Who's the gal who was going back to her old T?

junkDNA · Feb 08, 2016, 03:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by winenot3

He sees my roommate (not on a regular basis). But he's never done anything even remotely weird with her. I think I told her I shared some piece of sexual information about myself once, and all she said was, "You told him that???" She doesn't over-share like I do. She seems to think he's brilliant and great, and was even the one that recommended I see him in the first place. A lot of people love him in my town.

I think it's difficult because I've been seeing him for three years. I did have another therapist I was seeing for awhile in between, but stopped going because all it did was make me long for the stronger connection I had before with the current one I'm seeing. I guess it's hard to complain about all of this when I'm the one that was pushing for it in the first place! And we still don't actually know how far he would even take it. For all we know, these pictures are it.

My former T was my t for 5 years before the sex started. It is very difficult to break away...

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precaryous · Feb 09, 2016, 12:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by winenot3

He sees my roommate (not on a regular basis). But he's never done anything even remotely weird with her. I think I told her I shared some piece of sexual information about myself once, and all she said was, "You told him that???" She doesn't over-share like I do. She seems to think he's brilliant and great, and was even the one that recommended I see him in the first place. A lot of people love him in my town.

I think it's difficult because I've been seeing him for three years. I did have another therapist I was seeing for awhile in between, but stopped going because all it did was make me long for the stronger connection I had before with the current one I'm seeing. I guess it's hard to complain about all of this when I'm the one that was pushing for it in the first place! And we still don't actually know how far he would even take it. For all we know, these pictures are it.

I understand about feeling ambivilant. However, I think others here have mentioned even if you took off all your clothes in therapy, it is his job to tell you you need to get dressed...It is not his job to ogle at or critique anything you present to him. His reactions are not your fault!

You know I get how it's difficult to leave once you've become attached. I didn't want to listen to anyone warning me either. But, can you honestly feel there is any therapy going on in the room now? Much of the sessions have now become about him..his feelings, his needs. Sessions are supposed to be about you.

Is he charismatic by any chance?

I'm glad your roommate isn't reporting any inappropriate behavior. I'm guessing the T in my case didn't have sex with all of his female patients, either. But statistics show that these guys seldom have just one victim. Would it make a difference to you if you knew he was being unethical with other clients?
Once these T's see how far they can get with a client...many try to push it further. Have you checked to see if he has ever been disciplined by his licensing board? Has he ever lost a civil suit? Does he have malpractice insurance?

What I've read so far- You want to stay with him because you have formed an attachment, he seems easy to talk to- and you have no one else in your life to fill that role. Am I right? Can you tell me any other reasons you won't leave him?

You are less depressed, you say. I remember feeling less depressed, special and more powerful. Yet, he was still hurting me. He wasn't helping me be a better person. He wasn't helping me make better decisions for myself. He wasn't helping me be successfully independent. He wasn't helping me broaden my base of support. He wasn't teaching me about boundaries. He wasn't challanging me to grow.

He was isolating me. He enabled and encouraged me to completely disregard my long established morals. He violated my trust. He made me confused. He lowered my self-esteem. Eventually, he murdered my dirt-covered soul.

I hope you eventually wake up and see that he is using you.

Adding: I hope you consult with another therapist about this T. Get their objective opinion. You don't have to mention your T's name. I would like to know if a third party therapist tells you you and that T have a healthy therapeutic relationship.

I really wish you well.

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Who's the gal who was going back to her old T?

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