desperate to call but it's midnight

I tried calling a crisis line but couldnt say anything. I just want these feelongs to stop. I'm overwhelmed. Safe. Thinking bad thoughts but not planning to act on them. Saw T today. She made 2 appointments 4 me nxt week but feel so panicked and hysterical and hopeless and desperate I dont know what to do. Tried so many coping skills. So tired and so afraid to relax and go to sleep. Oh T, why cant I come live in your closet? I will stay quiet in the fetal position. Just come pet me once in a while

Now that this is out there, I have a new fear. what if everyone ignores me. I cant bear that. I must flee. I am such a coward.

I hope you'll feel free to keep posting here, but if you want something more interactive and are afraid to call, I've used these two online free chat services before:

Need to Talk to Someone? - 7 Cups of Tea

CrisisChat - Chat

There is nothing wrong with feeling the way you do. Can you Email your T? If not, perhaps journaling your feelings to share with her during one of your sessions next week would be useful. My T insists that I Email, or at least write it out, when I'm "in the moment." Because once that moment is over, to bring it up later, we tend to minimize it. Raw feelings, written when they're felt, is the best thing if you aren't with your T during that time.

Hope today is going a bit better for you. I've also used the crisis chat Leah123 linked above. They can be helpful (though sometimes the wait is really long).

Two times I felt in crisis I spent all day in PC chat room. Helped me a lot. Try that. There is always somebody there.

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