[AnxiousGirl]

I'm 19 and I've been seeing a psychologist for about a year now (for GAD and other issues I rather not discuss). Anyways, in the first few months I was actually excited to go and I never really got upset or anything, but for the past month or so it's been the complete opposite. It's not the therapist or anything, she's amazing, it's me. I can't tell her how I feel about anything, and if I do it's in an email and then in the session I pretend like I'm fine and I'm over the thing I sent the email about. I haven't seen her in 2 weeks and I was supposed to go today but I cancelled it because I didn't want to discuss the email I sent last week. ( I told her I cancelled because I was busy with school, which is sort of true). So this means I won't see her for 3 weeks and my next session is next week. To be honest I sort of like cancelling because this way I dont freak out for a week then feel horrible about myself after. I'm also feeling REALLY ashamed about my anxiety disorder and going to therapy is just making me feel worse by just sitting there and telling her about everything I'm afraid of.

Anyways I guess what I'm trying to get to is, is it normal to begin to resent therapy and feel anxious when discussing such personal things? Do I tell her the real reason I didn't go today or leave it alone?

Thanks for those who read it

[Cinnamon_Stick]

I think its normal. Its hard to open up and tell anyone personal things about you and trust that you won't be judged. I would tell your T what is going on. She can only help you if you tell her what is going on.

[Middlemarcher]

I've gone through plenty of periods where I resented therapy, or even my T. So I go in and tell my T that, and we talk about it, and she's always fine with that. I hope you can tell your T what you've written here, and I hope you get what you need in all this.

[Chummy]

I think it's normal what you're feeling. Not that long ago I didn't went to a session because I was too anxious to talk about things. That anxiety had already been building up until it was so bad that I really was afraid to go. My T was understanding. I send her an email about why I was so anxious and we talked about it in the next session.
I'm actually anxious for next session and I would rather cancel. But I know that won't help me.

I also have an anxiety disorder, it isn't as bad as it was first. I was ashamed to tell her things that made me anxious. And I still don't like to talk about things I used to be anxious about to other people than my T. My pdoc asked me one time for some examples but I felt ashamed about it even though it doesn't give me anxiety anymore. Like, In the beginning with my current T, I missed a few sessions because I missed the bus. And I missed the bus because I was too afraid to get on it when I saw all those people sitting in the bus. I think that would sound strange to people and that I wold get laugh at.

Buy yeah, it's normal that you get anxious when discussing such personal things. I still get a little anxious. I think it would be in your best to be honest about it. Tell it her in an email if it would be to scary to talk about it in person. If she know about anxiety disorders, she will understand your feelings.