the SI and takes it seriously so I'm trying to tell myself even if she thinks that it's not the end of the world... But it's a hard diagnosis to get away from.

[ThisWayOut]

it's weird, because until she said that yesterday, I thought she thought I was bpd. then yesterday she challenged that...

I'm glad your t is patient with the sh... I've always found it more helpful to have someone be patient around it with me, and help maintain my personal freedom around it. I always struggled more if they wanted to force me to stop... It's kinda like having ice cream and chocolate around all the time so I can choose when/if I want any. If it's ever out of the house for too long, I binge on it for days on end when I finally get my hands on some. It's been the same with the sh. If I can feel free to engage in it as needed (without guilt or fear of repercussions), I do it a lot less than if I am told I can't, then suddenly have the opportunity.

[The_little_didgee]

I was also given the BPD and written off. It was very frustrating to get fair and proper care. This happened in the mid 1990s when the diagnosis was really popular. I got it because I reacted to an SSRI and my autistic traits were misinterpreted.

Apparently I had suppressed memories. For years I questioned myself and wondered if I was abused. Those people even told me I had PTSD because of my bad eye contact and trouble with socializing. I wondered because I have very acute senses, startle easy, had a speech delay, appeared deaf in childhood, and had social and behavior problems in school. When I learned about ASD I asked my mother about it. She told me about the things I did such as repetitive play. This was enough to get assessed. It answered so many of my questions and why I am the way I am. BPD failed to explain all that and so did all the providers who couldn't or wouldn't bother to do a thorough assessment.

It was a relief to learn my troubles were due to the way I am, not my mother or anyone else. I was really close to my parents.I always had trouble with the abuse theory because I had no memories of it. I'm finally healing. BPD didn't let me because I was accused of having motivations that I did not have nor did I relate to the criteria.

Sometimes clinicians are so blind they will try to shape a client to fit a diagnosis. BPD is over diagnosed. It is wrong.

[Rive.]

That is why I am rather anti-diagnosis. They might have their uses in some instances (mainly for informational purposes) but there is just so much wrong with its dehumanising, stigma-inducing and subjectivity (i.e. based on a particular demographic, culture, norm etc.) issues.

Basically, lumping everyone together and then judging others by this standard. That is wrong on so many levels.

Not to mention the pitfalls of diagnosis itself (e.g. notions of validity when many 'disorders' share similar symptoms etc. etc)

[iheartjacques]

I wonder what my last session will be like. I haven't had a good ending yet.