[SarahSweden]

I think most T:s seem quite stable, at least when it comes to not showing if they for example got angry with the former client or if they had a rough time at home. But sometimes when I´ve seen my T thoughts just come to mind if she´ll ever show she´s upset or having personal problems, for example I enter therapy and I can see she´s been crying or such. Or if she´ll act out in a way that I understand it´s because of some difficulties in her personal life.

That made me wonder if anyone has experienced something like that with their T? What did you get to know, what was the cause? How did you react/do when he/she told you what had happened?

[stopdog]

I had one tell me they might appear sad that day because their dog had just died the night before.
I pretty much expect them to take time off if they cannot set themselves aside.

[justdesserts]

My t hasn't cried, but he's told me when his mother was ill and when she passed away.

[Hopelesspoppy]

Acknowledging feeling sad about a loss is humanizing, so long as the session proceeds normally. I cannot think of any other emotion that would be appropriate to exhibit, besides a passing comment (i.e. kid left for college), that would be therapeutically useful, therefore appropriate, within the relationship.

If my ex t was upset she would share it with me. She would often express if she felt sad and why. I think it was helpful tome mist of the time because it validated my emotions and showed me that it's ok to cry and be upset.

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[SarahSweden]

Thanks for sharing. I also think it´s perfectly ok for a T to express if he/she feels sad because of a loss or something similar. Perhaps I wouldn´t know exactly what to do if she really showed tears but I know I would feel a strengthened relationship towards her. And of course, as someone said, that is as long as the session didn´t became to be all about the T. But sharing and showing emotions is to me just strenghtening.

[kecanoe]

Yes, one t cried a few tears talking about the loss of his mother. The other showed great distress after a family member suicide.

Originally Posted by SarahSweden

I think most T:s seem quite stable, at least when it comes to not showing if they for example got angry with the former client or if they had a rough time at home. But sometimes when I´ve seen my T thoughts just come to mind if she´ll ever show she´s upset or having personal problems, for example I enter therapy and I can see she´s been crying or such. Or if she´ll act out in a way that I understand it´s because of some difficulties in her personal life.

That made me wonder if anyone has experienced something like that with their T? What did you get to know, what was the cause? How did you react/do when he/she told you what had happened?

I had the exact opposite happen. Quite a number of years ago, one of my former therapists lost his only child to a drug overdose. His office cancelled appointments indefinitely and I thought I wouldn't see him for quite some time. I knew that he must be devastated because it was a small town and her death was on the local news.

I thought I wouldn't have a session for months into the future, but about a week and a half following his daughter's death, I got a call from his secretary saying that he'd be in the following week. I remember being absolutely, positively floored, I even asked her if she was sure. Anyway, I went in and he seemed fine. He explained that he viewed work as helpful because he loved his work and saw it as a way to allow him to have a semi normal day.

To be honest, his reaction was one of the reasons I ended going to him. I was the one who just couldn't handle him returning when he did; it triggered too many memories for me regarding a death of an older sibling in my own family. I realize now that I just couldn't get my head around someone moving on the way he did. I just felt weird talking about my own issues when all the time I was thinking, "Dang, this guy is grieving about the death of his only child! He doesn't want to hear my silly junk!" In some ways, I regret not talking about it with him because it might have been a very important learning situation for me. But I just couldn't get my head around it.

I've been aware of things going on in their lives that I knew were very stressful and emotional for them, but even in the midst of what was going on, I never felt they brought it into my sessions. They were very good about knowing when they needed to take time off to deal with personal matters and knew when they were ready to return.

[Pennster]

One time I was talking about some experiences of grieving. I was crying and my therapist was very teary. He told me a story of a dying relative that he had met wth that week. It felt to me like a moment of communion of a sorts, in the way that death and grief are universal human experiences, and they link us all as terrible things we must all endure. I find it consoling to think of that for some reason. I experienced a lot of loss when I was quite young so for much of my life I've been a bit more acquainted with death and grieving than most of my friends. To have a companion in grief has been very powerful and profound for me, and I think I feel more compassion about my own grief and just the difficulty of the whole human condition through sharing my experience of grieving with my therapist, and his sharing a glimpse of his own.

My t has quite a few times, for her privacy, im not going to share it. But it has made us closer.

