[coldnovemberrain]

not sure what is the technical term...form of transference...or projection...or something..

I have realized that at times when i talk to my T...i am scared of him...i think he will scream at me..belittle me...and not take me seriously...just like my father.

My T is NOTHING like my father ofcourse...not age wise...not personality wise...completely opposite in all aspects !

I challenge myself to talk openly and see that he does listen, validates and cares.

i actually like this dynamic...cuz i feel i will not be attached to him...and there will be a distance...as .01% will be somewhat scared of him. its like i can see him be upset and mad at me. i can imagine what that would like...his facial expression and all...even though he has not been upset with me yet. he has been pretty calm and cool ! but its like it could happen and i know what that would look like.

does it make sense?
is this negative transference? good thing? bad thing?

[Leah123]

That sounds like typical transference indeed, you are projecting your expectations for relationships with male figures who you rely on onto your therapist, so that you expect him, on some level, to react like your father did.

It's not a good or bad thing, it's natural, though it's helpful to be aware of it! I believe the good comes from talking about it. That allows you to work through it and change it so that you can see things more clearly and work through any pain caused by your father's anger and dismissiveness in your life.

[feralkittymom]

I've always thought of negative transference as a more pervasive view. I think it's perfectly natural to have fluctuating feelings, and examining them leads to understanding--a big part of what therapy can be about. The more you experience your T not responding as your father did, the less often you will feel the negative feelings. That's what healing is. But don't be surprised if attachment grows from this experience.

[coldnovemberrain]

Phew...I was so afraid...if I let my T know of these fears..he would say nope...this will not work...u need to work with a different T ...
I am so relieved ...thanks Leah123

[ThisWayOut]

I went through a very similar thing with my most recent T (and actually, the one before that too)... and they were both women, but I reacted to them like I would have my dad. We talked about it, and it helped to both be aware of it. I agree it can a normal thing...
It sucked when I was pulled into those old reactions over and over again, but both T's were able to point it out to me (or agree when I suggested my strong reactions were transference). I also agree that attachment may well develop despite the transference. I kinda think my own was stronger b/c I not only realized that I was reacting to the past, but that both previous T's actively reacted differently than I expected, which built a sense of safety and trust...

[Cinnamon_Stick]

I have been feeling both sides of the spectrum. I have very intense negative transference for the woman that prescribes my medication (not sure what she is called) to the point where we had a major blow out and I need to find someone new. I have very intense positive transference for my T. It is so weird to feel them both at the same intensity at the same time.

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