Does therapy work

Therapy "could" help if you have a somewhat ethical therapist. Mine abandoned me after seven years of promising me he would never give up on me. It has caused me so much damage and hurt me so much. I wish I had never gone into therapy.

I know others have different experiences though.

I have grown to love therapy, because therapy is a place where I can be loved. Love meaning accepted, cared about, supported, challenged, healed. I work hard in therapy to be honest, to try new things, to collaborate with someone highly experienced on improving my life, and it has really worked very well for me. It doesn't always work fast and it's not typically easy, though sometimes improvements are rapid and beautifully simple when we collaborate, but it's been well worth it.

I have gotten deeply attached to my therapist, but it hasn't really been a bad thing. Yes, I miss her sometimes and have come to depend on her help, but.... that's a lot better problem than the ones I went to therapy to work on, and over time, as I do my work and build our therapeutic relationship, it gets easier. Not perfect, but good.

I encourage you to try it, depression is highly treatable!

My own therapist did a course of therapy for depression and for a while used medications as well and she found it so helpful and still feels those gains almost 20 years later.

Omg that's terrible! I'm so sorry

I see two of them - the first one is useless for things like depression but the second one is useful for it. I do not and would not ever take prescription drugs for it (If others find them useful-okay - but for me I will never take them). The first one talked drugs a lot until I got quite firm and told her never to mention them to me again. The second said drugs were around, but that she would not take them and would not encourage anyone to take them who had not said they wanted them. The point of this is that one may need to shop around a bit to find a therapist who fits the bill.

Thanks. It's good to know that not all of them will insist on me taking drugs. I'm not comfortable with it and since I can't swallow pills, it can be limiting anyway. Not every medication is available in liquid form.

Therapy has been extremely helpful for me and my depression (I started 9 months ago). I'm pretty confident now that if (I should probably say "when"...) I get depressed again, that it will not get to the point it did last time. I'm extremely aware of my thoughts and feelings now which has really helped me. Sometimes I still fall into old patterns but I can usually catch myself at some point and at least realize what I'm doing.

My T has also stressed to me that if I feel depressed or sad again for any length of time, that those feelings don't define me as a person. It may be how I'm feeling but it isn't who I am. That helps me keep it all in perspective.

I think therapy can help anyone but that person has to want to change. If you don't want to make changes, it's not going to happen. It's like a personal trainer for fitness. You can meet with them once a week for an hour and do a workout but if you never do anything on your own and you don't want to push yourself, there's not much will change.

Therapy is the best thing I've ever done for myself, it's definitely worth a try.

Therapists don't prescribe medications unless they also happen to be medical doctors. I've never had a therapist "insist" on medications. I have had them suggest I give it consideration and help and support me with whatever decisions I made that way. But I've never had a therapist require I go on meds.

That said, I did find medication absolutely necessary at times because the level of my depression was so severe that, quite honestly, I couldn't function. That renders life pretty impossible when you have trouble working, thinking is like wading through quicksand, suicidality becomes a danger, hospitalization becomes a necessity. There are worse things than having to take medications. I needed to be able to function. I needed to be able to think. Therapy was pretty useless when the depression was so severe that I could think my way out of a box if I tried. Medication brought my functioning up to a level where I could function again, I could think again, I could be there for my family again, I was not a danger to myself, and therapy was actually manageable and helpful. I didn't have to take them forever, but they were absolutely necessary for a few years there.

It doesn't sound as if you are ready to change. Even if you are miserable you would rather stay that way, it's the people around you that want you to change. Therapy will only help when you are ready to do the work for yourself.

Yeah there's some bad therapists out there and they are the ones that get talked about the most. But by and far the majority are good, if it's not working between you most will suggest someone who might be a better fit. But until you try nothing will change.

I don't know if I'm ready to change or not. But the horrible anxiety I feel for an appointment i already set up is so bad that I already can't handle it and the appointment isn't for another week. New people at a new place doing something totally new that I don't have faith in. It's so scary for me and anxiety causing. It worsens my depression too actually

It's entirely up to you and this is all in your control. It's very common that the first step feels the scariest. Remember, you're not going into a mad scientist's lab though, you're going to talk to a very likely nice person whose life's work is to help people feel better and you two are just going to talk about some basics, what they're like, what you're like, why you're there. You can ask as many questions as you want, and try to remember- *you* are the customer and they are the hired help.

