Gifts for T....

Even if hand made?

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I made my T start shaped biscuits at Christmas time. She said 'yes, I will accept those, thank you' which makes me think there's other things she wouldn't? She seems fine with keeping my Tupperware though

T gave me a gift before I ever gave him one. I always wanted to give gifts to previous Ts but never felt I could ask and could bear hearing no or getting a pointed and awkward lecture. current T's boundaries allow for gifts and I like it.

I asked my T if he would accept a gift of something I'd made. He said he would, so I made the object in question and gave it to him. I wish I hadn't, though. (it was a year ago and it's not something I often think about, but recalling it now still makes me cringe with embarrassment.)

I think it's a lovely gesture. Most T's ethically cannot accept gifts from clients, but more times than not, they will accept hand made gifts, or some other gift with a specific meaning that doesn't come with a high value. Knowing your T, she will love the hand made gift you make for her!

I have given her a couple of gift cards over the last 6 or so years. One was for Christmas and I got her a gift card to her favorite restaurant. Another time we were at another restaurant that I know she loves but is somewhat expensive. So I bought her one just because..both times I mailed them with a nice card. The first time she told me I really wasn't suppose to buy her gifts like that. However, since it was me and she understood what was behind it she was okay. The other time there was a little misunderstanding through email however, we worked it out and she was very thankful. A couple of other times I just sent you nice cards. Plus when my kids and I have gone blueberry, apple, and strawberry picking over the years I usually pick her some for her as I know much she likes fresh fruits and berries... I use to ask if she liked them before going out picking...the last couple of years though I know she does so just bring them to her.

Policy of only accepting handmade or no money value gifts seems really biased towards crafty/creative people who have time or ideas about making things... just saying. Also, what is up with t's accepting these gifts cause they have no money value - it's like saying a patient's art is crap or something... seems like in the same line as a back handed compliment or almost a put down. A t is almost saying they are more valuable and therefore deserving of a more valuable gift - something homemade that takes a lot of time and care and thought - then say, something from the dollar store. Know what I mean? Oh well, it is the thought that counts I guess. Just so you all know, I am not a huge fan of policies because I think they can do damage at times and limit a person's ability to use critical thinking and make independent judgements and decisions. So I will always look for an argument against a policy just to fight against policy. Not all are dumb, but really - you can accept a homemade gift and not a different one? That is the ethical guideline and the policy??

Not sure about my T, but after Christmas last year, my H offered our marriage counselor the extra copy of a DVD he'd received two of at Christmas. MC said he could not accept gifts. Not sure if, say, homemade or edible items would be allowed. When I used to be a journalist, there was a policy of not accepting gifts worth, I think, more than $5 (or maybe more than that, can't recall). I think often edible gifts are OK, especially if it's a group practice and they can be shared with the office. I think it's an ethical consideration.

With the high rate of attachment and transference, I can see why there's a monetary limit. Ts might come across as you can buy their love, attention, or affection.

And btw, I don’t think handmade gifts are crap. To you they might be, but that's your opinion. My art isn't crafty. I can't draw for the life of me! But I can trace and paint in the lines. I can give cute funny things like survival kits and marbles. I can cook not at an expert lvl, but still. Or there's flowers which are cheap but beautiful. Ts prefer the value of the gift to come from the heart and not the wallet. That's not a bad thing. I think it's smart.

Anyways, Ts make enough money to buy the monetary gifts themselves. But it's special when a client puts a part of themselves in a project.

All gifts are thoughtful and should be appreciated. What we choose to give is influenced by many factors, and I believe whatever the choice, presents should all be received with a grateful heart. It is the thought that counts.

I understand how therapists often feel the need to steer clear of expensive gifts but this really is an individualized experience, gift-giving, and I hope that whether the gifts are accepted or not, the gesture is appreciated as it should be.

No I'm saying homemade gifts AREN'T crap. They are not. They are MORE valuable than cheap stuff you can buy at the dollar store. That is my point. If a T does not accept "expensive" gifts, but they will accept a patient's homemade art, what is that telling the client about their art? Sorry, guess I'm just trying to pick a fight with therapists. Not helpful. You all go on now, I'll hold my peace. I'd have different comments if I had a T I really felt connected to, who wanted me in their life, that I would be thinking about giving a gift to. Sad for my most recent t, not fair to her, but I am still so angry at t's, I don't even want to think about giving her a gift on our last appt coming up in less than a month. Even though I should. Cause she has helped me progress and grow. *shrug* whatever.

I live giving gifts but my therapist would only accept a gift, she said, if it was therapeutic for me.
It's vague enough that I've never given her anything because one of the reasons for doing so, besides showing that I care about her, would be "well, I want a piece of me to be in your house" and that is slightly creepy
A way for me to show that I care is to send postcards. Wherever I go I send people postcards.
I figured a postcard wouldn't fall into a gift so when I went to Slovakia last Christmas I sent my thzrapist a postcard wishing her merry christmas and happy new year.
It was appropriate and inexpensive. She was pleased with it.

Asking beforehand is key. I gifted ex-T by telling about an performance or event or restaurant that she might enjoy. She appreciated that, keeping up with activities around town or in the region.

I started seeing my therapist in early Dec a number of years ago, and thought about if it would be appropriate to give her a gift for Christmas, then decided it was too soon, but the next year I did buy her a small gift and carefully wrapped it. When I gave it to her she nicely explained that she didn't accept gifts, but then at the end of the session she did ask if it would be OK if she just opened it to see what it was, clearly her curiosity was getting the best of her. She was pleasantly surprised to see that I got her a slinky (they toy), I explained that they are way better than stress balls. When she understood how inexpensive my gift was she decided to keep it.