Do you have higher expectations of your therapist/psychologist than you do of others

People disappear for me, too. I have given up on the idea of trusting real life people to be around or to care about me - and it's like my dad always used to say when I was little, that if you don't expect anything you will not be disappointed. Very useful life lesson, and one I wish I'd taken to heart earlier. I still slip sometimes but its getting easier.

However, I do trust that a therapist won't suddenly go away, because it's part of their professional role not to do that. So once again, I expect professionalism; I know some of them won't be professional but that doesn't mean I expect anything less. (I don't expect love or care or anything because that's not part of the professional package.)

If by "others," you mean some random guy on the street, then, yes, I do have higher expectations. If we're comparing my expectations to those I have for other trained professionals dealing with important stuff, then my expectations are the same.

I'm not going to admit to expecting too much!

Just wonder when you say a cut above.,,,A cut above who? Me? You? Why do they need to be above the rest? Are they above nurses or teachers or firefighters or emergency physicians? Why do they need to be above anyone?


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I would expect that they are consistent in their behaviors/boundaries. Mine has not been.

do you allow a change in your expectations if the relationship also changes for example if you get closer or if you have a rupture do the expectations you have of your therapist/psychologist change.

I would not get closer to a therapist, but there are a good many areas I no longer try to address around the woman because she bungled things. She one time said, when fishing for compliments, that X was no longer an issue for me - I burst out laughing and informed her X was the same, I just no longer bothered telling her about it.

You make a good point. Over time the patient grows (I hope!) and the relationship should grow too. If not, the patient leaves.

I really love this post. thank you for sharing this. I feel like printing it out and reading it when I'm feeling stuck.

It really goes the other way with me--I tend to think my therapist has high expectations of me (and I have them of myself) which catches me the worst when I walk through the door for another session. It helps I was actually discussing this with him today. I should have expectations from us both, but reasonable/appropriate expectations.

I am surprised at the high of any sort - they are just people with a degree who are guessing and stabbing around.
I suppose this is the sort of thing the therapist meant when she told me other clients came to her with the expectation she could help. I just sort of thought she might have some info I could use. Turns out she either does not have it or will not give it. So now I use her for something else entirely.

Maybe you need to find better ones

I have very high (probably unrealistic) expectations for my T, and I am trying to come to terms with the fact she'll most likely never fill all of those expectations. And the ones she does fill, I appreciate them for a second, and them I'm immediately focused on the next level and whether she'll meet those higher expectations. The whole process is a mind *****, let's be honest. I just can't be satisfied, I always need more.

Iam brand new to this forum, but thought I would take a shot and let go of some of my feelings...I was molested by my father from age 5 to age 13 in addition to much neglect and abuse to a degree that Iam still uncomfortable talking about it with anyone other than my therapist. So, to the issue of expecting too much from my therapist I definately know, after reading some of these posts, that I have too high of expectations on my therapist. Which makes me very sad because I really have wanted him to protect me all the time and be near me all the time and to fix me so I could be good enough for him. I have a hard time feeling good enough for anyone and I came to love my therapist for the person he is and how he cares, but I guess I do expect him to always be there for me no matter what else he is doing or even if he is home with his family. I get very upset when he doesn't get back to me soon enough or if he doesn't call me back when he is with his family on the weekends and then I see him again on Monday at my appointment and Iam so mad at him that I feel like I can't even talk to him anymore which then backfires because I have his whole attention right then but Iam so caught up in being mad at him that I can't find a way to talk to him...very confusing.

Anyway, Iam guilty of having too high expectations on my therapist and I feel terrible having come to that conclusion after reading these posts.