Still don't like you.

Told T I still having feelings around not liking her at the moment. T said that's OK. It's how you can make full use of me. You have to destroy, rebuilt someone for them to be of real use to you.
I said, but Shoildnt this have already happened the time ive been seeing you?
T said, it's probably more conscious now.

Last night I was comforted by the fact that I can tell T I dont like her and yet her postive regard for ME remains the same. She treats whatever I give to her with kindness and compassion.

I said I feel as if there's a gigantic rupture happening between us, unyet in the silence of this room there isn't.
That is the internal taking apart of the '(m)other'.
I had flashbacks to my mother's reactions to anything negative I may have attempted to tell her. She would fall to pieces and crush me too. Contrast that with T's response to my statement of not liking her and the healing tales place right there!

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Wow! I think your T is the exception to the rule. MY OWN T turned against ME first!! He broke all ethical rules and breached my confidentiality to impress someone else. Needless to say he lost all respect I had for him.

That is beautifully put, _Mouse. What you said reinforces what I've realized happening in my own therapeutic relationship with my t - I posted about it recently somewhere on here. It's like re-enacting the relationship with my mother only with a positive outcome. something like that. thank you.

Mouse, your T sounds great, and that feels like a really powerful thing to experience.

I have told my T to go away, that she's annoying...and still feel her positive regard and acceptance. It makes me feel too vulnerable somehow but I do appreciate it.

That is beautiful. What a wonderful therapist. Solid, professional and clearly knows what she's doing. That ones a keeper.

On another note, Artemis, one of us needs to change outfits. or someone has to go home.