What makes someone a difficult client

My ex-therapist actually did tell me I needed to try medication or he wouldn't work with me anymore. I did try many, many different medications and had before I saw him. I can look back and see how completely inappropriate he was. I was desperate at the time to feel better and to have someone help me. I would never put up with that bull now.

I'm sure at times that I've been viewed as a "difficult" client. I do believe that "difficult" is a definition that relates back to the personality styles of the therapist and the client. It's the same as in real life interpersonal relationships. I don't know about everyone else, but I can safely say that I do not get along with everyone. I can deal with everyone, but in a close, socially intimate relationships, I'm not going to enjoy everyone I come into contact with, and if therapy is going to be effective for me, it needs to be someone who gets me and someone I get in return.

I remember seeing a male therapist for about four or five sessions that I really liked. He had a sense of humor, seemed pretty laid back and he was around my age, which was important because I wanted to deal with some issues around retirement and aging. Everything was going along just fine--I was venting my rage at the medical establishment and their failure to diagnose a serious medical issue in me, expressing despair at the surgery I had to undergo and mourning my shortened lifespan. He listened for those four sessions and then seemed to get tired of me talking about what I "felt" in regard to fear, betrayal and pain. He slipped into "solution focused" mode and wanted to develop a "plan" on how to move forward. He totally missed that I wasn't anywhere near ready to move away from expressing pain and rage and into making an action plan. I tried telling him, he nodded that he understood and then immediately slipped back into "action" mode. I pushed back and continued to express my anger. I could SEE his frustration and I could hear it in his voice and in his continued attempt to refocus me on an action plan. I wasn't in action mode and he just couldn't see that. Suddenly, I was a "difficult" and resistant client. I didn't make another appointment. We were never going to be able to work effectively together--I saw my therapy as something entirely different than he did and since I was the one paying for it, I didn't feel it was worth trying to continue to try and make him see what I needed.

I don't agree with that last part. A therapist shouldn't say his/her client should go on meds. A T can suggest it, if the client might want to try it. But to send a client away because he/she doesn't want to take meds..
A client isn't difficult if he/she doesn't want to take meds.

Are you speaking from having had the experience of being suggested to take meds etc, or is it just your opinion that we shouldnt call such people difficult? Because i HAVE been that person, and yes i would say i was a difficult client.

Its like, when youre always the employee, its easy to criticize management. But then when you become management and have to put up with the employees b.s., it can make you a better employee. You know, walk a mile in the other persons shoes.

Did it hurt anybody besides myself that i was a difficult client? Yeah - its the path not taken. No man is an island. The bell tolls for thee. Karma. Crap like that.

I am confused - are you saying it did or did not hurt anyone other than you?

Im saying it did hurt other people.

I just don't think people who don't want to try meds should be called dificult. They can be a difficult client, but just for not wanting to try meds a T should call that client difficult.
If a client really need meds, because they could be a danger to themself or to others, then it's another story. But if you're are for example severe depressed and you don't want to try meds, then I think the T should respect that and shouldn't call you difficult just for that.

There's another way to look at that, namely: it is the therapist's job to win the patient's trust.

Yea, that sort of coercion is really frightening. A dangerous abuse of power.

If a T said that to me, I would ask them to provide evidence to support their position. Since there is little or no evidence to support use of psych drugs for majority of conditions, most likely the T's position would amount to a collection of unexamined beliefs and assumptions. And then I'd assume they can't be trusted after that.

Even in cases where someone is suicidal or otherwise dangerous does not mean they need drugs. What they need is help, which can come in many forms.

They do give suggestions though, I'd think? If a client says I drink a liter of vodka every day or pick strange men on
The streets and have unprotected sex I sure hope t says something! At least suggests resources to use

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Well said!

I would expect a T to ask, "How is that working out for you?"

haha, my T said the exact same quote to me when I came in and told her how much I drank the night before/couldn't remember drinking my last beer. She goes "And how did that work out for you?" I laughed and said, "Fine, I don't remember it!" and she let the topic drop. Last session I was worried because I was going to see my friend that evening and was afraid she'd see my SH effects. T was like "No one else knows?" and I said "No way, and I probably will never tell her." She then asked if maybe my friend would be compassionate and empathetic if I told her. I said that she probably would be, but I still don't ever want to tell her. She said "I'm not making you do anything. I am just exploring options, that's all," and then let the subject drop.

Hahaha

On a serious note though if one sees a t specifically for substance abuse, t would be making suggestions

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But if one was not seeing the therapist for substance problems -then the therapist has no business saying anything about it.

That's correct. It all depends on a context. Therapists sometimes make suggestions and sometimes stay back, it depends on a situation

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