Couch 96: Where Furry Things Abound

growlycat · Jun 29, 2015, 08:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

GC-maybe it is time to find a new or go back to old psychodynamic one and take a break from cbt.

My insurance co found out I was doing therapy by phone so psychodynamic T is no longer covered. What I'm doing now is what I can afford at the moment. Sometimes if I'm having a really hard time I will have a full session w/old T by phone, but that gets pricey.

CBT T is sort of an experiment-- when my long term T dies, will I be able to get by? Sorry, I know I complain about him then keep seeing him. It probably looks a little crazy from the outside. I'm trying to see if I can make work for as long as I can.

Thanks for listening!!! You guys must want to shake me sometimes

growlycat · Jun 29, 2015, 08:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by artemis-within

I talked to a good friend of mine today at work and asked her if she thought i have a fear of emotional intimacy. (yes that's still bugging me.) She thought for a couple minutes, then she said well, you are guarded, it takes a long time for you to let people into your "bubble", but once you trust someone and let them into your bubble, then you're fine with it. I was like wow... she hit that nail on the head. So I told her the reason I asked was because t made that comment last week. I told her during our talk that I've been feeling like t knocked the pins out from under me. Anyway a few minutes after we got back to our desks, she came over and somberly handed me a safety pin. I looked at her and said "what's this for?" and she said "It's a pin, so you have one." I got it then, and almost started bawling right there on the call floor. What a sweet, awesome thing she did for me. How can such a tiny little thing have such huge meaning?? I pinned it to my blouse immediately. I'm going to wear it on my shirt tomorrow too. Just thought I'd share that.

Wow, that is a clever way to be supportive!! Love that!!

Jun 29, 2015, 08:44 PM

Back from puppy's Big Day Out. He learned several things today. like not all people like puppies and Green Tree Ants are better left alone. He discovered leaves are rather fun and spent a lot of time stalking and pouncing on leaves. He is exhausted and sleeping now.

Jun 29, 2015, 08:46 PM

(((granite)))

growlycat · Jun 29, 2015, 08:48 PM

I don't trust people who don't like puppies.

Leah123 · Jun 29, 2015, 08:55 PM

I'm nervous. About to set a boundary w/hubby to give myself some much needed space and rest. I am pretty sure he will not like it and feel hurt, and I will feel...... relieved to be asserting myself, but wonder how it will be if the fallout is dramatic.

I wanted to get this confrontation over this morning, but not blindside him on the way to work. Now, I've got to get a minute with him without daughter and speak up.

I'm sure doing it won't be worse than anticipating it, right? Ha.

I am surprisingly anxious sometimes about upsetting the balance. I don't really fear the consequences... I think... I must fear my childhood repeating. A lot of anger, handled badly, explosively. And of course, I don't want to upset my husband.

My therapist said the oddest thing: "Don't worry about taking care of his feelings, he has a therapist."

Good lord.... I hope it hasn't come to that point where we have our separate feelings and channel them all to therapy lol.

Jun 29, 2015, 08:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by growlycat

I don't trust people who don't like puppies.

I wish I had realised my ex didn't like puppies when I met him.....

stopdog · Jun 29, 2015, 09:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by growlycat

I don't trust people who don't like puppies.

I love my own puppies and am sometimes okay with random puppies - but sometimes not. I may not be dressed for them, or they act like puppies will and jump and get me muddy when I am going to court, or I am busy and do not have time for them or any number of reasons why in a park I might not want to engage with some one else's puppy that is not so much I hate puppies -but more - I do not wish to engage with a puppy at this time.

(I am at heart more of a cat person than a dog person despite how insanely attached to my own two dogs that I am - I am not mean to other people's dogs but I am not especially interested in engaging with them either)

BayBrony · Jun 29, 2015, 09:59 PM

1st day of T's vacation. Missed session #1 of 3 I will miss. Having a rough evening though I'm exhausted so hopefully at least I can sleep tonight. I didn't sleep last night because I was upset

precaryous · Jun 29, 2015, 10:19 PM

Sittin' here at 11:16 pm missing T for no real reason. I've said this before (sorry) but missing T feels like intense home sickness. Anyone ever feel like that?

