Freaked out during session

I saw my psychologist today and i was dissociating pretty badly during the session and my psychologist tried to get me to do a few things to bring me back the first i had to hold onto something cold but it wasnt working so he tried to get this other thing but my OCD kicked in and i nearly cried (i never cry) and started having a panic attack and was shaking for the rest of the session. I feel bad and embarrassed and i dont know what to do or how to feel.

Many of us have had that happen. Therapists are generally pretty used to those kinds of reactions/responses. Try not to worry about it too much.

This happens to me frequently, the first time I was embarrassed and it was awful. T helped me realize that it's okay, she's seen it before and it's alright that it happens.

I've been there too, you're not alone in dealing with in-session dissociation and panic attacks. Sounds like it did not throw off your therapist, it will be ok, it only shows you've dealt with some tough and scary things, it's nothing you need to be ashamed about, and I imagine he totally understands that.

You're brave for facing those things in therapy.

I hope you're taking good care of yourself, I find those episodes stressful and that it's important to be gentle with myself after.

I had something similar happen this week. Only I freaked out and told T to stop talking because I couldn't pull myself together if he didn't shut up. He and I have emailed since then and he is totally fine with everything that happened. They are very understanding of this stuff. I apologized and he said I didn't need to do so, but that we would work on ways for me to learn how to accept help when I am in that state.

We go "through" things. You don't have to still be there if your session is over. Be here 'NOW'

Thank you everyone. I am just not used to expressing any emotions during my sessions or in general really as I feel like if I do I will explode and I think I was just shocked as well I don't think my psychologist was bothered by it but I think I am I just feel weak and stupid I don't know why I know I wasn't trying to do those things but I just feel like I have failed in some way I must have had a look on my face because he stopped in the middle of his sentence and asked what was happening just as it was starting to get really intense I haven't been able to clam down much since. I just feel weird about it.

It is an odd state to be in, I know what you mean, but gosh, if I told you it happened to me, would you feel I was a failure or weak or stupid?

Or would you have compassion for me having a hard time?

I've had panic attacks during sessions before. My T was very understanding and a couple times did relaxation exercises to help me calm down.

I've found for me it seems to happen when there's something I'm afraid to talk about. And it's either something my T is asking about then or something I'm afraid she'll ask about. Could that be the case for you? Also, I frequently cry in session, and I've found that sometimes the panic lessens once I let those emotions out.

This happens alot. You will be okay and I am sure your psychologist has been with someone like that before. As long as it was in a safe place. You're fine. :-)

I wouldn't think that about someone else but I still feel bad about it maybe that feeling just won't go away.

The panic attack started because he asked me to do something which was supposed to help me calm down but my OCD didn't like that idea and I had a panic attack.