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#1
Jun 16, 2015, 08:40 PM
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Trigger warning (i'm so sorry):
When I let my emotions go and say all my thoughts I can't help but feel like my old-T was disgusted with me. Things like: I deserve to be hurt I'm a waste of life My family/friends deserve better then me I want to tear my body a part. |
 baseline, growlycat
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#2
Jun 16, 2015, 08:49 PM
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Yes.
I'm trying to get a handle on fitness and healthy weight management. I'm not getting very far. Maybe he thinks I'm huge and gross. |
| baseline, Inner_Firefly
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 Ad Intra
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#3
Jun 16, 2015, 09:07 PM
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I feel like mine must think i am horrible and find me disgusting but i also think everyone else feels this way too. I dont blame them though i hate myself.
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| RedSun
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#4
Jun 16, 2015, 09:15 PM
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I used to feel like that. What helped me was working with touch - holding hands, hugging,..
__________________
Sometimes you leave the homes you build, but most times, they leave you. |
| unaluna
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#5
Jun 16, 2015, 09:34 PM
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hmm yeah..i feel like he wishes i would stop coming to appts all together...so he doesnt have to work with me...
but i keep on going back...i feel sorry for him that he has to deal with me. |
| baseline, RedSun
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#6
Jun 16, 2015, 09:37 PM
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No I have not. Do you talk to the therapist about it? Could they reassure you?
__________________
Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
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#7
Jun 16, 2015, 09:47 PM
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To those of you who believe your T is disgusted with you or has negative feelings towards you, I say I am sorry and that you may want to consider finding a new T. For myself, I want a T who believes in me. If he/she does not, I have no use for them, nor do they deserve a dime of my hard earned money.
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| Myrto
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#8
Jun 16, 2015, 09:52 PM
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I'm sorry you feel this way. I feel it too. I was sexual abused as a child so I believe I am disgusting to everyone.
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| growlycat, RedSun
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#9
Jun 17, 2015, 12:14 AM
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Quote:
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| growlycat, pbutton
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#10
Jun 17, 2015, 01:39 AM
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I am very sorry you think that t or in fact anyone is grossed out by you. I believe you do need to tell t that you feel like this. They are professionals working with people and if they are grossed out by their clients they aren't in a right career. It is very likely it is your belief and is very far from true please talk to your t about it.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
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#11
Jun 17, 2015, 02:25 AM
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Yes, I do.
*trigger csa* I did some disgusting things when I was younger and now she knows. The logical part of me tries to 'know' that actually she just cares, but a bigger part of me thinks she doesn't want me in her home, on her chair etc. I don't think it would change this feeling if I changed T. My T has never done anything to make me feel disgusting. Someone else did that. |
| baseline, growlycat
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#12
Jun 17, 2015, 03:17 AM
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If she's not...she should be...
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| growlycat
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#13
Jun 17, 2015, 04:03 AM
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Hmm yes perhaps I think. I might have used a less powerful word, that she dislikes me, but maybe bordering on disgust. Logically it isn't likely that she feels this, I can see the feeling is my projection, but it is still there.
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#14
Jun 17, 2015, 04:11 AM
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Quote:
It usually goes something like: "You must be so sick of me. You must be so fed up with me. You must hate it when you see my name on your day's schedule. I must be so disgusting to you. You must wish I'd go away. How can you stand me?" Any or all of these.... |
| Fuzzybear, pbutton
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#15
Jun 17, 2015, 04:15 AM
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...........
Last edited by Anonymous200320; Jun 17, 2015 at 06:47 AM. |
| Ellahmae, growlycat, nervous puppy, RedSun
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#16
Jun 17, 2015, 05:30 AM
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Quote:
If I would go to another T, I would believe she doesn't like me, that she rather sees me leave. I've had that with other T's. I have that with my current T and I don't have any prove that she thinks I'm disgusting. |
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#17
Jun 17, 2015, 05:32 AM
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Current T: haven't had those thoughts yet. Don't care about her so much.
Ex T: Totally. It confused me. |
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#18
Jun 17, 2015, 05:56 AM
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To believe someone finds us disgusting we must first have felt that way about someone/thing too.
We have to 'know' that experience. Taking that into account, who our what disgusted us? Thinking about it like that, we can see how it's our projection. |
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#19
Jun 17, 2015, 06:35 AM
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Reading this thread makes me think of the couple of threads on core beliefs. Thinking others find you gross is a very much core belief and a very mistaken one. I would most certainly bring it up with the t because such belief is detrimental and is deeply damaging to all of yours self esteem ( those of you who said yes)
I am personally disgusted by drug dealers, child abusers and pimps etc you got the picture. I don't find anybody else gross. Why would your t? By your weight or looks or experiences.....? That just must be brought up for your own sake Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
| Chummy, growlycat, unaluna
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#20
Jun 17, 2015, 08:08 AM
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There are parts of me that I find (as an emotional reaction) disgusting and repulsive. The amazing thing that my therapist has done is shown kindness and acceptance to all of me--physically, emotionally, spiritually. When I talk about how much I hate my body or another aspect of my personhood, he listens and shows me compassion. Growing up, I didn't have any models of self-acceptance or self-love. He's been a fantastic model of how to do deal with my feelings of repulsiveness and being disgusting.
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#21
Jun 17, 2015, 08:16 AM
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My ex-therapist was totally disgusted with me and he let me know it.
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| Ad Intra, growlycat, precaryous
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#22
Jun 17, 2015, 08:20 AM
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No. I am disgusted by me.
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#23
Jun 17, 2015, 08:21 AM
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Yes. I think my T is disgusted by me and hates me.
Intellectually I know it's not accurate because T barely knows me, but it's some form of transference. I have not been able to bring it up, because I doubt I would believe the response anyway. I am not disgusted by my T nor do I hate my T, but I just think everyone feels this way about me. If you bring it up with your T, let us know. I'd like to hear the response. |
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#24
Jun 17, 2015, 09:39 AM
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Idk. In summer school one year i had a boyfriend who was so harsh looking he was cute. Its like the ugliest dog contest. Or Sean Penn.
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#25
Jun 17, 2015, 04:54 PM
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Quote:
So sorry how awful of him! Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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