It's just when I get nervous and/or anxious, i shut down emotionally and mentally. I just sit there. I never ask questions or know what to ask or remember what to ask if i knew ahead of time.

You can write down anything you want to. Lots of therapy clients use notes to remember such things. Also, you can take more than one appointment to ask your questions if you want and there's no rush to open up. You can also email questions to some that you can go over during the appointment. The therapist should be good at helping you feel comfortable if they're going to be a good fit with you. And there's nothing wrong with saying you're nervous and need time to gather your thoughts.

The main thing is, you're in control. This is like a job interview for your therapist- you have a whole week, so if you're anxious, do your homework.

Research therapy questions and you'll find plenty of ideas for questions to ask and such. Preparation can really take the edge off of anxiety.

I wonder if there are actual studies to back this up. I'm not sure if most are good.

I'm not sure discussing this on this thread is supportive of the OP's dilemma right now. It is a legitimate question, but perhaps a different thread?

Yes it works for me. It's a safe place to dump my crap and I'm a lot better off.

I think it's fair enough to give different views. People DO have negative therapy experiences. It doesn't mean not to try it. It just means to be wary and don't throw your soul into it and think it is the only thing that will save you. You have to save yourself ultimately.

it's true that I have to save myself. I just feel like therapy is being too weak to do it alone and I can't even put into words how much I hate that feeling.

It is not any more weak than getting vaccinations means being to weak to avoid polio on your own or going to school means being too weak to learn algebra on your own.

It's not weak to be human, and to be human is to rely on people. For some of us, that actually takes great strength!

I tried doing it "on my own" for so long that I finally broke down and couldn't do it anymore. I think one of the strongest things to do is reach out and go to someone for help. 6 months ago I would have said something very different (again, I've been in therapy for 9 months so it took me awhile to believe it) but life isn't meant to be lived on your own. Yes, there is only one person you spend 24/7 with and it's yourself, but what is there to life if no one else is living it with you, even if it is only temporary.

When I feel weak for going to therapy I think about how many successful people in this world have done it (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/0...n_3683419.html). It's about making yourself better and stronger. Athletes have trainers that help them get physically stronger, therapists help you get mentally stronger.

I actually refuse to get any kind of medical treatment because medications and antibiotics make me feel weak as well. It makes sense to me but it doesn't. Shows how depressed and messed up my thinking is though

I don't mean to be insulting one bit, but I do agree that if you are just avoiding medical treatment because you fear it shows weakness, your thinking really is distorted and you probably can't see it right now, but you can get to feeling a lot better. It's GOOD that you are taking steps to feel better. Sometimes we have to do just the opposite of what those protective but ineffective voices tell us to do- take the impulse toward stagnation and make a major change. You'll start momentum that way too and everything can start to get easier once you get going.

I'm probably the most stubborn person lol. I haven't felt ok since I was 12 and I still think I can fix myself by myself. It doesn't help that I don't feel like anyone is here living it with me. My boyfriend leaving last week certainly helps me feel totally alone

So do you think that everyone on this forum that has gone to therapy is weak? I can't image so or you wouldn't be asking for everyone's opinion.

You don't have to answer that but it's something to think about...

For some reason, it's ok for everyone else to get help. But I am weak for how I am and for needing help. It doesn't make sense but it's how I feel. The only thing weaker than me going, is me going and failing at it

I totally understand that. I've been trying to deal with everything on my own since I was a kid as well. I thought it made me strong and at times, I think I was really strong. But there was stuff I went through that no one should have deal with on their own and I'm realizing that now.

My suggestion to you is to make an appointment with a therapist and in the first meeting, tell them why you are there but also tell them that being there makes you feel weak. Just be honest with them and give it a couple of weeks before you decide if it is right for you or not. I thought I would only be there for 3 months or so until my depression lifted but I've fallen in love with it and I've grown more the past 9 months than I did the past 5 years (I'm 23 and in grad school).

It's not going to hurt to give it a shot. You have all the power to decide when/if you want to stop.