[lunatic soul]

I've been thinking about my weird feelings for the pastor, it's something similar like t because christians used to talk to their pastor about difficulties in their life and ask for suggestion or help or prayer.
When I first saw that pastor he reminded me of my t and when I talked to him it sometimes felt like I talk to my t, when I felt broken because of t I sometimes saw him and it helped me if I talked to him for 5 minutes. When i talked to him I felt confused and anxious because he remind me so much my t but that pastor moved away and I was little bit sad because I thought he is awesome person.
After year I met him at one event, sure I was happy, he was nice and kind to me as always but I always was worried he thinks something bad about me, I know we don't know each other but we all have opinion about people we are talking to at the moment. He is on my fb and sometimes he likes my pics which makes me feel so happy. I always told myself that I like him only as a person, i always know he reminds me of my t but on that event I thought about him all the time and my heart was beating too fast.
After that event we didn't see each other and I didnt think about him but now after half year I saw him and I'm not even sure it was him but I started to think of him and I long to see him so much, I even don't have a reason to talk to him but I'm walking on the streets hoping I could meet him there knowing he is not living there and I think it's very weird what i feel, I am completely sure that these feelings are not real, I don't know him and he reminds me of another person, I feel so unproductive, I feel crazy, I know it wouldn't be good for me if I met him.

[AuroraBorealis75]

I think transference can happen with someone other than a therapist, especially if it's someone in a position of authority. I had a really strong transference to a priest, and I realize I totally idolized him. It lasted for about 7 years, and then I found out he left his wife and I was so mad at him. That was the end of the transference. I trusted him, and we were quite close, and when he found out that I knew, he told me he wasn't ever going to tell me he had left his wife (she went to a different church, but I also did get to know her and like her a lot). She was the one who told me he had left her.

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by AuroraBorealis75

I think transference can happen with someone other than a therapist, especially if it's someone in a position of authority. I had a really strong transference to a priest, and I realize I totally idolized him. It lasted for about 7 years, and then I found out he left his wife and I was so mad at him. That was the end of the transference. I trusted him, and we were quite close, and when he found out that I knew, he told me he wasn't ever going to tell me he had left his wife (she went to a different church, but I also did get to know her and like her a lot). She was the one who told me he had left her.

I agree that it can happen with someone other than a T. I don't really talk about this much, but I'm pretty sure that's what I had for my high school journalism teacher, who was considerably older. I was the editor of the school paper, and we worked pretty closely together. He was married (no kids). I felt really attached to him (and he seemed a bit attached to me, though nothing physical happened), which made graduation and going off to college difficult. I kept in touch with him briefly after that, but it ended really badly

Possible trigger:

after I attempted suicide freshman year, he was one of the people I mailed good-bye letters to.

. I called him to let him know I was OK after that, and he told me to never contact him again...

I think that experience, which is like 20 years ago now, is largely what's behind my difficulty accepting that my marriage counselor (who I have some paternal and erotic transference for) really isn't going anywhere, no matter what I say or do. And probably has had an effect on other relationships I've had with authority figures, too. (Of course there's some parent issues in there as well...)

But to get back to the original question, a pastor is even closer to the role of a T than a teacher, so I think there can definitely be transference...