I'm not going to bother her, of course. Nothing is wrong. Just kinda sad and missing her...

BayBrony · Jun 29, 2015, 10:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by precaryous

Sittin' here at 11:16 pm missing T for no real reason. I've said this before (sorry) but missing T feels like intense home sickness. Anyone ever feel like that?

I'm not going to bother her, of course. Nothing is wrong. Just kinda sad and missing her...

That's how I feel....

stopdog · Jun 29, 2015, 10:35 PM

I think it is okay to feel sad or whatever and not have to do anything at all about it.
(I don't feel that way around the therapist - but others I have)

Leah123 · Jun 29, 2015, 10:39 PM

Well, I told my husband my new plan.

I don't know if I've been quietly triggered or if I really am just sleep deprived and exhausted like T says, but I feel..... uneasy. A little irrational, like the world is blurry around the edges.

I miss having someone who could say, honestly "I understand."

My T doesn't seem to be on my wavelength right now. I usually substitute her consistency and caring and energy and such for... insight, but... tonight I could use the feeling of being understood, sigh. Contained. I think this is the stormfront of dissociation.

JustShakey · Jun 30, 2015, 12:05 AM

I hate summer vacation. Daily fights with the seven year old because she doesn't want to go to her summer camp. Respite care for my son, which I am very glad for, but it's in my home so I have to go out to get me time. And it's freakin' hot out. August can't get here fast enough for me.

Lawyer informed me that my divorce papers were served today. Totally was not expecting the wall of emotions that hit with that one. I'm so ready for this marriage to be over, but it still hurts...

growlycat · Jun 30, 2015, 12:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

I love my own puppies and am sometimes okay with random puppies - but sometimes not. I may not be dressed for them, or they act like puppies will and jump and get me muddy when I am going to court, or I am busy and do not have time for them or any number of reasons why in a park I might not want to engage with some one else's puppy that is not so much I hate puppies -but more - I do not wish to engage with a puppy at this time.

(I am at heart more of a cat person than a dog person despite how insanely attached to my own two dogs that I am - I am not mean to other people's dogs but I am not especially interested in engaging with them either)

You like animals including adult dogs which is close enough to me!!

My parents didn't like animals growing up and I never understood that. It was like I wasn't even related to those people.

Jun 30, 2015, 01:12 AM

I have BACON!!! Its sizzling in the pan right now. It smells divine. My mouth is watering. I can hardly wait. I feel so decadent.

JustShakey · Jun 30, 2015, 01:19 AM

Yay for bacon!

Jun 30, 2015, 02:03 AM

HMMM Bacon nom nom nom

growlycat · Jun 30, 2015, 02:15 AM

High anxiety for me, the night before am therapy. I feel really twisted up. Feel like I might get sick.

StressedMess · Jun 30, 2015, 02:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by growlycat

High anxiety for me, the night before am therapy. I feel really twisted up. Feel like I might get sick.

(Growly) feel better and try to rest.

I have Pdoc and T tomorrow, her last day before retiring and meeting new pdoc because my last one retired. Maybe that's why I can't sleep.

growlycat · Jun 30, 2015, 02:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StressedMess

(Growly) feel better and try to rest.

I have Pdoc and T tomorrow, her last day before retiring and meeting new pdoc because my last one retired. Maybe that's why I can't sleep.

I hope it goes well for you tomorrow too!

I decided to dye my hair in the middle of the night- why not?

Jun 30, 2015, 03:01 AM

What colour did you dye your hair growly?

Jun 30, 2015, 03:02 AM

I hate the T relationship because i really really really want him close to me but at the same time I want him to keep a distance. I don't understand this at all!

growlycat · Jun 30, 2015, 03:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bipolarartist

What colour did you dye your hair growly?

I usually pick a shade of red, from auburn to copper. Not sure how this will turn out because I decided to try the professional formula at home (I'm not a stylist by any means, but it is so much cheaper to do it at home!)

growlycat · Jun 30, 2015, 03:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bipolarartist

I hate the T relationship because i really really really want him close to me but at the same time I want him to keep a distance. I don't understand this at all!

Yeah, T relationship is so much push-pull. Going through that right now!! Yearning all week now I don't really want to see him.

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