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  #1  
Old Jun 16, 2015, 08:40 PM
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Ad Intra Ad Intra is offline
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Trigger warning (i'm so sorry):
When I let my emotions go and say all my thoughts I can't help but feel like my old-T was disgusted with me.
Things like:
I deserve to be hurt
I'm a waste of life
My family/friends deserve better then me
I want to tear my body a part.
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  #2  
Old Jun 16, 2015, 08:49 PM
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Yes.

I'm trying to get a handle on fitness and healthy weight management. I'm not getting very far. Maybe he thinks I'm huge and gross.
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Ad Intra
  #3  
Old Jun 16, 2015, 09:07 PM
Anonymous37884
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I feel like mine must think i am horrible and find me disgusting but i also think everyone else feels this way too. I dont blame them though i hate myself.
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  #4  
Old Jun 16, 2015, 09:15 PM
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I used to feel like that. What helped me was working with touch - holding hands, hugging,..
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  #5  
Old Jun 16, 2015, 09:34 PM
timentimeagain timentimeagain is offline
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hmm yeah..i feel like he wishes i would stop coming to appts all together...so he doesnt have to work with me...
but i keep on going back...i feel sorry for him that he has to deal with me.
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  #6  
Old Jun 16, 2015, 09:37 PM
stopdog stopdog is offline
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No I have not. Do you talk to the therapist about it? Could they reassure you?
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  #7  
Old Jun 16, 2015, 09:47 PM
Anonymous100325
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To those of you who believe your T is disgusted with you or has negative feelings towards you, I say I am sorry and that you may want to consider finding a new T. For myself, I want a T who believes in me. If he/she does not, I have no use for them, nor do they deserve a dime of my hard earned money.
Thanks for this!
Myrto
  #8  
Old Jun 16, 2015, 09:52 PM
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AllHeart AllHeart is offline
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I'm sorry you feel this way. I feel it too. I was sexual abused as a child so I believe I am disgusting to everyone.
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  #9  
Old Jun 17, 2015, 12:14 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by growlycat View Post
Yes.

I'm trying to get a handle on fitness and healthy weight management. I'm not getting very far. Maybe he thinks I'm huge and gross.
Thats the mistaken core beliefs. One time i misspoke and said, "yeah ill see it when i believe it" instead of "ill believe it when i see it." Then i thought, no wait - which way IS true??
Thanks for this!
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  #10  
Old Jun 17, 2015, 01:39 AM
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I am very sorry you think that t or in fact anyone is grossed out by you. I believe you do need to tell t that you feel like this. They are professionals working with people and if they are grossed out by their clients they aren't in a right career. It is very likely it is your belief and is very far from true please talk to your t about it.



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  #11  
Old Jun 17, 2015, 02:25 AM
RedSun RedSun is offline
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Yes, I do.

*trigger csa*
I did some disgusting things when I was younger and now she knows. The logical part of me tries to 'know' that actually she just cares, but a bigger part of me thinks she doesn't want me in her home, on her chair etc.

I don't think it would change this feeling if I changed T. My T has never done anything to make me feel disgusting. Someone else did that.
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  #12  
Old Jun 17, 2015, 03:17 AM
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precaryous precaryous is offline
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If she's not...she should be...
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  #13  
Old Jun 17, 2015, 04:03 AM
Anonymous50122
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Hmm yes perhaps I think. I might have used a less powerful word, that she dislikes me, but maybe bordering on disgust. Logically it isn't likely that she feels this, I can see the feeling is my projection, but it is still there.
  #14  
Old Jun 17, 2015, 04:11 AM
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ECHOES ECHOES is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ad Intra View Post
Trigger warning (i'm so sorry):
When I let my emotions go and say all my thoughts I can't help but feel like my old-T was disgusted with me.
Things like:
I deserve to be hurt
I'm a waste of life
My family/friends deserve better then me
I want to tear my body a part.
Yes, and I tell her when I'm feeling this way. It keeps coming back, so we look at when it comes back - what's going on for this feeling to come back at this time.

It usually goes something like:
"You must be so sick of me. You must be so fed up with me. You must hate it when you see my name on your day's schedule. I must be so disgusting to you. You must wish I'd go away. How can you stand me?"
Any or all of these....
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  #15  
Old Jun 17, 2015, 04:15 AM
Anonymous200320
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...........

Last edited by Anonymous200320; Jun 17, 2015 at 06:47 AM.
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  #16  
Old Jun 17, 2015, 05:30 AM
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Chummy Chummy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistysea View Post
To those of you who believe your T is disgusted with you or has negative feelings towards you, I say I am sorry and that you may want to consider finding a new T. For myself, I want a T who believes in me. If he/she does not, I have no use for them, nor do they deserve a dime of my hard earned money.
The thing is, not all our believes are true.
If I would go to another T, I would believe she doesn't like me, that she rather sees me leave. I've had that with other T's. I have that with my current T and I don't have any prove that she thinks I'm disgusting.
  #17  
Old Jun 17, 2015, 05:32 AM
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nervous puppy nervous puppy is offline
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Current T: haven't had those thoughts yet. Don't care about her so much.
Ex T: Totally. It confused me.
  #18  
Old Jun 17, 2015, 05:56 AM
Anonymous37903
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To believe someone finds us disgusting we must first have felt that way about someone/thing too.
We have to 'know' that experience.
Taking that into account, who our what disgusted us?
Thinking about it like that, we can see how it's our projection.
  #19  
Old Jun 17, 2015, 06:35 AM
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divine1966 divine1966 is offline
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Reading this thread makes me think of the couple of threads on core beliefs. Thinking others find you gross is a very much core belief and a very mistaken one. I would most certainly bring it up with the t because such belief is detrimental and is deeply damaging to all of yours self esteem ( those of you who said yes)

I am personally disgusted by drug dealers, child abusers and pimps etc you got the picture. I don't find anybody else gross. Why would your t? By your weight or looks or experiences.....?

That just must be brought up for your own sake

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Thanks for this!
Chummy, growlycat, unaluna
  #20  
Old Jun 17, 2015, 08:08 AM
justdesserts justdesserts is offline
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There are parts of me that I find (as an emotional reaction) disgusting and repulsive. The amazing thing that my therapist has done is shown kindness and acceptance to all of me--physically, emotionally, spiritually. When I talk about how much I hate my body or another aspect of my personhood, he listens and shows me compassion. Growing up, I didn't have any models of self-acceptance or self-love. He's been a fantastic model of how to do deal with my feelings of repulsiveness and being disgusting.
  #21  
Old Jun 17, 2015, 08:16 AM
Anonymous37890
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My ex-therapist was totally disgusted with me and he let me know it.
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  #22  
Old Jun 17, 2015, 08:20 AM
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No. I am disgusted by me.
  #23  
Old Jun 17, 2015, 08:21 AM
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Yes. I think my T is disgusted by me and hates me.
Intellectually I know it's not accurate because T barely knows me, but it's some form of transference.
I have not been able to bring it up, because I doubt I would believe the response anyway.
I am not disgusted by my T nor do I hate my T, but I just think everyone feels this way about me.

If you bring it up with your T, let us know. I'd like to hear the response.
  #24  
Old Jun 17, 2015, 09:39 AM
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Idk. In summer school one year i had a boyfriend who was so harsh looking he was cute. Its like the ugliest dog contest. Or Sean Penn.
  #25  
Old Jun 17, 2015, 04:54 PM
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divine1966 divine1966 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by puzzle_bug1987 View Post
My ex-therapist was totally disgusted with me and he let me know it.

So sorry how awful of him!

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