E-mailing thoughts to T

My T had to cancel our session yesterday due to illness. The previous week, we'd been talking about my attachment to/transference for my marriage counselor, and I was pretty weepy for much of the session. (My T even looked teary-eyed a few times, which rarely happens.) I kept expecting her to ask me about something with my feelings for MC (regarding whether I thought I might be in love with him), and she didn't. So I sent her a quick e-mail about it after the session, and she said she had the sense I was dancing around the idea and mentioned that maybe he's the only male who hasn't let me down (until something recently, but that's in other posts).

So I was understanding that she canceled the session, but upset because I was hoping to continue the discussion (and now it has to wait another week). I decided that I'd try to have a sort of therapy session with myself and just type out whatever thoughts came into my head without trying to censor them. And then just go where they took me. I came out with some pretty candid stuff that I might be afraid to share with her in person, so I feel like it was effective.

What I'm wondering now is what to do with what I wrote. Part of me wants to e-mail it to her. She usually doesn't respond to e-mails, but she'll note in the session that she got them and we sometimes discuss stuff from them. With all the stuff in here, I might feel weird about her not responding, especially since I don't see her till Wednesday. I could always ask her to just confirm she got it or something like that. But then if I send it, at least it's out there, and I can't bail on sharing it. Or should I just wait and address the thoughts at our next session, either by handing her what I wrote or trying to say the stuff out loud (or just giving the main things I came up with)?

Thoughts? I know many of you talk about writing stuff to share with your T. Do you find it's better to send it before the session or just to share with your T while you're in session?

I'd just take it with me, perhaps read parts of it to her as a way to get discussion started. Doesn't sound like it is something she has to read right here and now, and the discussion in session will be what is really needed.

Send it and let it be. If she responds great, if not, you know you'll be able to talk with her about it next time.

I think this is one of those questions that might have a different answer for different people. As far as whether to email, I would say trust your gut, take the route that will lead to the least suffering / most happiness for you.

Earlier in my therapy I emailed things like this. They drove me crazy if not, eating away at me obsessively until I unburdened myself. My therapist also didn't respond much, he would be delayed or write back a one liner, that sucked. Now I'm at a point where I don't email stuff like that anymore. I kind of avoid emotional material between sessions unless it's pretty bad. Sometime it changed for me and now I kick myself when I email for being pestering ( for lack of better word coming to mind.) anyways, I don't think I have for at least a year now.

The last couple times something really was eating my lunch I sent a short text like "got to work, can't get out of my car." Or "can't stop crying." Which got quick responses! I just didn't bother with all the details. Honestly not only did I get quicker responses but they were more satisfying to me when I got them. Now it feels like there's always going to be some background story line but the feelings are really all that immediately matters.

I have send my T emails and I have handed her in session. If it's long I rather email it to her, so she can read it without rush and I don't have to sit waiting for her to finish reading it. If I send something I want to talk about to her by email, I also write that she doesn't have to react on those things in an email, but that I want to talk about it in next session.

If I dont tell my thoughts through email I ussually dont tell it in session too so its better for me if I send it. He almost never replies but he always reads it and we can try to talk about it at session.

Yeah, I have sent emails like this. Gosh, it is hard to wait for a response, but sometimes it's a risk that can really help. There are things I can say via email that I struggle with saying in person, so sending an email outlining some key things I want to work in, or even just share.

Maybe you can sleep on it and see how you feel about your choices in the morning.

Thanks for all the comments! I'm thinking maybe I'll wait and send it Monday or Tuesday. That way, she'll be in the office when she gets it (and could respond--there are some issues with the e-mail system where she may not be able to respond from outside the office). And then I won't have to wait almost a week to talk to her about it and wonder what she's thinking if she doesn't respond. And it should be fresher in her mind for when I see her Wednesday. Plus I might have additional thoughts I could add over the weekend.

What I did in the past in this situation was send her an email email telling her the important basics of what I need to talk about and that I would have a hard time bringing it up in session so could she bring up three topic. He response was to thank me for letting her know and that she would definitely bring it up. If your t won't send you a response I would just tell her in the email that due to the sensitive nature of the discussion and needing to know that she received it could she just send a brief acknowledgement of reading the email.

Save it on your computer. Maybe you can look back on it after a length of time as passed. You can see this a marker for how you've grown and how things change.

I always send emails when there is something I struggle with saying in person. It really helps. I am so glad my T lets me email.

My T has no limit on Emails/texts. I have disclosed some pretty hefty things by Email that I would not have otherwise told her. Sometimes I send her an Email of thoughts after a session, but not regularly. Otherwise, I Email her when I have something to get off my chest. We then discuss it during session. I feel guilty, telling her I'm afraid I'm taking the easy way out, but she says that she thinks my best work is done between sessions and the session itself is the glue that holds everything together. In her letting me Email, I've learned that disclosing face to face has come a bit easier. So I'm thankful she allows that.

Exactly this. Except my T is a him.