[atisketatasket]

No. 1 once teared up quite noticeably when talking about a favorite long-term client who had died a few months previously, before I started seeing her. Voice broke and all that.

But other than that, all of them have acted very stable and calm, and I don't know of anything they were going through.

Never has.

[Cinnamon_Stick]

My T never has. She is always very good about keeping her stuff out of sessions and our therapy. Last week we were talking on the phone and she mentioned that she just had a death in her family and so she might not be herself. She sounded the same. I didn't notice any difference in her on the phone or in my session today. I did feel bad for crying and going on about my issues when she was dealing with a death.

[velcro003]

Originally Posted by Jaybird57

cause he loved his work and saw it as a way to allow him to have a semi normal day.

To be honest, his reaction was one of the reasons I ended going to him. I was the one who just couldn't handle him returning when he did; it triggered too many memories for me regarding a death of an older sibling in my own family. I realize now that I just couldn't get my head around someone moving on the way he did. I just felt weird talking about my own issues when all the time I was thinking, "Dang, this guy is grieving about the death of his only child! He doesn't want to hear my silly junk!" In some ways, I regret not talking about it with him because it might have been a very important learning situation for me. But I just couldn't get my head around it.

I wouldn't be able to get my head around that either. If my T didn't take a few months off at least, I'd probably wouldn't be able to continue. I get the need to try and go about your day as normally as possible so you don't lose your mind...but man, as a therapist?!

My previous T cancelled last minute one week to say her college roommate was killed, and she needed to fly out to another state to go to the funeral. I saw her the week after, and said that I was sorry it happened, and I did feel weird about it, but she seemed fine, and it never interfered with our therapy. I did think she seemed a bit off at the 1 year anniversary, but I understood that.

[spring2014]

Originally Posted by velcro003

I wouldn't be able to get my head around that either. If my T didn't take a few months off at least, I'd probably wouldn't be able to continue. I get the need to try and go about your day as normally as possible so you don't lose your mind...but man, as a therapist?!

My previous T cancelled last minute one week to say her college roommate was killed, and she needed to fly out to another state to go to the funeral. I saw her the week after, and said that I was sorry it happened, and I did feel weird about it, but she seemed fine, and it never interfered with our therapy. I did think she seemed a bit off at the 1 year anniversary, but I understood that.

my therapist cried in front of me whenever she talks about her grandmother and her dad in my sessions with her .I emphasize with her as my counselor that she too misses her grandmother and her dad cuz she was close to both her grandmother and her dad.




Diagnosis: Anxiety and depression
meds: Cymbalta 60 mgs at night
Vistrail 2 25 mgs daily for anxiety prn
50 mgs at night for insomnia with an additional 25 mgs=75 mgs when up past 1:00 in the morning

[NowhereUSA]

Twice. He's gotten emotional twice in our seven years and both had to do with deaths.

That's about all I'll say on it. In general he keeps it out of the room. Once he was caught off guard, I triggered him and he didn't expect it. The other time had to do with a health issue I was aware of from a brief conversation that had led to an unexpected death in his life. The triggered one set off a strong emotional response. The second one, he was clearly affected but redirected and reigned it in. You work with someone long enough things pop up.

[RedSun]

My T is good at keeping her stuff out. Once recently she said she may appear tired, and it was connected with a family issue which I am vaguely aware of, won't say what right here...
And once, I walked out because I felt T was angry with me and not acknowledging it. She said next session that she was angry IRL. But not what about.

[Chummy]

My T also seem good at keeping her stuff out. I've never seen her emotional. I also get the impression that her life is pretty good and she's a happy and postive person.
I don't think it I bad thing if she would show some emotion (other than laughing or compassion, empathy).

[Argonautomobile]

No way! I get that T's are human and have their own stuff going on, but if I walked into session and my T were weeping quietly over his private misfortune, tissues strewn about like so many pieces of a broken heart, I'd be like, dude, need a personal day much?

Haha. No, I'm not actually that cold-hearted. I'd be worried and sad and not be able to talk about my problems. So, not great practice on the T's part, in my view.

[magicalprince]

Yes I said a stupid, hurtful thing reflexively and made her cry. I regret that a lot.